Christians Don't Even Help Themselves Out

[NoOne]

EXHIBIT A:

Doctor: *finds the cure to cancer through hard work, studying medicine, and oncology*

Christian: Oh something really good happened? Praise God, He had everything to do with this!

...

Friend: Hey did you watch the news? A daycare center full of young children and babies was bombed and there are no survivors.

Christian: Oh something really bad happened? Well, God had nothing to do with this! It's all man's fault, he has free will!

 

EXHIBIT B:

Protestant Christianity-if you believe in God, that's all it takes to get into heaven.

Catholicism-if you believe in God AND do additional work, such as receiving the sacraments, you'll go to heaven. You can't just do one.

Mormonism-same as Catholicism with some differences?

Calvinism-your faith or good deeds don't matter. If God didn't choose you, you're going to hell.

 

How come the branches within the same religion that follow the same deity don't even work together?

 

EXHIBIT C:

There's a Orthodox Jewish man who is a very good person. He is faithful to his wife and loves his kids. He respects people who aren't Jewish and is fine with other Jews who may disagree with him. He has his own personal beliefs are important to him, but he can play Devil's Advocate in order to understand other people and their views. He participates in blood drives and helps in his town's soup kitchen. He wants the world to be a better place. Then there's a Christian man who beats his wife and kids as well as being adulterous. He hates anyone who isn't a Christian and hates Christians who don't believe the same thing he does. It's his way or the highway, he's very selfish. He doesn't help his community or the world in any way and is overall just a bad person.

Christians, who is the better person who deserves any good that may come to him in the future? We can all agree that it's the Jew, if you say the Christian then your morality is very off.

Well according to the Bible, the Jew is going to burn in hell while the Christian gets eternal paradise.

 

EXBIHIT D:

There are Christian feminists although the Bible has many passages that are, or can be interpreted as, misogynistic; many say that women can't speak in church or the presence of a man...ironic considering how feminists try to empower women. There are LGBTQ+ Christians although homosexuality in an abomination and a ticket to hell in the Bible. There are black Christians although the Bible condoned slavery and told slaves to respect their masters. The Bible has stories contains talking snakes, bushes, and donkeys. It also supports the scientifically-incorrect belief that the Earth is only 6,000 years old. There are a lot of Christians who believes in women's rights, gay rights, and equality for black people. They also don't believe that animals can talk. Along with that, more Christians are accepting the idea of evolution (with God). Guys, it's not a two-way street! You can't cherry-puck your holy book! If you're going to base your life off it, you need to take all of it. Bigotry and bullshit included

 

What can be concluded? Christians make the job way too easy for us.

And if I sound really condescending, sorry not sorry.

[NoOne]

SHIT WRONG FORUM. THIS WAS MEANT TO GO INTO THE FREAKING LIONS DEN!!!!

[florduh]

Moved it for ya, DG.

[mymistake]

Christianity is a cluster of fallacies.

 

You start off by assuming it is true.  Have child-like faith.  Don't ask the wrong kind of questions.  Don't put God to the test.  Trust God to help you with your doubts.

 

Then you study the Bible so that you can explain away or rationalize every apparent contradiction or write it off as a mystery to test your faith.

 

Is there anything that wouldn't seem true if you went that far with it?

[Thurisaz]

Good post DG... just have one small thing to point out where I think you're not sufficiently specific

 

You wrote:

 

[...] Guys, it's not a two-way street! You can't cherry-pick your holy book! If you're going to base your life off it, you need to take all of it. Bigotry and bullshit included

 

 

That is certainly true for those who want to see da wholly babble as the literal word of gawd, literally true from beginning to end, without any exceptions. There are those "lukewarm" ones though, for whom the book is a metaphorical but not literal guide to life. Methinks for them the problem you point out is irrelevant (to balance out that advantage, it also means that they alone are responsible for interpreting their scripture in an ethical way... some succeed at it, some don't).

 

But then, of course, those people also tend to be very much less asshole-ish than the morontheists - I suppose that, when in doubt, you're not aiming at them as much as you are at the willfully brainfucked

[NoOne]

Moved it for ya, DG.

Thank you so much ❤️ Love ya!!!

[NoOne]

Good post DG... just have one small thing to point out where I think you're not sufficiently specific

 

You wrote:

 

 

 

[...] Guys, it's not a two-way street! You can't cherry-pick your holy book! If you're going to base your life off it, you need to take all of it. Bigotry and bullshit included

 

 

That is certainly true for those who want to see da wholly babble as the literal word of gawd, literally true from beginning to end, without any exceptions. There are those "lukewarm" ones though, for whom the book is a metaphorical but not literal guide to life. Methinks for them the problem you point out is irrelevant (to balance out that advantage, it also means that they alone are responsible for interpreting their scripture in an ethical way... some succeed at it, some don't).

 

But then, of course, those people also tend to be very much less asshole-ish than the morontheists - I suppose that, when in doubt, you're not aiming at them as much as you are at the willfully brainfucked

Wow I made so many spelling and grammar mistakes lol.

I see what you're saying and I'm aiming at most of the Christians who come here and try to damn us to hell. The lukewarm ones confuse me a bit, but I'm totally cool with them. It's sad that there's not more of them.

[Thurisaz]

I'd offer to send you a load of my fellow German mainstream christians, they are totally lukewarm for US standards... but I'm afraid someone will "pay us back" by sending us a load of US morontheists

[GoldenWolf]

EXBIHIT D:

There are Christian feminists although the Bible has many passages that are, or can be interpreted as, misogynistic; many say that women can't speak in church or the presence of a man...ironic considering how feminists try to empower women. There are LGBTQ+ Christians although homosexuality in an abomination and a ticket to hell in the Bible.

To add onto the misogynistic comments in the Bible, there are also verses where the Bible claims women on their period are "unclean" and a man can't approach or have sex with a women on her period. Also people who touch a woman on her period are also unclean and anything else she touches. (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/menstruation.html)

 

Which is kind of ridiculous, because if God is so against women on their periods, then why the fuck did he make us have them in the first place?

 

I was a Christian feminist and LGBT supporter for a while (I say "Christian" because around that time I disagreed with a lot of things the Bible said, and I only believed in God so..), but I think being a feminist and LGBT supporter (plus being bisexual) is what made me reconsider my beliefs. So thank fuck for that.

[NoOne]

 

EXBIHIT D:

There are Christian feminists although the Bible has many passages that are, or can be interpreted as, misogynistic; many say that women can't speak in church or the presence of a man...ironic considering how feminists try to empower women. There are LGBTQ+ Christians although homosexuality in an abomination and a ticket to hell in the Bible.

 

To add onto the misogynistic comments in the Bible, there are also verses where the Bible claims women on their period are "unclean" and a man can't approach or have sex with a women on her period. Also people who touch a woman on her period are also unclean and anything else she touches. (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/menstruation.html)

 

Which is kind of ridiculous, because if God is so against women on their periods, then why the fuck did he make us have them in the first place?

 

I was a Christian feminist and LGBT supporter for a while (I say "Christian" because around that time I disagreed with a lot of things the Bible said, and I only believed in God so..), but I think being a feminist and LGBT supporter (plus being bisexual) is what made me reconsider my beliefs. So thank fuck for that.

This is like the story of my life right here lol. Go girl ❤️

[NoOne]

I'd offer to send you a load of my fellow German mainstream christians, they are totally lukewarm for US standards... but I'm afraid someone will "pay us back" by sending us a load of US morontheists

Lol, it's not so bad. I mean, we just have Rick Santorum and the Westboro Baptist Church X'D

[Thurisaz]

Hee hee

 

Hmmm I wonder... as far as I've read the WBC would've been sunk long ago already if they hadn't had so many lawyers in their brainfucked coven. Perhaps, if they came over here, they'd find that the law works differently here... aaaah the fantasies...

[Guest Furball]

 

Good post DG... just have one small thing to point out where I think you're not sufficiently specific

 

You wrote:

 

 

[...] Guys, it's not a two-way street! You can't cherry-pick your holy book! If you're going to base your life off it, you need to take all of it. Bigotry and bullshit included

 

That is certainly true for those who want to see da wholly babble as the literal word of gawd, literally true from beginning to end, without any exceptions. There are those "lukewarm" ones though, for whom the book is a metaphorical but not literal guide to life. Methinks for them the problem you point out is irrelevant (to balance out that advantage, it also means that they alone are responsible for interpreting their scripture in an ethical way... some succeed at it, some don't).

 

But then, of course, those people also tend to be very much less asshole-ish than the morontheists - I suppose that, when in doubt, you're not aiming at them as much as you are at the willfully brainfucked

Wow I made so many spelling and grammar mistakes lol.

I see what you're saying and I'm aiming at most of the Christians who come here and try to damn us to hell. The lukewarm ones confuse me a bit, but I'm totally cool with them. It's sad that there's not more of them.

 

Jesus may hate the lukewarm christians, but i actually have no problem with them . They usually keep it in church or at home, and usually to themselves. It is the hard core myth freaks who shove it down our throats, or the cowards who REFUSE to grow up and take an honest look at the evidence themselves that piss me off. I see a fiction pusher with a 'turn or burn' t-shirt on and steam comes flying out of my ears. Every single person i have ever met that truly read/studied/actually paid attention to what the bible REALLY says, either deconverted after doing so, or decided to not convert after having done so. Strange stuff man. 

[Guest Furball]

I'd offer to send you a load of my fellow German mainstream christians, they are totally lukewarm for US standards... but I'm afraid someone will "pay us back" by sending us a load of US morontheists

Nah, we'll just send you pat robertson. Enjoy!

 

 

 

[Thurisaz]

Declaration of war... accepted.

 

 

[NoOne]

 

 

Good post DG... just have one small thing to point out where I think you're not sufficiently specific

 

You wrote:

 

 

[...] Guys, it's not a two-way street! You can't cherry-pick your holy book! If you're going to base your life off it, you need to take all of it. Bigotry and bullshit included

 

 

 

That is certainly true for those who want to see da wholly babble as the literal word of gawd, literally true from beginning to end, without any exceptions. There are those "lukewarm" ones though, for whom the book is a metaphorical but not literal guide to life. Methinks for them the problem you point out is irrelevant (to balance out that advantage, it also means that they alone are responsible for interpreting their scripture in an ethical way... some succeed at it, some don't).

 

But then, of course, those people also tend to be very much less asshole-ish than the morontheists - I suppose that, when in doubt, you're not aiming at them as much as you are at the willfully brainfucked

Wow I made so many spelling and grammar mistakes lol.

I see what you're saying and I'm aiming at most of the Christians who come here and try to damn us to hell. The lukewarm ones confuse me a bit, but I'm totally cool with them. It's sad that there's not more of them.

Jesus may hate the lukewarm christians, but i actually have no problem with them . They usually keep it in church or at home, and usually to themselves. It is the hard core myth freaks who shove it down our throats, or the cowards who REFUSE to grow up and take an honest look at the evidence themselves that piss me off. I see a fiction pusher with a 'turn or burn' t-shirt on and steam comes flying out of my ears. Every single person i have ever met that truly read/studied/actually paid attention to what the bible REALLY says, either deconverted after doing so, or decided to not convert after having done so. Strange stuff man.

I wonder who the "true" Christians hate more. The lukewarm Christians or the ex-Christians. Probably the latter because we call them out more and make fun of them XD

[NoOne]

Declaration of war... accepted.

 

 

You can take all the crazy Republicans too, that would really be awesome.

[Guest Furball]

Declaration of war... accepted.

 

 

Prays for protection against almighty Thurisaz

 

 

 

[Thurisaz]

"A furore Normannorum libera nos domine!"?

 

(Genuine morontheist prayer from the age of the Viking raids... literally means "deliver us oh lawd from the fury of the Northmen")

 

That said... aaaah fuck it, send them all over. I'll take the chance to have so many... specimens... to practice the Blood Eagle on

[StJeffTheIncomprehensible]

 

Declaration of war... accepted.

 

 

Prays for protection against almighty Thurisaz

 

 

 

 

 

Is he praying, or pooping? (Hey Cat, good to see you back around again!)

[Jeff]

delete

[Guest Furball]

delete

I am always curious as to what people typed out then had to delete. Like was it the location to jimmy hoffa's body or who really shot jfk? Kidding on that last part, but yeah , i wonder what is so bad that people changed their mind. Either way, love you jeff, keep rockin'! -Scott (Cat)

[Jeff]

Usually it's just something I've typed that's too stupid for me to fix.

Sometimes it's gotta just go away

[Guest Furball]

Usually it's just something I've typed that's too stupid for me to fix.

Sometimes it's gotta just go away

Got it. Enjoy your sabbath in South Carolina. They must pass out gospel tracts like candy down there.

[StJeffTheIncomprehensible]

Usually it's just something I've typed that's too stupid for me to fix.

Sometimes it's gotta just go away

Jeff, it came in my email before you censored it and I thought it was pretty funny. So I'm giving your "delete" post an up vote to honor its faded memory.