What Makes You Different? Why Are You Atheist?

November 25, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I've been reading Will Storr's new book "The Unpersuadables" about people who cling to their beliefs when presented with conflicting evidence. That made me wonder, why do some people change their mind? I'm a journalism grad student and writing about this for my final "Religion & Journalism" paper. I'd love to get everyone's insight!

-Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

-What makes you different?

-Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

-Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism? Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

Thanks in advance. And you can read my own journey to atheism here: http://www.alternet.org/belief/how-i-went-being-southern-baptist-preachers-daughter-open-atheist

-Lala

November 25, 2014

1. No

2. N/a

3. Yes, a distrust of groupthink of any kind, and high suspicion of cult-like activity such as the demonization of other cults

4. Yes, growing up and realizing that the world is run by phonies and liars

November 25, 2014

Yes

I have a higher level of education.

Curiosity

No

No

November 25, 2014

I'm one of few in my circle of friends, family, and former institutions.

I've always been a deep thinker and a bit more committed and more skeptical than most.

Approaching mid-life may have contributed to an honest, critical examination of my beliefs.

Sharing the same information which convinced me has not persuaded anybody else in my circles, though I do see sprouts from seeds I've planted.

November 25, 2014

Finding out that the standard formula for happiness drummed into me from childhood didn't work out.

November 25, 2014

Right, Deva. Even as a young child I did not like it when I discovered I was told a lie. When I was told by my parents that there was a spirit of Santa Claus, I said that I didn't care about a spirit.;. Is there a Santa Claus? My mother chuckled because she saw I was smart enough not to buy the "spirit" idea. I have always wanted to know the truth no matter what. Even so, it took me many years to figure out that Xtianity was a myth. I think it was because my older brother was a fundamental Xtian (and still is) and I refused to believe he was lying to me. But I finally realized that he was a victim.

Rip

November 25, 2014

Yes RipVanWinkle and lets not forget the American Protestant work ethic - work hard enough and you will succeed. No one ever said you also must be young and pretty and have a successful husband.

November 25, 2014

I think the seeds of my atheism were planted when I attended college. I tried to avoid all the "Satanic" sciences like biology (sic) but I didn't see any harm in taking astronomy. And during an astronomy lab I did some actual research on light spectrum. It wasn't a conspiracy. It was based on real data. That knowledge kept in the back of my head and slowly ate away at my fundamentalism for year. Much later when the promises of religion were not working out the truth I learned about science pulled me back to rational thinking.

And so far I am the only known atheist in my family.

November 25, 2014

-Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

Yes

-What makes you different?

I've been a firefighter for almost 20 years. I'm also in the national guard and have two tours in Iraq. I've seen a lot of death, pain, and other things that contradict the notion that there is an all powerful, all knowing, loving God out there.

-Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

No

-Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism? Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

The combination of life experience and actually knowing what the bible says led to my deconversion. My brother went through a period of questioning his faith but in the end, he chose to believe.

November 25, 2014

-Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

No, this area is replete with them, as it is with many different faiths.

-What makes you different?

Not sure what you are asking here. If you mean what makes me different from those still in belief, I was finally willing to ask real questions and expect actual responses. Many believers are content with non-answers that we get early in our faith. "Well, you know what you've already experienced, so you know it's true even if you can't explain it yet." 30 years later after much hardcore fundamentalism, I was forced to ask a "why" question. Many believers laugh at that and say "God NEVER answers why!!!", which means they don't really care about what is true or false, but in fitting-in. I asked why and waited, fasted and prayed and heard nothing, so began searching online. I found this site and lots of actual answers. Then I understood the answer to my "why".

-Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

I had already left church a few years previously due to a pastor who wanted more and more time from my wife (she's brilliant with business), even wanting her to leave work and come to church meetings. Uh, no, mortgage, etc. The elders wanted me to become an elder also, which told me they couldn't be hearing from god but were motivated by getting people into the pews to pay for the new building. But I was still a gung-ho believer until I was hit in the face with an outright lie by another trusted pastor. I stopped everything and asked "Why is what he preached not real? Why is he having to make up stories of miracles if the gospel is true?" <insert crickets chirping> I sought and sought and received no reply, though I had been sure I had heard direct replies previously. All that to say that perhaps I'm more interested in truth than in fitting-in.

-Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism? Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

Just the above, but it wasn't so much a move on my part as finding out that the power I had come to believe was real proof of god was actually fake. That was quite a blow, and began the cracks that would eventually cause my faith to crumble and freedom to begin.

November 25, 2014

I stopped believing because I started to want to know.

November 25, 2014

IQ obviously.

-Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

Two of my cousins are also. One never bought the BS even though her family dragged her to church every week, the other, like me, thought his way out.

-What makes you different?

I've always been told I think too much.

-Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

Introspection

-Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism? Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

It all snowballed. No one thing.

November 25, 2014

1. I think I'm one of a few. Could be more in the extended family as they're not Christians, I'm not sure.

2. My constant daydreaming.

3. I was always curious and open-minded.

4. It was a number of things, but studying at uni made me more of a critical thinker for one thing. Many of my friends and immediate family stubbornly hold on to their beliefs no matter what contradictory information they're faced with, so had they made similar choices, I don't know that it would have phased them in the least.

November 25, 2014

I'm the only atheist in my family that I know about, though I do have several friends who are atheists. I even have one friend who is a pastor and although he isn't an atheist, he no longer believes in the traditional christian religion.

Genetics is really what makes everyone unique, though I know that's not really what you're asking. I would classify myself as just another schmuck with an average intelligence, an average career, and an average family life living in an average community.

I have always been and "all or nothing" type person. This is the result of a youth pastor constantly harping that message to me during my childhood and youth. The consequence of this was that I pushed my faith to the extreme... and it broke.

There were probably some choices made that led me to where I am, though, if there were, they were not major life choices. Most likely there would have been a series of small, mundane choices that set me on an unstoppable course.

And, welcome to the forums.

December 3, 2014

Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

I'm not a fan of labels myself, so I don't normally refer to myself as an atheist. I guess I'm technically an agnostic (even my user name is "agnostic" spelled backwards), but I admit that it has become difficult to view the idea of god as anything other than superstition, so I'm technically also an atheist.

Anyway, I'm not aware of anyone in my family who identifies as an atheist. Well, my young daughter now identifies as an atheist, but that happened after I left the faith and had no influence on my leaving the faith. I'm proud of her for thinking for herself (I didn't do anything to persuade her; she found facts about religion on her own). Otherwise, I'm not aware of any, though there are some who don't take religion as seriously as the ones I've been the closest to, so it's possible that some of them may be atheists. I don't see them often and haven't brought the issue up, and it's equally possible that they believe in religion to some extent without being overtly religious.

As far as I know, none of the friends I had as a Christian have left the faith, but I have since then made new friends who are atheists and agnostics. I can't speak for my hometown, since I don't know everyone (or even most of the people) there.

What makes you different?

Everyone's different to some degree or other, of course, but with relation to my discovering that religion is a farce, I think it's just a matter of me being more analytical of my faith than a lot of those around me, and taking religion seriously enough (when I believed it was true) to want to grow in my faith and learn as much of "God's Word" as I could. I also looked a little bit into other religions out of a desire to know how to lead those of other faiths to Christ, so I was aware of how people could be sincerely wrong in their faith.

Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

I've always seen truth as of the utmost importance, so I was more interested in following the facts where they lead than just propping up preconceived notions. Of course, I used to think that the beliefs I was raised with would be confirmed by the facts, but when I started to see that I had been duped by a big, fat lie, I had no choice but to accept the reality that was becoming clear to me.

Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism?

Nothing like that. I simply studied the Bible a lot, believing it to be "God's Word." Though it took several years for the blinders of indoctrination to begin to crack, once I started seeing that there really are problems in the Bible that are not resolved by the flimsy pat-answers offered by the church (including even the educated apologists), it became increasingly obvious that the Bible is wholly a work of men and not at all inspired by some perfect deity as Christians claim.

Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

I didn't make a "choice" myself. Realizing the truth is not a choice, but rather an enlightenment. Anyway, so far it appears that nothing has opened the eyes of at least the closest members of my family (apart from my aforementioned daughter) and the Christian friends I have. Of course, the nonreligious friends I have now are on a similar path, but I didn't know any of them when I was on my journey out of religion.

December 3, 2014

- No. All of my kids are atheists also and were before me. I am not aware of anyone in my extended family nor my friends that are atheists though.

- Skeptical by nature and if there is something I don't understand, I will try to learn about it.

- Same answer as above.

- No life choice. I read the bible from cover to cover in a year and blogged about what I was reading. Along the way, I investigated internal bible contradictions, conflicts with science and history, and other questions that I had been wondering about. As a result and about two years later, I realized that it made more sense that it wasn't real.

- No. Most of my christian family and friends have read the bible from cover to cover and still believe.

December 3, 2014

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." - Salvador Dali

December 3, 2014

Apparently some people are more prone to think for themselves and are also more resistant to peer pressure. Dr. James Fowler's book, Stages of Faith, indicates it is not uncommon for people of faith, at some point in their life, to begin questioning their beliefs.

December 3, 2014

1. My parents were agnostics, and my grandparents (who I didn't really know) refused to enter a church when they came to the U.S. from the Old Country for personal reasons. Other family members are all over, all xian religions, agnostic, and a cousin that's Muslim, and one that's Jewish. Most of my family members are dead now, or I've lost contact with them (I never knew my cousins growing up as they were mainly decades older than me). My friends are a mixed bag -- a couple atheists, a Catholic, a couple protestants. I just moved to my new hometown, so I don't know.

2 and 3. I've always loved to read, especially non-fiction, even as a kid. So if I have questions about something, I go to the library and try to find a book about it. Questions bug me until I feel like I have a reasonable answer, but I much prefer books over discussions with people. I've never been afraid to be different from the crowd, even if they don't like me. I was far from popular growing up, and by junior high/high school I eventually embraced it.

4. I guess my only life choice was eventually reverting back to my parents' agnosticism, then I took it further and am now atheist. Since they've been dead for quite a while, I don't know fully what their real beliefs were, or if there would have been anything to make them change. Both my parents died without seeming to care about meeting their maker or not.

December 4, 2014

-Are you the only (or one of a few) atheist in your family, group of friends, and/or hometown?

My brother and I are the only atheists in my family. We deconverted around the same time. I have a mixture of religious and non religious friends. I live in the south so obviously the majority of people are Christian, but I also live in a very diverse area so there are people with all kinds of beliefs.

-What makes you different?

Hmm.. I was always the black sheep, and the most sensitive, self reflective and self aware type of person in my family. I always analyzed myself and thought about my life a lot. Maybe that's what makes me different.

-Is there a personality trait that makes you more likely to leave religion?

Being curious and seeking truth, wanting honesty, and wanting to be realistic.

-Was there a life choice (moving, career, college) that you made that led you to atheism?

I don't know that there were any choices I made to become an atheist. My family made lots of bad choices, though, and I suffered a lot as a result. I think that showed me hypocrisy of Christians, how religion can be used as a crutch, and God never saved me. He never took me out of that bad situation and he never healed my chronic illness. I made a choice to get myself out and give myself a better life and I suppose this could be what lead to my atheism. I realized there is no god and you have to save yourself.

Would your Christian friends and family have made the same choice?

My brother obviously made the same choice as me, but I don't think my mom or grandparents would have of they were me. My mom doesn't think for herself and tends to follow other people. Following a god is natural to her and she always has. My brother and I experienced a lot of the same things and endured a lot together, so we came to the same conclusion. My grandparents are similar to my mom and they cling to religion without questioning, no matter the circumstance.

December 4, 2014

- Yes

- Education and Curiosity

- I am a literalist and a questioner of authority. I don't like being told what is true, I have to discover if it's true for myself. I have oppositional disorder.

- Yes, I moved away from family / friends to start my own life. I switched churches 3 times.

- No.

December 5, 2014

Deva: Well, I was young once but never pretty. But I think the work ethic myth did more harm to me than even Xtianity, if possible. In addition to good looks and a successful

spouse, the major lie is that if you work hard and believe you can do it, you can be successful in anything. That is true only for a relatively small number of folks. The vast number either do not have the raw intellectual ability, or the emotional or physical stamina or financial backing to achieve their respective goals. Oh sure, some have made it without the financial backing, but these are few and far between. The Big Lie is that success is available to everyone who works hard enough, no matter where she came from or what her goal. This belief causes people young people to make bad decisions as to their career. It also results in people who believe this myth to have political beliefs that government should not subsidize the poor because they are where they are solely because they are lazy. This is one of the biggest misconceptions of voters in the US and it causes a great deal of harm.

Rip

December 11, 2014

I think for me it is a combination of things.

1. Personality type-ENFP. Discovered my true personality type and realized it was way better to live authentically than putting on show. ENFP's really resent being told what to do.

2. Went to Graduate School.

3. Took a series of teacher workshops that pushed high levels of reading in US History, could see for myself that much of our history was about certain groups manipulating a lot of stuff to keep control. So, in a nutshell, a lot of reading and thinking.

4. Dealt with OCD my whole life and all the associated guilt. NOTHING FUCKING WORKED other than pills which took the edge off. Except..wait for it...LOSING GUILT. That, along with medication, made it 90% better.

5. Started running and realized if I was going to feel good, it was up to me.

December 11, 2014

I'll answer everything with this brief explanation. What makes us different from 'them'? On their part - willful ignorance. They're hit with an incredible array of counter arguments and evidence going totally against their god belief. Their reaction? They ignore everything and bleat out the same nonsense ad nauseum.

December 11, 2014

Good to see you, Raoul!

What Makes You Different? Why Are You Atheist?

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