Any Other Second-Generation Sufferers Of Dogma?

[Jutta]

This is an odd topic, I imagine. 

However, my father was raised with a very strict Irish-Catholic mother.. There is a back story to this, as she was orphaned at around age 12 and wound up raising her brothers and sisters-- the one's who helped her were mostly Catholic nuns. Most of my extended family is Catholic, they know the ropes and rules in every ritualistic mass. I'm the clueless heathen-- it bothered me more as a child but now I don't give a _____

 

This thread of strict Catholicism broke in my family, since my father married someone who was raised in a German-Lutheran neighborhood near NYC. Nevertheless, she was pushed into becoming a Catholic, and two of their many children were baptized. After IC grammy died, I was an infant, and never christened myself. 

 

There was still a sharp edge on him that kept the authoritarianism but threw off the Catholic trappings. We weren't forced to go to church, but the child-rearing practices remained similar. Children are to be seen and not heard. Obey your parents. Don't blaspheme. 

Around the time I was 8 or so, my mother returned to her Lutheran roots full force. My father learned that most of his original family were Lutherans originating from Germany (which was kind of taboo while was growing up during WWII in a Catholic neighborhood, so his own family tried to hide it). My father disliked her going to church but couldn't stop her. My mother tried to have her younger kids go to church with her, but he was an obstacle (despite being a lapsed Catholic, he still wanted no Lutheran children).

 

My mother, thank goodness, was never a fundamentalist sort. She dislikes the fact that her children don't go to church, but she's not anti LGBT, against female pastors, or anti-evolution. I'm not sure what to describe her as-- it's like old school regular grew-up-in-the-Bronx-and-not-sheltered christian? She wore makeup in high school and went to dances. She manages to teach a Sunday school class to 13 year olds, and they don't hate her, so she can't be a much of a hard core fundy in practice. 

 

I flirted with christianity in my early 20s after 9-11. It was a dismal time, and while graduating college there were no jobs to be had. I experienced some of the weird belongingness that occurs in a fundamentalist church. At that time I briefly lived in Florida, and visited a big mega-church down there. I don't entirely regret that time, only because it enlightened me about what kind of attitudes people have in different parts of the country. Reading the bible can be enlightening in that  one can see where certain attitudes originate from. I was never forced into any Sunday schools as a kid, so the parallels between verses I read and things people said surprised me. 

 

There were some aspects of religion which just bewildered me. Speaking in tongues? Letting go and letting god? WTF is that supposed to mean? The real deal breaker that broke me of the christianity stupor was the blatant sexism. Sorry, had to say it. Around 2004, one of the female televangelists (don't laugh) of whom I enjoyed listening to made some comments about the US election, and something involving women's rights-- probably abortion, or something like that. This turned me off cold for some reason. I can't fathom supporting a "holy war" war that has child casualties while opposing abortion. I couldn't swallow the punitive nature of christian dogma in regards to women, the theocracy of certain political fronts in the US, the bizarre how-to books in the christian bookstores promising women peace if they submitted to their husbands and fathers.

 

Just to add a side note, when an unplanned pregnancy occurred to me, I did not run to the clinic. I was never involved in sorority house shenanigans as I was a commuter in college and lived at home. I did not belong to any feminist groups in college. I had only one long term boyfriend. I probably gave off the appearance of a very conservative person in 2004. Still do, I'm sure. However, something about the oppressive nature of mainstream christianity today (in the US specifically) towards women just bothers the hell out of me. Watching the news and seeing politicians debate over pregnancy and legitimate rape? WTF? And these people have control over laws? In my country? 

 

In one of my rants, I made mention of my father and his attitude towards his daughters growing up. His own sisters were treated very poorly, were controlled by the ultra-strict Catholic mother, and never married or left the home. According to my mother, one of the sisters was raped and never confessed to her mother, apparently because she knew she would never be believed. As I grew older, I realized some of his behavior was a repeat of what he grew up to believe. All women must be the Virgin Mary. Thankfully he was never at the level of some fundamentalists today. 

 

My ex, my son's father, has a mother who is paranoid schizophrenic. And, ironically, she had a very strict Irish Catholic mother who treated her like dirt, too-- made her a virtual house slave serving her for four brothers. He himself is a second generation sufferer of sorts- he hangs onto some pro-life ideas to some extent, completely anti-religion, and comes across as a Libertarian type more than anything. 

 

Still however, the trappings remain. Never quite good enough. Never quite worthy enough. It's like the Catholic guilt without the "Jesus loves you" bullshit. 

 

 

 

 

[FreeThinkerNZ]

I'm a many-generation sufferer of dogma, my Baptist grandfather told me about hellfire and damnation at a young age.  I can't remember when, but it would have been under 5 years old.  I don't believe he ever stopped to consider the age of the children he was preaching to.  

 

My own parents were somewhere between fundy and liberal, and have mellowed with age.  My mother is still very judgmental though, and voices her opposition to LGBT people at every opportunity.  She is also a creationist.  Sigh.

 

Although NZ seems far ahead of the US in gender and racial equality, sexism and racism still pop up on a daily basis in some form.  I really feel for equality-minded people living in the US... the social climate there is rough, and seems to be worsening all the time.  Hang in there...

[Ellinas]

I suppose dogma informs social prejudice - so quite a lot of us have likely felt its' dead hand in one way or another.