Scottsman Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Satire here obviously. Does he make a pit stop on mars if its occupied at the time? Does he stop there at the same time or slightly sooner? What about bodies in outer space? He would have to go around and collect them. How hilarious would it be if we started launching bodies into outer space in various directions. If I die a billionaire my final wish will be that I be launched towards alpha centauri so i can get me some of that sweet, sweet alien probing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Furball Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I thought about that before. What if jesus returns while there are people in space working on the space station? Truly nonsense. -cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongWayAround Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I thought about that before. What if jesus returns while there are people in space working on the space station? Truly nonsense. -cat "Look, he is coming with the clouds," and "every eye will see him, even those who pierced him"; and all peoples on earth "will mourn because of him." So shall it be! Amen." Rev 1:7 There are clouds in the vacuum of outer space, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 All of the other revelations of the three main monotheistic religions have been rather geographically restricted. I'm not sure why Christ's return should be any different... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I thought about that before. What if jesus returns while there are people in space working on the space station? Truly nonsense. -cat "Look, he is coming with the clouds," and "every eye will see him, even those who pierced him"; and all peoples on earth "will mourn because of him." So shall it be! Amen." Rev 1:7 There are clouds in the vacuum of outer space, right? The Bible authors didn't even realize the Earth was round. The clouds end at low Earth orbit. Then what? How does Jesus move through the next 14 billion lightyears of space? If Jesus is going to teleport into another dimension then there is no reason to move through the clouds. Edit: The Bible authors thought the sky was a firmament. Heaven was only a few hundred feet above the mountains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rerics Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Wasn't it Carl Sagan who said something like if Jesus ascended at the speed of light, he still hasn't left the galaxy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Satire here obviously. Does he make a pit stop on mars if its occupied at the time? Does he stop there at the same time or slightly sooner? What about bodies in outer space? He would have to go around and collect them. How hilarious would it be if we started launching bodies into outer space in various directions. If I die a billionaire my final wish will be that I be launched towards alpha centauri so i can get me some of that sweet, sweet alien probing. This gave me a good laugh. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 He does nothing. Earth is tainted. That's why it's imperative that we get to Mars ASAP so that we can live as sin-free aliens. I also must insist that Mars remain fruit tree free (since we don't know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil looks like and we don't want to move it by mistake). mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 He does nothing. Earth is tainted. That's why it's imperative that we get to Mars ASAP so that we can live as sin-free aliens. I also must insist that Mars remain fruit tree free (since we don't know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil looks like and we don't want to move it by mistake). mwc You should write a heavily allegorical science fiction trilogy. Oh wait, that's already been done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 You should write a heavily allegorical science fiction trilogy. Oh wait, that's already been done. Allegorized science fiction? This is real life baby! mwc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Yeah, but what about all those humans that could be in suspended animation/stasis while they are traveling between the stars. Do you wake them up? Do they get breakfast before the big event? Can they even go to the bathroom first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 If we have people travelling at near the speed of light, then there are also simultaneity issues to consider. Perhaps no one knows the day or the hour because that will depend on where we are and how fast we are moving at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Aren't they already sending cremated remains into outer space? This does pose a problem, doesn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 He does nothing. Earth is tainted. That's why it's imperative that we get to Mars ASAP so that we can live as sin-free aliens. I also must insist that Mars remain fruit tree free (since we don't know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil looks like and we don't want to move it by mistake). mwc mwc, you won't be able to move the tree by mistake or otherwise. Last time I checked, there were a couple of angels with flaming swords blocking the entrance back into the Garden. Sure, they were put there so we can't get to the tree of eternal life, but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 He does nothing. Earth is tainted. That's why it's imperative that we get to Mars ASAP so that we can live as sin-free aliens. I also must insist that Mars remain fruit tree free (since we don't know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil looks like and we don't want to move it by mistake). mwc mwc, you won't be able to move the tree by mistake or otherwise. Last time I checked, there were a couple of angels with flaming swords blocking the entrance back into the Garden. Sure, they were put there so we can't get to the tree of eternal life, but still. You know I have never thought about that passage before. That means the author of Genesis believed that anybody could walk to the Garden of Eden. It's right there. If we couldn't walk there then there would be no reason for the angels with the swords. How did I ever believe this nonsense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 He does nothing. Earth is tainted. That's why it's imperative that we get to Mars ASAP so that we can live as sin-free aliens. I also must insist that Mars remain fruit tree free (since we don't know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil looks like and we don't want to move it by mistake). mwc mwc, you won't be able to move the tree by mistake or otherwise. Last time I checked, there were a couple of angels with flaming swords blocking the entrance back into the Garden. Sure, they were put there so we can't get to the tree of eternal life, but still. You know I have never thought about that passage before. That means the author of Genesis believed that anybody could walk to the Garden of Eden. It's right there. If we couldn't walk there then there would be no reason for the angels with the swords. How did I ever believe this nonsense? Answers in Genesis, mm, answers in Genesis. No humans could walk into Eden, because other than Adam and Eve, there weren't any other humans when they got kicked out. You should study your Scripture. Sinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Answers in Genesis, mm, answers in Genesis. No humans could walk into Eden, because other than Adam and Eve, there weren't any other humans when they got kicked out. You should study your Scripture. Sinner. Does the Answers In Genesis website tell us how tall a building has to be before God worries about it? I can't imagine the Tower of Babble being over 2700 feet tall. God doesn't seem to be doing anything about the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai. God didn't seem to mind when we put satellites into orbit, visited the moon or sent probes outside our star system. Must be because I'm a sinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Answers in Genesis, mm, answers in Genesis. No humans could walk into Eden, because other than Adam and Eve, there weren't any other humans when they got kicked out. You should study your Scripture. Sinner. Does the Answers In Genesis website tell us how tall a building has to be before God worries about it? I can't imagine the Tower of Babble being over 2700 feet tall. God doesn't seem to be doing anything about the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai. God didn't seem to mind when we put satellites into orbit, visited the moon or sent probes outside our star system. Must be because I'm a sinner. Answers in Genesis website? You have to visit the museum. I haven't done either one, but you should, because it's true. Make a pilgrimage. You know you want to. Sinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 mwc, you won't be able to move the tree by mistake or otherwise. Last time I checked, there were a couple of angels with flaming swords blocking the entrance back into the Garden. Sure, they were put there so we can't get to the tree of eternal life, but still. But then the flood came and you'd think that would have put the sword out. I also see no reason why, with us being such awful creatures, wouldn't just enter the garden by something other than the one entrance. I want to get at those damn trees and I have ladder technology...I'm going in. mwc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Does the Answers In Genesis website tell us how tall a building has to be before God worries about it? I can't imagine the Tower of Babble being over 2700 feet tall. God doesn't seem to be doing anything about the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai. God didn't seem to mind when we put satellites into orbit, visited the moon or sent probes outside our star system. Must be because I'm a sinner. It's less about height than cooperation (although estimates on towers like Babel could go as high as 30 or so stories based on foundations and such). The people were building a tower to heaven because they were cooperating. So god changed up their languages and then he must have moved heaven to avoid any further problems. The story basically says that god came down, sees the people working together, concedes they could do anything they have a mind to do, and throws a wrench in the works so that can't happen. The very idea that this god wants cooperation is not supportable. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Does the Answers In Genesis website tell us how tall a building has to be before God worries about it? I can't imagine the Tower of Babble being over 2700 feet tall. God doesn't seem to be doing anything about the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai. God didn't seem to mind when we put satellites into orbit, visited the moon or sent probes outside our star system. Must be because I'm a sinner. It's less about height than cooperation (although estimates on towers like Babel could go as high as 30 or so stories based on foundations and such). The people were building a tower to heaven because they were cooperating. So god changed up their languages and then he must have moved heaven to avoid any further problems. The story basically says that god came down, sees the people working together, concedes they could do anything they have a mind to do, and throws a wrench in the works so that can't happen. The very idea that this god wants cooperation is not supportable. mwc Yes, of course. It was the cooperation that scared God. If we all spoke one language and worked together we might have achieved world peace. God could not allow that. Why would we need God if we worked together and didn't wage war? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 mwc, you won't be able to move the tree by mistake or otherwise. Last time I checked, there were a couple of angels with flaming swords blocking the entrance back into the Garden. Sure, they were put there so we can't get to the tree of eternal life, but still. But then the flood came and you'd think that would have put the sword out. I also see no reason why, with us being such awful creatures, wouldn't just enter the garden by something other than the one entrance. I want to get at those damn trees and I have ladder technology...I'm going in. mwc You guys crack me up. (Which I needed very, very much as I wait for my appointment with a dental specialist!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 But then the flood came and you'd think that would have put the sword out. Oddly enough, when I was a kid I asked my parents what happened to those angels, and their response was eerily similar to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Oddly enough, when I was a kid I asked my parents what happened to those angels, and their response was eerily similar to this. I was essentially taught that the flood buried the garden, hiding all traces of it from mankind, so there was no need to guard it any longer. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Oddly enough, when I was a kid I asked my parents what happened to those angels, and their response was eerily similar to this. I was essentially taught that the flood buried the garden, hiding all traces of it from mankind, so there was no need to guard it any longer. mwc Maybe we've been looking at this the wrong way around then. The real question we should be asking is "What if Jesus returns after we've found the Tree of Life at the bottom of the ocean?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts