PurpleStarGirl Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ah...I have no children of my own so I can't answer to spanking anyone when I was Christian. However, I got spanked with whatever my father had on hand...wooden spoon, belt to name a few. Having welts and small purplish pinpricks on my butt weren't fun. His reasoning for the spanking was "Spare the rod, spoil the child". I don't see where in the Bible other than that particular verse that says you must punish your children with a rod if they disobey you and I don't even think that verse is read correctly for that. I see "Spare the rod, spoil the child" as not using violent means to correct misbehavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingongod Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Okay, I'm gonna start the shit storm. If you knowingly take a child aside and strike them, you are a child abuser, plain and simple. This is not the quick swat on the hand or butt to prevent injury or avoid an emergency, this is a willing repeated strikes to any part of the body. And no, they don't all "turn out alright", and that sort of statement is merely justifying an abusive and harmful practice. You obviously have no idea what kind of psychological toll hitting a child has on them. My apologies for the rant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Okay, I'm gonna start the shit storm. If you knowingly take a child aside and strike them, you are a child abuser, plain and simple. This is not the quick swat on the hand or butt to prevent injury or avoid an emergency, this is a willing repeated strikes to any part of the body. And no, they don't all "turn out alright", and that sort of statement is merely justifying an abusive and harmful practice. You obviously have no idea what kind of psychological toll hitting a child has on them. My apologies for the rant. Now, now, now!!! No dissenting comments here! We are here to encourage ex-christians! That means, if ex-christians are here talking about hitting their kids, in order to go along with the purpose of this site, you must encourage these people to do so! Anything else and you're going against the primary objective here! Keep in mind, just about any time you run against the grain here, somebody is going to jump in and accuse you of not following the board's "rules". So, if you are an ex-christian that thinks hitting your kids is wrong regardless of the situation, and you are outnumbered by the ex-christians that justify said behavior/abuse -- anything said against the mob-rule is not "encouraging". Strange, I know... But once you get used to it, you can mostly sit back and watch the madness unfold. Not much unlike hovering around a Christian forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Okay, I'm gonna start the shit storm. If you knowingly take a child aside and strike them, you are a child abuser, plain and simple. This is not the quick swat on the hand or butt to prevent injury or avoid an emergency, this is a willing repeated strikes to any part of the body. And no, they don't all "turn out alright", and that sort of statement is merely justifying an abusive and harmful practice. You obviously have no idea what kind of psychological toll hitting a child has on them. My apologies for the rant. Not a shit storm but you do contradict yourself. All hitting is abuse. But not quick swats on the butt or hand. So not all hitting is abuse. Sounds like you didn't think it all the way. I get all kinds of crapy judgement. Mostly it is from the people who think I don't spank enough. Just about anybody who breaths thinks he can make a snap judgement about how I raise kids he has never met. Why not start with the fact that it is complicated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becks Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 It seems to me (and I may be wrong) that the main purpose of this site is to offer support and encouragement to those leaving religion and trying to make a positive change in their life. Having said that, I think some of you are being rather condescending. Obviously the OP is trying to make an improvement, otherwise she wouldn't have put herself out there. If you think spanking is wrong, and that children act out only as a result of indifferent parenting, that's your opinion. All children are unique and respond to different methods of discipline. You do not know Becky's situation, so unless you have something more helpful to add than "maybe you're just a bad parent", then please, keep your derision to yourself. In my personal experience, parenting is the toughest job I've ever had, and it only gets more difficult with multiple children. I read through all the posts and this is the one that echoes my thoughts. I have four children born within 6 years of each other and hell yes I spanked them. But I also learned that each child was an individual and spanking didn't work for all of them. I tried different methods and found what seemed to be the best way to get the point across to each one. The point being their behavior was harmful to themselves or others and tried to never show my anger. I do remember losing my senses one day when they were all screaming. I stood in the middle of the room and told them I could out scream them any day so stop it! I proceeded to show them. Total silence!!! I really don't remember that happening again 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waitingongod Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Okay, I'm gonna start the shit storm. If you knowingly take a child aside and strike them, you are a child abuser, plain and simple. This is not the quick swat on the hand or butt to prevent injury or avoid an emergency, this is a willing repeated strikes to any part of the body. And no, they don't all "turn out alright", and that sort of statement is merely justifying an abusive and harmful practice. You obviously have no idea what kind of psychological toll hitting a child has on them. My apologies for the rant. Not a shit storm but you do contradict yourself. All hitting is abuse. But not quick swats on the butt or hand. So not all hitting is abuse. Sounds like you didn't think it all the way. I get all kinds of crapy judgement. Mostly it is from the people who think I don't spank enough. Just about anybody who breaths thinks he can make a snap judgement about how I raise kids he has never met. Why not start with the fact that it is complicated? I actually made it quite clear what I was referring to, but let me give an example. My daughter is reaching for the stove, which has a hot burner, smacking her hand out of the way to prevent her from being burnt is not abuse. Now, if I tell her that if she doesn't do what I say I'm going to take you aside and hit your repeatedly as punishment, that's abuse. Two completely different things. It is never complicated that raising children should never ever involve abuse. Children are difficult, difficult beings to understand and nurture, but regular beatings should never be the tool of choice. Children who are hit learn fear, not love, not respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I actually made it quite clear what I was referring to . . . You are talking in absolutes and the world is more complicated than that. It is never complicated that raising children should never ever involve abuse. Except that people can't agree about what exactly is or isn't abuse and the whole thing is subjective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConscientiousObjector Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Ok, Fweethawt, it is obvious that you are looking for a fight, and this isn't the first time I've noticed you doing that (I've only been using this site for about three weeks, and when I first came here I noticed you picking a petty fight with another individual). So sorry to disappoint you, but I have better things to do with my "fwee" time. Congrats on having the mental acuity to realize that my previous comment was directed specifically at you. However, you still need to brush up on your reading comprehension. I never said, "do not dissent, just encourage." The OP asked for advice on parenting and discipline, not if you think spanking is abusive. So, I say again, stick to the subject. If you have advice to offer, by all means, enlighten us. Otherwise, find a discussion that you can actually contribute something to. P.S. I have a five-year-old and two-year-old twins. In all that time, I have only spanked my oldest TWICE. The first time was when he was three, because he tried to quiet his infant brother by holding a pillow over his face. (In case you are wondering where I was, I was being a deadbeat mother, washing dishes so I could make my family dinner. My parenting does suck, thanks for your shrewd insight.) The second time was when he was four, he nearly ran right into a busy street, and I only spanked him after repeated warnings. I didn't spank hard at all, just a few light smacks on his clothed bottom to drive home the fact that these behaviors cannot be tolerated. He never did it again, and I've never had to take my kids to the ER. So feel "fwee" to insult me and call me a sucky parent. Given a choice between a dead child or a light spanking, I will choose spanking without a second thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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