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Goodbye Jesus

Simply Complex : My Deconversion


TempestLyn

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Looking back, I cannot remember a time outside of Christianity. I grew up in the Midwest in a typical Christian family, I went to Sunday school and church, and I attended a private Christian school from pre-K to my senior year. I was taught that the Bible was the undisputed word of God, that God created the universe and everything in it in 6 days, and that God loved us so much he came to die for our sins. I learned about Christian doctrine: the Trinity, original sin, predestination/free will, etc. I knew it, I believed it, and I thought I truly understood it.

Then I went to college, and I realized how truly sheltered I had been. This was the first time I had ever talked to people of different religions (or *gasp* sexual orientations) in a normal conversation. I realized that maybe those differences may not matter as much as I had thought. The final nail in the coffin, was when I had this epiphany: everyone believes that their faith is the 'true religion' just as strongly as I do, why should I consider Christianity as the 'Truth' compared to them? What makes it different? And that's when I stopped being a Christian.

It seemed simple enough, but then came the doubts: what if I'm wrong? what am I thinking? this is too big a risk; everyone's going to be so disappointed with me. The fear of dying in my sleep and being sent straight to hell kept me up several nights. I considered falling back on what I had always known just to be safe (Pascals Wager), but I felt like I if I did I would be lying to myself, my family, and God. I wouldn't be doing it out of faith or love; I would be doing it out of fear and self-preservation. And wouldn't that be just as damning as not believing at all? I wanted to be honest with my self and if that meant risking damnation so be it.

As of now, I have been an ex-Christian for over two months and at the moment I consider myself an agnostic atheist. Maybe my views will change, maybe they won't. I have nothing to prove and everything to discover.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Welcome to ex-c, Tempest Lyn.  I liked reading your extimony: small but perfectly formed. :)

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 Welcome to Ex-c Tempest Lyn. Thanks for sharing. I can really relate to what you say here,.... '' I would be doing it out of fear and self-preservation. And wouldn't that be just as damning as not believing at all?'' I think you are so right when you say that fear may be the very last reason why it's so hard to break free from the grasp that religion has on us. It certainly was for me. Fear and control is basically what religion is all about. They 'pretend' love. But it's all about fear of what god would do to us if we reject his 'so-called' word.

 

So glad you're here with us! Keep reading and posting and you will see that you are definitely not alone in this. I think the more that come out of the closet in the next decade, the sooner religion will be questioned by a lot of people and maybe someday.....it will be a thing of the past for those who live in the next century.

 

Hug

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"I have nothing to prove and everything to discover."

 

What a fantastic attitude! Good luck, and thank you for sharing.

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Thanks for sharing and good luck in this facinating journey that only other ex-c'ers understand! :D

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A life lived in service out of fear is pretty well what Christianity demands.  It is objectionable, and reveals how shallow is the belief that the religion demands.  You did well to see through it so completely and quickly.

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