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Goodbye Jesus

Avoiding Talking About Problems With Xian Parents


GoldenWolf

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A little while back, I was really stressed and anxious because of school. My parents were talking to me, trying to calm me down and I felt the sudden tug of dread in my heart as I knew what was coming. 

 

Prayer. 

 

This made me a little more upset than I already was, since I knew that this prayer wouldn't help me in any way and I felt hopeless because of it. 

 

I recently started to have on and off days where I'm either really depressed or really anxious or a mix of the two. My parents have always told me that I can talk to them about these things when I need to, but since the last incident, I don't feel comfortable about telling them about my issues.

 

I kind of want to suggest going back to a psychiatrist/counsellor/GP but I know my mum is probably going to try and find a xian one, or just put me back with my old xian counsellor, which would restrict me from talking about a fair few things like my sexuality. 

 

It's all very frustrating, especially when I have school on top of this to deal with. 

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Are they against you seeing a secular councillor?  Maybe you can look one up and suggest / insist on one.

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Try to look your own up on the down low and kinda just slip the name and number to them. Print a big list of councilors out but don't tell your parents you searched them out that way. I totally understand the "one way" talks of Christian parents.

 

Try to find non religious ones.

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Are there any non-Christian family members in whom you can confide?  How far off are you from being in a position to choose your own cousellor regardless of your parents?  Indeed - do you have a secular G.P. who could refer you?

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Try looking up a secular counselor and ask if you can see that counselor specifically.

 

There are ways to deal with stress without a counselor. You could try looking through some books from the self help section at the library or a bookstore. I'm saying this because I have not had much luck with counselors and therapists.

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Does your school have a counselor?  I'd probably start there.  When I was your age I dealt with depression, social isolation, and an inability to complete my class workload.  Our high school (secondary school) counselor gave me a list of resources and referred me to the right therapist.  She also did what she could when I went to her office during school hours. 

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I'm in my mid 30s and I still have this conversation with my dad. He thinks prayer is the answer to everything and tries to make it seem like I have problems because I haven't prayed hard enough.

 

I hope you can get in to see a secular therapist. I agree with finding one on your own and offering your parents the name. You may even want to call a few who don't specify xtian or secular anywhere (like in an online profile) and ask...and even mention your concerns. Then present that name. And if your parents check online they won't find obvious info about the therapist being secular, and if the therapist has a heads up that religion is part of the issue you want to cover in therapy, might be prepared if one of your parents calls to check up on them.

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I don't know if this is any help, but if you need to discuss problems about school, I am happy for you to PM me.

 

I'm not your parents, but I am Australian and my daughters are now 21 and 25, so I have seen a bit about the end years of school. My daughters didn't really fit the mould, so we had to think through education in a different way.

 

Am I right in thinking that this is Year 12? Unless you are trying to get in to law or medicine, you will find just about any other subject can be available through Open University. You don't need an ATAR and there is no age restriction on starting Open uni. My younger daughter started Applied Science at RMIT at the age of 16 instead of doing year 11 and 12.

 

www.open.edu.au

 

 

If you really want to go to the face-to-face uni down the street, after a year (or even just one semester) the local uni will take you even without matriculation.

 

I'm sure there are other things that are worrying you, but not getting a high enough ATAR is easy to get around.

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