Becks Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 I'm sure it's a symptom of depression but the pleasures in life all seem trivial. I wake up in the morning with a sigh. Oh. I'm still here. Better get up and make coffee and go to work to the job I don't like but can't leave because they pay me too much. I can't replace the income doing something I might like better. Then I come home and watch the clock till its time for my meds then I go to bed. Life kind of sucks. I'm know I'm being very selfish and ungrateful. I wish I could pull out of this slump. I am impatient. At least when a Christian I had heaven to look forward to when the tedium of this life would get to me. Now it's just knowing one tedious day I'll blank out and that's it. Wow I sound pathetic!!! Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Yep - that does sound like good ol' depression Becks. But that doesn't mean you're chronically depressed. Give yourself some slack. You've just gone through one of the most traumatic events of your life - it's bound to depress you a bit. Of course, you should seek professional help if you think this is more than a temporary set back. I'm also stuck in a job that pays me way too much to switch to something else - but you know what? Ever since I deconverted I've stopped caring about work so much. Sure! I do try to deliver quality for my clients but I don't truly CARE anymore. Work is a necessary evil for me, as it pays me enough to do whatever I want on weekends and holidays. When I was a xtian I constantly worried about my "purpose" and possibly quitting my job and working as a missionary or something. Now that I'm done with that BS, I'm enjoying all the money I make and living it up every spare moment that I have! Life is GRAND when you have money to enjoy it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becks Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 I'm also stuck in a job that pays me way too much to switch to something else - but you know what? Ever since I deconverted I've stopped caring about work so much. Sure! I do try to deliver quality for my clients but I don't truly CARE anymore. Work is a necessary evil for me, as it pays me enough to do whatever I want on weekends and holidays. When I was a xtian I constantly worried about my "purpose" and possibly quitting my job and working as a missionary or something. Now that I'm done with that BS, I'm enjoying all the money I make and living it up every spare moment that I have! Life is GRAND when you have money to enjoy it! perfect sentiments. I now sit here and think who gives a f*ck anyway! Just trying to keep my head above water so I can keep this damn job. Omg I wanted to be a missionary so bad, I went to a global teen missions for a summer and was quite disillusioned by the experience. It was good to get out and get a different perspective of life tho. The next thing I wanted so bad was to be a pastors wife. How ideal!!! GROSS. (This was all 30 years ago). Thanks for your support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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