◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Recently this year, back in September, I got back in touch with a Christian friend of mine who I had not spoken with in years and we picked our friendship back up where it left off. For a while after we started hanging out again, I had been keeping my deconversion hidden, because I honestly was not entirely sure how he'd handle it if he knew I was not a believer anymore. Somehow, earlier today, we got to talking about Christianity, though I don't really remember how. My experiences as a doubting Christian and becoming an ex-Christian casually came up in the conversation. As the words were coming from my mouth, I could hardly believe that I was saying them out loud. We discussed the doubts I had and why I had them and he says that he completely understands where I am coming from. I guess it helped that he was more open-minded than most of the Christians in the church that I went to for most of my life. He seems to have his own unique brand of Christianity, which is less toxic than mine was. I think his open-mindedness and ability to see my side, instead of covering his eyes and ears and ignoring opposing ideas, is probably what caused this to be such an interesting and positive experience for me. As for the Christian fundies in my life who hold onto my old beliefs, I certainly would not expect such a positive reaction from them, as they are still stuck in the mind-trap that is Fundamentalist Christianity. Maybe I'll find a way to come out to them as well, or maybe I won't, but for right now, I'm happy to be further out of the ex-Christian closet. One other thing worth noting is that my friend was able to figure out that I wasn't a Christian anymore before I even said so. I guess he is just that intuitive. Perhaps he was waiting for me to open up and admit to it, I don't know. At least now I have one less person that I had to hide parts of myself from. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 That's great to hear, CG. Nice to be reminded there are tolerant xians out there. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 That's great to hear, CG. Nice to be reminded there are tolerant xians out there. Yes, that is nice. I really am glad that he didn't end up trapped in my brand of Christianity. I know that I tried to convert him back in my fundy days and then after leaving the religion, I thought I had somehow contributed to him becoming trapped in a toxic religion. Fortunately, my crazy, fundy attempts to convert him were in vain and he ended up in a less harmful version instead. To think what might have happened if he had become a fundy like I was, he probably would have ended up as screwed up by his beliefs as I was. Whether or not he would have deconverted afterwards would have been impossible to predict. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Or even whether he's somewhere in the process of deconversion... Your conversation strikes me as akin to throwing a pebble in a pond. No knowing how far the ripples will travel. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 I'm glad to hear this, Crazyguy. I by necessity came out to a cousin of mine who follows me on Twitter. I was pretty concerned about her response, her father was a fundamentalist Baptist preacher. She was quite genuine, we even had a conversation about Darwin, which she has already read. No backlash or anything I might have expected, though I admit I don't know her that well. She was good to go with keeping it under the hat. But was very gracious about it, and doesn't try the stuff you always hear about, and that I suspected might come from that particular set of cousins. Seems I was wrong in that regard. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 ... my friend was able to figure out that I wasn't a Christian anymore before I even said so. I guess he is just that intuitive. Perhaps he was waiting for me to open up and admit to it, I don't know. At least now I have one less person that I had to hide parts of myself from. probably because you didn't bring it up in the first 10 minutes of talking Congrats on your friend. I'm getting ready to let an old friend know before we start driving long distance to visit this year. Just in case... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AManWithOutAGod Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Good to hear, I was glad my friends were accepting of my athiesm. Now my family? well lets keep it a secret still.... for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 I'm glad to hear this, Crazyguy. I by necessity came out to a cousin of mine who follows me on Twitter. I was pretty concerned about her response, her father was a fundamentalist Baptist preacher. She was quite genuine, we even had a conversation about Darwin, which she has already read. No backlash or anything I might have expected, though I admit I don't know her that well. She was good to go with keeping it under the hat. But was very gracious about it, and doesn't try the stuff you always hear about, and that I suspected might come from that particular set of cousins. Seems I was wrong in that regard. I am glad to hear that you also had a good experience with coming out. Your cousin sounds like a nice person to talk to. Given her reaction and the fact that you talked with her about it, I'd say you know her better than you did before. It truly is fortunate that you were wrong about the type of believer she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 ... my friend was able to figure out that I wasn't a Christian anymore before I even said so. I guess he is just that intuitive. Perhaps he was waiting for me to open up and admit to it, I don't know. At least now I have one less person that I had to hide parts of myself from. probably because you didn't bring it up in the first 10 minutes of talking Congrats on your friend. I'm getting ready to let an old friend know before we start driving long distance to visit this year. Just in case... You are probably right about how he knew. That makes a lot of sense, but I guess I never thought of that. Good luck to you when you let your old friend know that you're not a believer anymore. I hope it goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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