rach Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Maroon 5's music video "Like Animals" makes me think upon our great Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.....I would love to see it re-done starring our favorite freaky boy, Jesus (hallelujah!). The freakish and disgusting image of Adam Levine (forgive me if I got the name wrong) covered in blood and dancing provocatively with slabs of meat, as he fantasizes about a sadistic and bloody love affair with a pretty girl. This is the Jesus I know. This is the guy I met when I went looking for God inside the holy Bible. This is the sick Jesus I want so badly for my a-mum to know, so that her lifelong idolization of a "gentle perfect lamb-man" called Jesus could finally be over with. Please don't think I'm knocking the music video. It's unique and it's intriguing, and it obviously intended to creep us out, which it does indeed. Now for our best friend, blood soaked Jesus, skin sagging off upon the cross, living slab of meat, because....why? Oh that's right. Because he's showing us what love looks like. It looks like a slab of meat. Thank you Jesus, because before I had my holy encounter with you, I thought love looked like two old people holding hands, and two young lovers kissing, and a girl that gently holds a puppy, and a fireman that climbs up and not down on 9/11. I didn't realize that love looks like a bloody slab of meat. Oh and by the way ladies, for your viewing pleasure, he's naked on that cross (or mostly naked). Following Dad's orders to a T("impress 'em with that dick, son, they'll be plenty of ladies there to watch, even your own mum, who I quite fancy"). What difference does it make if he's dancing in blood on the cross or dancing in blood through a slaughterhouse? A cross is a slaughterhouse. "Hey you! I love you so much! I've been watching you your whole life. I've even counted how many hairs on your head. 823,987!! All this blood proves my love! I just want you to love me too! In fact, I'm obsessed with you! In fact, this is all your fault. Someday I'll even give you the privilege to bleed with me, to make you more worthy of me!" "Come on laaaaaddddiiieess, feel and reciprocate my love for you! I fucking love you! Men, too, you hear that disciples? Everybody can feel the love. Come drink some of my beautiful blood, and remember if you love me, you'll bleed for me too." Sorry Jesus, you deranged clown, blood's not love! I'm nobody holy or special, but I'm right in the head, and that means making sure that nobody I love bleeds, not when I can stop it! If you think that blood belongs anywhere but in the inside of a person, you are one sick clown. But I wouldn't mind making you bleed since you love it so much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 ^^^That is awesomeness!!!!! Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seven77 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Heart of Jesus: Penis of Jesus (cut, mind you) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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