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Goodbye Jesus

Increased Recovery Of Mental Illness? How Many Have Experienced This?


Autumn2909

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I know many of us in here have a history/present experience of depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses.

 

How many of you, when you came out of religion, felt a decrease in mental illness symptoms when you didn't have to have following Jesus in the mix?

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Goodbye Jesus
Guest Furball

When i left christ-insanity my depression left me 100%. i would say my anxiety left me 100%. My ocd left 100%. With not having to live with an invisibly boogeyman holding a knife to my throat morning noon and night, i feel free of all mental illness symptoms. The religion of christ-insanity and its system of beliefs cause mental illness and mental breakdowns. The thought that someone was watching my every thought drove me crazy. Before jesus, i was mentally healthy, during my time with jesus, i developed mental illnesses, after jesus, my mental illnesses stopped all together and i am mentally healthy again and feeling like myself. Strange that all the calming and happy feelings that jesus promised, i didn't experience until i left jesus. -peace/cat

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Leaving christianity was really helpful with depression and anxiety, not that they are gone, but better.

 

Anxiety is better because I no longer feel like I have to maintain the illusion of being a "good christian" while sacrificing what's left of my self, depression has been all but replaced with a seething wrath and as of yet mostly hidden disdain towards religion, though it surfaces every now and again (depression that is). God never did make anything better, glad I finally eviscerated that figment of my imagination.

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God never did make anything better, glad I finally eviscerated that figment of my imagination.

That statement makes me sad, as i was told that god 'would' make things better. You would think that if god existed he would be there for you as he says he would. But he was never there for me. That was the hardest thing to deal with during my deconversion, other than the fear of hell, was the fact that god was supposed to be there for me and help me, and he never did. Your absolutely right outside, i too am glad to have finally gotten that imaginary tyrant out of my thinking. -peace/cat

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I haven't noticed a change in my specific illness as much as I've noticed a change in myself. Rather than praying to handle my symptoms, I have the personal responsibility and inclination to research the illnesses and the methods to control them. It's on me to own my illnesses, rather than let them own me. There's no passing the responsibility off to a higher power. I also don't concern myself with "being healed," since there's no god to heal me.

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I battled depression (and a few other things) my whole adult life as a Christian.

 

It went away when I became an atheist.  I never got professional help but in my opinion Christianity was causing my depression.

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God never did make anything better, glad I finally eviscerated that figment of my imagination.

That statement makes me sad, as i was told that god 'would' make things better. You would think that if god existed he would be there for you as he says he would. But he was never there for me. That was the hardest thing to deal with during my deconversion, other than the fear of hell, was the fact that god was supposed to be there for me and help me, and he never did. Your absolutely right outside, i too am glad to have finally gotten that imaginary tyrant out of my thinking. -peace/cat

 

 

I don't think of it as sad, just the reality of the matter, if a little grim. while I also got the "god will make everything better" spiel, it was a bit too late for me to be convinced by it, though I was aware of that idea before. My exit was rife with depression, anger and desperation, fear wasn't even on the map really, at least not significantly. In fact it got to the point of welcoming hell, just so I didn't have to lose myself... Though I'm still stumbling across damage, it's for the most part behind me.

 

It's kinda neat what can be done once you no longer fear the monster, so to speak.

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Guest Furball

I read the whole blog. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad you are feeling better now. I experienced a lot of the same obsessive fears you did. The freedom from religion and fear truly feels like heaven on earth. Thanks again Aiyana for sharing. -peace/cat

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I read the whole blog. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad you are feeling better now. I experienced a lot of the same obsessive fears you did. The freedom from religion and fear truly feels like heaven on earth. Thanks again Aiyana for sharing. -peace/cat

Thank you Cat :)

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I'm still as neurotic as when I was Christian, but in different ways.

 

Still just as pessimistic. When I was a Christian I'd put myself down as being a bad Christian. Now, I put myself down as being a bad person.

 

I'm less superstitious, less of a magical thinker. I no longer fear there's a demon hiding in my closet for example, but that fear has been replaced with a fear of people in general. I was afraid of people when I was a Christian, but now I'm even more afraid of people. This is something I chalk up to living in the information age and internet and media constantly barraging me with a daily list of all the world's atrocities for that day. I almost want to pluck out my eyes and puncture my eardrums so I don't have to see or hear anything anymore.

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*raises hand*

It's so much more peaceful when every little thing is not God/angels trying to speak to you, and when you're not feeling like someone hears your every thought, and when you're not worried about staying on a "path".

Like for many here, deconversion also meant a major identity crisis for me, but it's been more empowering to work through it than any crises I tried to give over to Jesus. Funny how that is.

 

I still need psychiatric help for my anxiety and some problems that are partly innate, partly from being parented badly, but this time round I can be so much more honest than before and say suggestibility and vulnerability to religion are things my doctors should know about as they've shaped my life. Previously my sky friend was my secret best friend when I was at a doctor. Not good to hide such a big thing, I see it now.

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My anxiety went through the floor. Now im depressed because im lonely. Which is new. I had to sever a lot of ties to live on my own away from it all. I like family social interaction. Dont get a whole lot of that away from home. And im single and not at all happy about that either. I just miss cuddling on the couch together watching tv

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Great question!

 

My anxiety and dysthymia is SO improved since leaving religion.  Night and day.

 

For me, my mood problems are/were linked to distorted thinking patterns due to my upbringing. When I was in the fold of religion I though I HAD to stay in the dysfunctional grip of my family. I thought it was my duty as a "good daughter." I thought it was what Jesus would have done. Leaving religion allowed me to allow myself to separate myself from toxic people and start reframing my world view without god and without the "shoulds and shouldn'ts" that come with religion.

 

To be fair, while in religion I really thought god was helping me. But it was a fleeting "good feeling"--after a nice sermon or worship group. I wasn't REALLY being helped by god (i.e. I was NOT getting to the root of my anxiety).

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My depression changed. I no longer feel the guilt or self-hatred I did when I was a Christian. But now certain life circumstances keep me from moving past my depression. The funny part is...it is partially regret over the consequences of past choices (which were influenced by religion) and partially because of current circumstances out of my control (which are influenced by religion). So even though I am free, Christianity is still negatively affecting my life and mental well being.

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As a Christian, I went through periods of intense panic attacks and eventually brief panic disorder from trying so hard to be a super-Christian. My first major panic attack happened while pulling an all-nighter in preparation to teach our church membership class. I wanted it to be amazing. I knew that my wife's esteem of me depended greatly on my reputation within our church community.

 

Later, I would experience behaviors consistent with scrupulosity (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrupulosity) - praying for forgiveness over and over again, afraid I didn't really mean it - that my mind was just speaking the words without feeling their full import. I would be afraid I forgot to ask forgiveness for every aspect of my lustful thoughts. Sometimes I would be *stuck* in the garage coming home from work unable to get out of the car until I got my prayer right - covering every aspect of my sin while sincerely meaning each word.

 

This has all gone away. I'm still anxious about things like heart disease ( which I do have in mild form). But all in all MUCH better.

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Wow didn't think there'd be so many replies so quick!

I still suffer anxiety and clinical depression and am still under medication and primary care mental health team.

But living life with increasingly decreased reference to God, my symptoms are so much more manageable. I'm not worrying about wether my professional psych help contradicts the gospel, or wether I should come off medication and trust God more (fortunately my vicar always was fairly pro professional medical treatment in terms of medicine as he believed that God could work through medication and prayer, but several other people in leadership told me that if I was having counsling/therapy it should be through a Christian organisation or Id have to carefully filter everything to align with the bible...)

I still have an illness which I have to manage with medication and occasionally psychological services, but my anxiety especially is so much less these days

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I'm still as neurotic as when I was Christian, but in different ways.

 

Still just as pessimistic. When I was a Christian I'd put myself down as being a bad Christian. Now, I put myself down as being a bad person.

 

I'm less superstitious, less of a magical thinker. I no longer fear there's a demon hiding in my closet for example, but that fear has been replaced with a fear of people in general. I was afraid of people when I was a Christian, but now I'm even more afraid of people. This is something I chalk up to living in the information age and internet and media constantly barraging me with a daily list of all the world's atrocities for that day. I almost want to pluck out my eyes and puncture my eardrums so I don't have to see or hear anything anymore.

 

I sometimes feel the same way.  I don't think our brains have been able to adapt to increased information as quickly as we would like.  200 years ago most of us never ventured further than a few miles from home in our lives.  We only knew a few hundred people, and while news of deaths could come unexpectedly and gruesomely, it came in small numbers.  Now we are bombarded with news of death and mayhem and injustice and suffering on a daily basis.  Many people seem to be able to cope with this, but for some of us it can lead to despair.  The only solutions I have found are medication and reducing the supply of information.  Take a break from information sources as often as you need to.  Important things you need to know will be passed on by others.   And if you're not already getting medical help for depression, you might want to look into that.  You don't need to suffer with this alone.

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I definitely was a lot better in terms of my depression. I still have my low days, but I think religion was one of the main factors that was bringing me down for a number of reasons.

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My depression and anxiety is much reduced since deconverting.  I still have episodes that come and go, but at least I am able to focus all of my energies on managing it well, instead of hoping a sky fairy would fix it.  As a xian I strongly believed he would fix it, because the bible promised all kinds of good things to those who believed.  When I realised it was all a hoax, I was angry.  I'm not so angry now... I channel it into rational opposition to the harm religion does.

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My mental health got worse after I left.  Although I rejected the super natural skydaddy bit, I still felt Christian teachings were full of wisdom and should be lived by.  So there I was, trying to live up to impossible Christian ideals by transcribing them to the day to day, without the delusion of having supernatural help.  They were some of the hardest times in my life.

 

I only got better after I rejected Christian ideology outright and started to follow Marlene Winell's idea of nurturing your inner child (maybe this is a general therapy thing). 

 

I would say the biggest helpful components in these ideas are:

 

1) Going for what you really want, rather than what you think you SHOULD want.  Easy to say but hard to do as I had been conditioned by Christianity to constantly ignore myself and my inner yearnings and follow the teachings of the church and bible.  Despite what I had been led to believe by Christianity, it turned out my inner yearnings weren't depraved (well 98% of them anyhow!), but totally acceptable in society and actually really healthy.

 

2) Reading the Bible and learning about Christianity through a critical historical perspective.  This totally debunked its authority and helped me get my mind around Christian concepts that had troubled me.  I also discovered that a lot of what I thought was gospel / important were based on the arguments made by people through time, often fixed through political power and about as far away from supernaturally inspired divine revelation as you can get.  

 

I also found it important to look after the source of my wellbeing ie. my body by eating and sleeping well and getting regular exercise.  Most of this is obvious (don't eat fried and processed foods, exercise moderately etc)... what wasn't obvious was how much difference taking 1000mg + of Omega 3 made to my mood.  If you aren't taking them, try some capsules for a few days and see if it helps.

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My depression changed. I no longer feel the guilt or self-hatred I did when I was a Christian. But now certain life circumstances keep me from moving past my depression. The funny part is...it is partially regret over the consequences of past choices (which were influenced by religion) and partially because of current circumstances out of my control (which are influenced by religion). So even though I am free, Christianity is still negatively affecting my life and mental well being.

What you said... Still suffering the effects of bad decisions due to religious beliefs
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I would say I am a lot healthier now that I don't have to carry around so much guilt. I'm glad I don't have to go down those continual spirals of self hatred when I committed a "sin" that is really harmless. Not having to live by all the contradictory rules of religion makes me feel more sane and comfortable in my humanness.

 

I still have things in my life that make me feel depressed, and a lot of reasons I'm better than I was when I was younger are because I got myself out of a bad situation and went to therapy. Religion was only a piece of the puzzle in my mental struggles, but I feel so much more free without it, and that allows me more room for happiness and acceptance of myself. 

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I still feel a lot of anxiety and depression. It has lessened though. I think I have anxiety and depression in my genes.

 

Feeling like there was some invisibly all powerful entity that could easily solve my problems but refused to added to the anxiety. Feeling like maybe god was causing bad things to happen as a way to put me through some pointless earth trials was causing anxiety. Wondering about if Satan is trying to lure me into traps added to my anxiety.

 

I don't see how some people claim putting their faith in god took away their fears and anxieties. I felt like I was always worried about that some supernatural force might be plotting to screw up my plans. Either Satan was going to screw up my plans because he hates me or just because he likes chaos. Or else god was plotting to screw up my plans because I need to learn humility or suffering or whatever. Any success I had wasn't my own doing, but god allowing me to succeed and blessing me with capability.

 

There was also this feeling that God wants you to not have earthly success because you need to be focused on heaven. So the more crappy your earthly experience is the more you'll look forward to going to heaven. This actually caused me to worry about when my life is going too good. "Why has god forgotten to smite me lately? Something bad must be lurking around the corner..."

 

I do think my physical health has improved quite a lot since I quit believing. Before I neglected my diet and exercise because I felt like my earthly body was something to use temporarily and then discard because I would receive a new immortal body in heaven. Now that it is clear this is the only body I'll ever have and when it dies that's the end of me, I feel like taking care of it better. People that haven't seen me in years say they didn't even recognize me as the same person because I look so much better now. lol

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Me…. I'm MUCH better now. The depression and (panic attacks) anxiety aren't a tenth as bad as they used to be… another thing, I'm no longer codependent (yay me!) either. My self-esteem has risen dramatically… to the point where I actually believe in myself, and I'm far less, if not completely, non-superstitious.

 

So let's see: Happier, less neurotic, less anxious and less of a doormat, and less gullible. I'm still ADD, but I'm not depressed about it anymore and I don't beat myself up about it.

 

:D  

 

I am utterly convinced that religion is a big factor in mental illness, or at the very least it exacerbates it, in the case of biochemical imbalances.

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