Me And Doctors...appointment Ahead For Add Treatment

[moanareina]

Hi everyone

 

So I finally have a second appointment at the psychologist to see how to go from here with my ADD.

Last week I had a really weird week. I felt very distant, not really here, like in a dream. It was hard to communicate with other students and I preferred to be alone instead of trying to make good contacts and all.

 

Even though yesterday has been better it was a weird day. As I got up I felt normal (whatever normal is...not that sure about it anymore). Then I dressed and prepared to go see my parents, because my mom invited all of us for lunch due to her birthday last week. My emotions started to be weird again and I felt like entrapped again, not really myself. So this might also have to do with PTSD and my subconscious just make me go into a fight or flight mode even though there is no reason to do so anymore. But I also noticed that I hardly ever relax even when I go to bed. It is not always the same, sometimes I am more tense then other times but a little tense I am all the times. I press my jaws pretty hard at night...sometimes it hurts in the morning.

 

However, today I felt very different. Still there is some of that knot in my throat that I feel most of the times. But my concentration was way better than last week and I did not feel this deep isolation, was able to be nice with others etc. 

 

This is all so weird because it is my experience I have with doctors in general. As soon as I feel like I really need to have an appointment and can't wait any longer...and then get the appointment I start to feel better again and by the time I will be at the doctor most of the times I don't even know why I am there anymore.

 

I know this ADD stuff has joined me my whole life without me being aware it was ADD but yeah, it somehow comes in waves. And this confuses me. In the episodes when I am feeling better I also manage to organize my life better though I never got to the point of totally cleaning up my mess...just feeling like I could do it and would do it...to then get emotionally wrapped up again.

 

But right now I am somehow afraid of this appointment and also those voices of people who think life should be managed without meds and ask me what a doc could do blah blah are echoing in my head. Also those who say that those meds only work because of their placebo effect...and have severe side effects.

 

It is another doctor's office than I went for the diagnosis. It is possible they want to do another testing which is fine with me...as long as it will result in the right treatment. But I also am afraid of it...like I am most of the times when it is about such things.

 

Ah well, I just go and see what the doc will tell me. My deductible is already payed from the testing so I pay only 10% of the bill anyways.

 

OK, hm, if anyone has anything encouraging or that is worth to consider to say I appreciate it. Otherwise it just feels good to put this out there :-).

 

Thanks and cheers!

[amateur]

Good luck with the appointment!  I hope the doctor is good and you get some useful information that will help you.  Don't worry about other peoples' opinions, or about feeling better right before the appointment (that's a normal reaction).  Tell the doctor what's going on, be honest and open, and . . . I hope the best for you!

[Ric]

Doc and I had fellowship this morning.  Maybe you and I should have just shared a bag of doughnut holes and been done with it.  

Don't you hate feeling like you've been "had," by the guy that's supposed to be helping you? 

I wonder if he and I have ever been on the same page...

[moanareina]

Thanks amateur

 

The thing about what other people say is not so much about what they think or say...it is more like what if they are right...that makes me a little scared. Maybe some left overs from my religious background...what if...gah.

 

 

And Ric

 

Yes what you are describing sounds quite frustrating. Is this your own experience or are you assuming it is mine? Leaves me a little confused .

[Ric]

Just me, apparently.  Sorry to confuse, and that borders on commandeering your post.  Not my intention at all.

[moanareina]

No worries, I just wanted to know .

 

Have you had this with other doctors as well or is this the only one? Maybe you need to change doctors?

I think though to feel comfortable and also with a competent doc is important. Then again they are no miracle workers. Just people trying to help to the best they know.

I quit a therapy last year. It was some alternative approach and I just felt as if we played kindergarten and not really going anywhere. He was sad that I just "left the process we just started" but to me there was no process visible. So this is just another thing that doesn't work. Period. No one has had me. I went in hopes to get help, saw the help I was seeking was not the help I was getting and so I left.

 

I did not feel comfortable at the office I went for my ADD diagnosis either. The woman on the reception was as if she was bothered by people coming in and very cold and distant. And the psychologist seemed very insecure to me. It was pretty easy to get that diagnosis even though I think it is accurate. But I don't feel comfortable to move on with her. Somehow I feel weird when I think about telling her about my life and issues and all. But she talked about a group and the office gave me the phone number of that other office where that group would be. So I called them but the group didn't start due to not having enough participants. Now since I called I just made an appointment. I saw they are specialized in PTSD too and that makes me feel good for now. How it will be when I get there...another story. And yes, I go from good idea to I don't know if this is the right path to good idea to...I guess it is a typical anxiety thing.

I had several people telling me how I was running on fight or flight mode all the time. So anxiety is part of that even though I was never really aware this was anxiety. Crazy. It is exhausting.

 

Hope you will find a good solution to your doctor's problem. 

[sparklingphoenix]

hey moanareina,

 

I've had all kinds of experiences with doctors. If you think that medication would help you, there is no harm in trying it. My brother has ADD, and he took medication for it when he was a kid. He said it made him feel less like himself when he took it, but it taught him how it feels to be able to concentrate. He doesn't take it at all anymore. When he was in college he used it to help him focus on studying.

 

I would say that you're the one who knows what you're feeling in your body and other people don't. My experience with medicine and chronic pain has been that doctors have no clue what they are doing with me and I'm like a lab rat. I chose for a long time to deal with the pain without any medical help because I was so frustrated with doctors giving me crazy meds that made me feel worse. I think medicine might help you, but it also has side effects, so you'll have to make a decision on if the pros are worth the cons that come with them. Good luck to you, and I hope you find the best route for yourself to feel better.

[RipVanWinkle]

moanareina: I have ADD and I know what a pain in the ass it is. Medication for mental health can be very successful or just the opposite. But if your doctors get it right it can make a huge difference. Antidepressant meds helped me considerably. But it took years- literally- to get the right meds in the

right combination. I persevered because my depression was too hard to accept. I didn't have a choice. To go on without a cure or at least a partial cure

would have been intolerable. The years of looking paid off.

 

You need to use a doctor that you trust. So do some checking on his/her history and get references. Once you are satisfied, listen to your doctor and

forget anecdotal stories from others. Depend on your doctor. If you don't get better after a reasonable period of time. get another doctor. That is where

you will get your best advice, not through anyone who does not treat ADD patients regularly. If it doesn't work, change doctors, but not to

nonprofessionals. Psychiatry is the right professional.I can't emphasize that enough. And don't give up until you have found the right answer, no matter

how long it takes.Good luck. Rip

[moanareina]

Thank you guys

 

Yes depression is hitting me but that too comes and goes. Right now I am more or less OK. I think it has to do with the structure that University gives to my week (my job does not do that since I work irregular and shifts and weekends) and I am learning something interesting. I guess without that the feeling of going nowhere and the question what I am even doing here would overwhelm me. It did many times. To the point of thinking how it would be to just put an end to this life. To avoid to get into this thought carrousel I pursue the idea that before I would do something to end this life I would buy a plain ticket to a beautiful place in the caribbean or so and just be there and maybe find a new life instead.

 

I am somewhat positive about meds because coffee helps me a lot but it also makes me not sleeping after a while. I don't smoke but when I do I can clearly feel an effect on my psyche even more than with alcohol. Alcohol works in both ways, depending on...I don't know...but it can make me outgoing and happy and talkative or sad and wanting to cry out my soul.

Thinking about it I would say it is better to take meds instead of smoking and drinking coffee all the time.

 

And reading more and more about ADD I think my depression has a lot to do with it because it actually feels more like being emotionally exhausted. That's when I have no power to do the things that would be fun to do and help me to get better...a vicious circle. And my boring job is not really helping in this either. And the fact that I have not many friends and not really close ones either. But it just never came easy to me...having friends. Even though I love to be with people and can be outgoing when my energy isn't blocked by dealing with weird emotions. 

 

So yeah, I guess there are more reasons to try meds than to remain in my mess and all.

 

And thank you for sharing your experiences. That helps me the most. I am on a forum for ADD people but there is not really much exchange going on. Only when people talk about their kids medication.

[moanareina]

OK...doctor's appointment went over well.

 

I was so nervous...and emotional...weird.

 

However, I got three appointments for the coming three weeks, so I think the psychologist is taking me serious. Though she mentioned that she has the feeling that I had some traits of borderline disorder. While it made sense to me it is weird to think to have this. However, in the end the only thing I care is to get the help that I need to find a happy life. So I got some more sheets where I need to answer questions to see what else is showing up besides ADD. And at the end if it is ADD at all. She said ADD bipolar and borderline have very similar symptoms.

 

Also she told me I would look very desperate...huh, I knew I would not look like the happiest person in the world but I was not aware I would look that bad. But I guess it is good she saw this. And now I can't stop crying somehow. I did not know that talking about myself and my story, my life and all still stirs up all those emotions. I just feel so exhausted emotionally .

[amateur]

Hang in there and fill out the sheets and go to the appointments, and see what happens.  I'm hoping nothing but the best for you.  I'm sure you're having a rough day because talking about all that stuff would of course stir up lots of memories and emotions.  Try to do something relaxing or fun?  Just lots of luck to you, and really, I hope things turn out well!!!

[bruisermel]

Hi moanareina,

 

I wanted to pipe in from a physician's perspective. I am a family doc, I do treat ADHD in my practice, also depression and anxiety. I prescribe stimulants, SSRIs, SNRIs, etc.

 

First of all, congrats for following through on your appointment, that is a big step to take, and I think to be emotional after that is normal! 

 

As you may have already learned or discovered, the mental health world is lagging behind other specialities in evidence-based/science-based treatments. In addition, accurate diagnoses can be difficult and take time to evolve as your therapist and doc get to know you better.

 

The mental health specialty is probably the most archaic specialty of medicine there is. Because of that, there is often a lot of trial and error involved in finding the best treatment plan. The medications used to treat depression and anxiety are based on old theories and animal studies. Those medications raise serotonin, dopamine and/or norepinephrine levels, yet we have no way of knowing if someone is even deficient in those neurochemicals before starting the medication! That's like putting someone on thyroid replacement medication without knowing if they are deficient in thyroid hormone.

 

Having said that, studies do show SSRIs and SNRIS to be superior to placebo and, just as importantly, show serious side effects to be unlikely. They are the best we have for now (hopefully more studies and research coming soon!).

 

Similarly, in regards to ADHD, the stimulant class of medication, so far, are showing to be quite safe--probably safer than even previously thought when they first came on the market. 

 

I have seen SO MANY peoples' lives greatly improved with stimulants to treat ADHD and it is worth it to them to take medication. I have also seen people respond well to them in terms of helping symptoms, but not tolerate side effects (jitteriness, insomnia, changed personality). I've also seen people not respond to them at all. I've seen people use them just for periods of their lives, and at other times of their lives decide they were functioning well enough to not take them. I have yet to see a serious or long term side effect. I realize this is completely anecdotal, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt. 

 

As with anything we put in our bodies the potential pros have to outweigh the cons to make it worth it to try. Usually by the time someone is coming in to seek treatment they are feeling pretty cruddy and/or not functioning well in life and non-medicinal treatments have been attempted (i.e. journaling, exercise, eating healthy, getting good sleep, positive self talk, working on organizational skills, etc). In this situation, I usually think the possible pros outweigh the potential cons and patients often agree and medicine is often tried. Sometimes we get it right on the first try, often we don't. It is important to be patient, realistic, communicate honestly with your doc and listen to your mind and body!

 

I would encourage you, at the very least, to dive in with a good counselor. If a counselor can help you dig into your world views and thought patterns and processes you'll often find some engrained ways/habits of thinking that inadvertently contribute to how you are feeling and functioning, and if you can identify those and retrain your brain to think differently you'll often feel and behave differently.

 

Of course these are all very general thoughts not knowing the details of your situation.

 

Best wishes to you on this journey you are embarking on!

[moanareina]

Thank you both

 

I feel better right now...though that can always change pretty fast with no warning.

 

It is good to have a doctor's opinion. Thanks.

 

As I have thought about this borderline thing I have to say, I had many traits of it but somehow came to realize how I was only using others and expecting too much of people. This due to failed friendships that became very toxic and emotionally dependent to the point it was unbearable and ended with a big bang...although I am good with all of those people again just that I never had real close friends ever since. And the one friend I had afterwards and called when I felt down it felt like this was a one way street and I also felt like not bothering her too much because I did not want to use her. Black and white thinking...yes I know that...I am the "all or nothing" kinda person. But this too has changed drastically since my de-conversion. Not in every area. For example when I bought a laptop last year, it had to be a Mac-book and it had to be the fastest, newest (I was even afraid that if I bought it now there would be a better one coming out just two months later...), with the biggest hard drive and the best display...But then...once I have this stuff, I can be like: I have a laptop or a smartphone, I don't need to buy one ever year. My iPhone is now I think three or four years old...still working and while I am thinking as long as it is doing it's job it is fine. But then again I am: Well if it will work until the iPhone 7 comes out...I rather wait then buying an iPhone 6 now and then not having the newer...haha.

 

So I guess my attempts of self help has worked to a certain degree and I have outgrown many bad and damaging behavior. Also even though christianity has not done all good to me it has saved me from committing suicide, harmful and risky promiscuity, crime and I can imagine being in the sadism/masochism scene since this stuff has always attracted me and I had many self humiliating fantasies in my teens and early twenties (I stopped with them because they pushed me further into isolation but I can still get quite attached when I get visuals...).

 

What I now deal is with this crazy intense pain-like feeling that feels as if there is a fire or a tank that is under pressure and about to explode any time. I never really linked this to borderline because I never thought about harming myself or anything to make it stop. Only the thought of not wanting to live this life any longer, that is what I know from these episodes. The psychologist was surprised when I told her that I just try to endure it and let it pass. How I was trying to focus on that feeling and try to feel and allow it to be there. She was like: Oh, there you already practice awareness pretty well. I was not even thinking about it in this terms. But somehow it makes me proud to know I have already found the way to deal with this...

 

What I do wonder is, where does ADD kick in and where is it something else like borderline or whatever. She said she felt I was able to focus pretty well in our talk. Now concentration to be honest is not my biggest issue though it is one from time to time. Especially when I have to do home work and get distracted all the time or just feel like it I am not going anywhere with it and it consumes way more time than I intended or actually have. The biggest issue for me is actually the procrastination, then all those projects I have in mind but never make it into the real world, all the things I start and never continue, also the feeling that life is just passing by and I am not getting anywhere. The unease that comes over me when I am at work due to boredom. Understimulation and overstimulation...and the mood swings. And the fact that it is hard for me to make and keep friends.

 

Also this weird cycles that happen. Like I get into nice company, feel like finally something good is happening, meet good people, maybe through an already existing friendship, just to cycle into a weird mood again and not being able to keep up what started out so nicely. This worries me right now because I really have a new chance to be involved more into social life again due to me studying. So many cool people at my classes...I really don't want to mess it up and I want to engage with people. Also at work somehow my contacts got more friend-like. Especially with guys somehow. But I enjoy the attention and I am able to give the attention back . So I guess I have already improved. Maybe I am just thinking too much...haha...but can't stop that because my thinking is just like a radio that never stops playing. Not even at night...I dream every night and even when I snooze in the morning I have new dreams in these nine minutes to the next alarm...

 

My ADD, if it is ADD comes and goes. And I never really know until I am sitting there trying to do my homework or following a lecture. Sometimes my focus is clear, sometimes I am glad when I get the basics right. Same with social skills. Sometimes I can socialize quite well and other times it is not working at all. And I never know until I am in a situation where socializing is requested...like I can feel totally good when alone at home but then I get in touch with someone on the street or go to work and out of me comes just bad energy. It is the mood when I was a child and said something to my mom, totally unaware of how it came across and my mom got angry because it sounded rude...and told me to use another tone with her. That always confused me...though I am aware now when it happens...

 

And another weird thing...when I get sick I feel the happiest. I have all this inner energy I usually lack of and am motivated to start those projects I have in mind and to clean my flat etc. I even wake up early in the morning without the usual mind-fog but my body is too weak to do anything since I am sick...and as soon as I get better again it is all gone. This is quite frustrating...

 

OK...feels good to write this things down...

[moanareina]

Oh. One more thing.

 

I hate these question sheets. It depends so much on the situations and moods and all weather I would say yes or no to certain questions. How can a psychologist do a diagnosis based on such questions...really. Especially since it is said people who have a psychological issue are not best at evaluating themselves...

I know this is not the only thing used to do diagnosis and while she gets to know me better it will be more clear to what she thinks I have. But these sheets seem so irrelevant to me because really, one day I could say yes to a question while the other day a total no. sigh.

[bruisermel]

Hi Moanareina,

 

I agree, it can be so helpful to think through and write this stuff down!

 

A few thoughts come to mind (bearing in mind I am NOT an expert in this field, this is just from personal experience and some reading...).

 

1) I want to encourage you to stay on this path of learning and growing and being self-aware. Be patient with yourself. There won't be any quick fixes. Being raised in a toxic environment can wreak havoc on our brain wiring/thought processes and it takes time to work on and improve that. Be KIND to yourself. 

 

2) Coming up with an accurate diagnosis/diagnoses is a great goal, but that will likely take time and will probably evolve, so I wouldn't set that as the immediate goal...ultimately I think it's even more important to focus on what thought processes and behaviors aren't working for you in your life and work on that, regardless of the diagnosis. You've already identified a few--a tendency toward black and white thinking and to expect too much from people. 

 

3) To touch on the black and white thinking more--THIS is probably a huge contributing factor to your current struggles. This almost certainly developed as your brain's defense mechanism from growing up in a toxic environment-not your fault. But this world view does not work well in the real world. It can lead to extreme mood fluctuations, poor self esteem, inability to trust others, designing your life around arbitrary "shoulds and shouldn'ts," over-defensiveness and inability to be vulnerable to others and ultimately robs you of peace and joy. But, growing up you HAD to think this way to survive the rages or abuse or whatever you dealt with--part of a fight or flight reaction. It is hard to break free from this mindset as it's been a vital part of your survival thus far in your life, but it is do-able. Keep fighting to break free from it and make sure you celebrate your victories and improvements.

[moanareina]

Ah about the black and white thinking...I am really not that much stuck in it anymore, have opened up a lot and am learning. But I guess there might be some unconscious mechanisms at work.

 

And yes it all is survival mechanisms. I was at this week where we meditated in November and I took a massage and the guy said, I was not relaxed...and he was right. I hardly ever relax, not even when I sleep. Sometimes my arms are hurting in the morning. I am constantly alert, except when I fade away mentally.

 

The fear of losing someone is real too though I don't experience it right now because there is no one to lose really. I am very cautious because I don't want to overwhelm others with my emotions or something. I also skipped expectations.

 

Now...this all is not that crazy when thinking of how I came into this world and how I grew up.

My birth-mom was very young and I think she has some psychological disorder because since I got to know her at age 24 and also before when she tried to contact me it has been a struggle to communicate with her and it seems that she is unable to really connect with me. I can see the same patterns with my two half sisters.

From birth to the age of four I was at about seven different places already (daycare, foster families etc.), spent my weekends at either my grandparents, my birth-moms boyfriends parents or wherever. Got to my adopting family (my adopting mom has been my godmother) at age three or four and still spent all the weekends and vacations at my grandparents. When I was eight the adoption was completed and when I was nine my grandparents moved to another country (as my grandma retired) and I could only see them on vacations. That was very traumatic for me because my grandma was my mother figure. Even though she was my grandpas second wife. She loved me a lot because she could not have children of her own.

Two years later she died due to a stroke. Another shock for me.

 

My adopting parents never understood my problems. They just blamed me for being too sensitive not wanting to learn and a lot more of the (now I know) very typical traits of borderline...and ADD. At age nine I got my own alarm clock so my mom was not responsible for me being late to school.

Comes to it religion...mainly the fear of hell. It troubled me almost every night especially when I was at my grandparents. I remember getting desperate over trying to imagine eternity.

I also had many repetitive nightmares.

 

I am actually trying to untangle it all but it stirs up so much pain. While being a christian they always where like: You need to forgive your parents etc. And also to let go blah blah. And as a sincere person who took her faith for real I actually forgave them and I meant it...more than once...and it helped to a certain degree. Praying that god would do the rest...but he did not...so this is part of why I finally gave up with religion. And since I am not running behind a phantom to miraculously heal my wounds I finally have the freedom to see a professional.

Two years ago a friend told me I should go back into my childhood to find out what I really love doing. He wanted me to help finding my real passion. And it started a process of remembering...only that remembering for me comes with a price. But I think it is good. I can finally get to the root of it all. Thing is, many think I am stirring up old wounds that should be left alone...that I should leave my past behind etc. But that is not possible because it still has a hold on me.

 

So I am afraid of doing therapy but I know it is the right thing to do. I guess I am also afraid that the psychologist does not like me or will give up on me at one point. Also that she thinks I am just pretending or accusing me of not working with her or whatever. Also that she gives me a wrong diagnosis and I would just run in circles again. It took me a lot of courage to actually call and get an appointment. Especially since I am afraid of using the phone. But I did it

[moanareina]

Hm. So I had my second appointment at this psychologist and yes it was like: What am I even doing here. Like this week I felt so different to last week. The way I feel now is when I usually think I can do it without help. I am fine. I just need to get organized. To do my part. It also is hard to answer those questions that go like: Do you have sudden mood changes. I say yes, sometimes. How often. Hm...don't know...it is different...How do they play out. Hm...don't know, it is different...Do you sometimes feel like in a distant world. Yes. How is that? Don't know. How often. Don't know, it just happens once in a while. How long does it last. That is different each time. Well, a few hours, a day? Sometimes a few hours, sometimes a day, sometimes two weeks...gah.

 

However, she will get to know me.

 

But I feel like a phony when I am not in that desperate mood and have to describe how that is. Because as long as I am not in that mood it is hard to tell anyone how it feels when in it. Also it is as if I had forgotten about it. It is not relevant anymore...until I get another episode of it.

 

I also feel as if I have been diagnosed wrongly with ADD. Because right now I am way better at concentration. The only thing right now is, that I still can't start doing homework until about 10 or 11pm...because I need the pressure of time. And daydreaming. But not as bad as other days. And I had a short and not so bad black out today in class when we did a mock exam in latin to see where we stand. So far I can not remember black outs but I knew it was a mock exam...so maybe the adrenaline was not there to help me focus.

 

And I feel like I am wasting my and my psychologists time...but I know this can change in no time...

 

Don't know but maybe someone can relate?

[bruisermel]

I find myself drawn to responding to your posts because I do relate to a lot of what you've said. There are times where I feel so emotionally and mentally healthy and calm...all the "fleas" and poor coping skills and whatnot I work at shedding are momentarily shed. My "should and shouldn't" and "black and white" thinking is shut off. My perfectionism is tamed down. My tendency toward being a doormat and not trusting myself/my desires/values/priorities/etc is gone and I'm this appropriately confident clear-headed woman. In those moments I FEEL good, my productivity and efficiency is up, my quality of life and relationships are at their best. Thankfully, these times are becoming more and more of the time!

 

And then bam, SEEMINGLY out of nowhere I doubt everything. I have all these rules back in my head (i.e. the should/shouldn't/black/white thinking), and for me it's THAT thought process that seems to trigger everything else (worse perfectionism, more judgementalness, poor concentration, feeling anxious, feeling down, etc). But WHY my brain "click" goes back to default mode when it does, I haven't figured that out yet. Sometimes there is an obvious trigger (being around my dad who was the source of all things toxic in my upbringing), sometimes I think it might be lack of sleep--even just a LITTLE less sleep!  But man, when I'm in those "off modes" that can last anywhere from hours to days to weeks it feels awful and it feels like it'll never end even though I KNOW it will end, it always has before, no doubt it will again...and I totally agree, once you're on the other side all of a sudden the bad time seems like a figment of the imagination and I wonder what all the fuss was about. 

 

Clearly everyone's different, but I like to think that if you have these great moments in you then you've got the tools in you. Hopefully the counselor (and/or yourself!) can help pinpoint what triggers your backslide out of clear-headedness and how to successfully get yourself back to even-steven moanareina easier and quicker each time...

[yunea]

How about you write a little diary about how you feel during the days and what you spend your time doing, to help you remember when it's appointment time again? Just a little thought, I hope all goes well for you.

[moanareina]

Hm...wanted to write something into my thread but every time I am here I forgot what I had in mind...haha.

 

However, I have been at the psychologist three times now and a fourth appointment is to come next week. Somehow I felt like not really needing it as I was there the last time. Also I felt as if I was just pretending with my ADD and all...because last week went really well. I was only procrastinating but that always feels as if I just needed to kick my ass. Now this week I am very absent minded again and also feel this sadness and numbness inside. At work I observed how that inner restlessness is building up when I am bored and somewhat tired even though I slept enough. So my doubts about ADD come and go as the symptoms come and go...agh.

 

Now the psychologist told me she would see traits of borderline personality disorder and OCD but whenever I tell someone I trust they go like: No, not you. On the ADHD forum I participate someone also questioned this psychologists knowledge of ADHD. Now I really don't know because this psychologist was in charge of ADHD at the other place I went first for my diagnosis and had this therapy group and is planning to do another group as soon as she has enough interested people. That's actually why I went to her because I thought group sounds good...

 

Yesterday I visited a friend and as we talked she told me about another friend of hers who is studying psychology who has been told to get checked up for ADHD and got an address of a great expert on that field. I don't know why I never thought of him when I was thinking on how to find a good specialist since I know he is studying psychology...but well, that's how it goes. So I am thinking of asking him to give me a good address for a second opinion. At the same time I just think, if I get the Ritalin from the psychologist I am going right now, I might just see how that works. If not...I can still see what to do.

 

Aaaaand...I am thinking of going to a neurologist. Because I have a tremor that is also sometimes more and sometimes less intense. I never actually noticed until a friend told me that he finds it remarkable. That was about a year ago. And now I think about it once in a while and maybe it would be worth checking it out to see if there is something with my nerves that could be treated and maybe also the ADD symptoms have to do with it. Who knows. Maybe I am just hypochondrying. As I was seeing my biological uncle after more than fifteen years I noticed he had it too, so it must be something that runs in my family.

 

OK, I just wanted to get this off my chest. But if someone has something good to say, just go ahead

[moanareina]

UPDATE

 

Just had my fourth appointment and the report of the other psychologist got to her and now I need an appointment at the psychiatrist because my psychologist agrees with me to try the meds and it needs to be prescribed by a doc. Looking forward to try it out and also to get rid of my medical questions so I can evaluate if I should see a neurologist as well or whatever.

 

Somehow a weight is off m chest because I really felt like not really getting somewhere with her but now we are working on goals and steps to get more organized and the meds will hopefully do the rest...and if not I at least got the chance to try.

 

Also the group she wants to start starts to form and might be ready in June or so. Looking forward to that as well because it is more tangible to work on a program and have an exchange with others who struggle with the same shit  .

 

This feels as if I finally get somewhere in life  .