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Goodbye Jesus

Please Help Me Get Jesus Out Of My Head


Becks

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Seriously I haven't thought much about him until I joined this site, but now I'm slightly haunted by the brainwashing that I've done something terribly wrong! I'm not afraid of the bible god or hell, just apparently had a relationship with a very powerful person in my head and I was totally convinced it was real for most of my life.

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Goodbye Jesus

One thing that helps is that other religions produce the same effects in the people who were indoctrinated into them.  It's a human trait.  Take courage from the millions of young people who see right away that the cult is a load of shit!

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Try thinking about and understanding the true identity of the powerful person in your head with whom you had a relationship. It was not Jesus. It was the brainwashing that put that false identity on it. It was, of course, yourself all along. You are that powerful person. So don't try to get rid of it. Rather, embrace it for who it really is and get to know yourself all the better.

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Jesus is a pretty good imaginary male figure to lean on.

Never leaves (supposedly). Never angry. Never selfish except for wanting to cuddle emotionally. Likes kids and sad people.

Except he sometimes shows up at awkward times and other times just leaves you to deal with shit without telling you that you're on your own.

Not such a great friend after all possibly.

I know this is tough for you. :/

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I get that a lot.  Specifically when I would remember that I did anything, anything at all, this would be painful

 

to me.  It didn't need to be something bad or wicked either.  That whole sin thing had me brainwashed.  The

 

flashbacks were quite bad at one point.  I used self talk to combat it.  First I tried "I have the right to remember

 

my life.  It's my life and I am going to remember it."  Later on when I understood the problem better I realized

 

it was social.  I went with "None of those people care about that stuff anymore."   Finally I learned to stop the

 

flashbacks with "I do not care what those people think".  Christianity puts needless guilt on us.

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The guilt and shame of our indoctrination was powerful. It takes time to overcome. I still find myself defensively speaking in tongues, but I'm getting much faster at stopping it. I need to simply face whatever is happening, if it is embarrassing then recognize it as such and not try to magic it away. We were taught that he was always there watching and listening, but it only turned out to be imagination. I think the human mind creates a virtual parent that reminds us of things we were taught. Then we imagine that virtual parent is God talking to us. It never was, but it doesn't mind playing that role.

 

Overcoming that programming takes time, and reminding yourself of the facts of why we decided it wasn't true. Essentially, we have to re-program ourselves to see the harm in what we were taught and so remove the hooks it has into our emotions.

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I think of it as an actual physical connection in your brain that has to be rewired, and that takes time. Coming on this site might have picked at that synapse (or whatever it is), that maybe you had been trying to avoid. But now it's stimulated, and needs to be addressed. You are working through it, believe it or not, and it's painful I know. It's kind of like stretching a sore muscle or going through physical therapy: it hurts like mad, but eventually the old acid buildup in your muscles breaks free or the therapy breaks through scar tissue or strengthens other muscles (or whatever it is that is going on there) -- and the original pain is gone or diminished or worked around or otherwise made better. Your brain will get there too. Take heart, it will get better.

 

A while back, someone here once compared religion in the brain to the layers of an onion. It took years of indoctrination to build up those layers, and peeling away those layers of fear, shame, guilt, etc. is going to take time in the other direction.

 

You'll get there. Soldier on and take heart.

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What helped me get through the "bitter stage" (when you realize it's all b.s.) was researching the facts. Read about Jesus and learn who he really was and what he really thought about himself. A great way to start is and book by Bart Erhmann.

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What helped me get through the "bitter stage" (when you realize it's all b.s.) was researching the facts. Read about Jesus and learn who he really was and what he really thought about himself. A great way to start is and book by Bart Erhmann.

I totally second this, and also Renaissance Woman's post saying that it will take time.

 

It's a long project.

 

I found it wasn't enough to make a JUDGEMENT about Jesus / God / Christianity. Mid way through my deconversion, I thought it didn't make sense, that it was unhealthy, that I didn't like it, that it was BS. But this wasn't enough. Although the acceptance was gone, the AUTHORITY still remained, and I felt tortured, like I was fighting myself.

 

It's the AUTHORITY that needs to be stripped. Do this and you will free yourself of your own accord.

 

The historical critical approach taken by scholars such as Bart Enrmann is very effective for this as they look at evidence and reality. Erhmann is well respected. His books are used at Yale etc to teach the New Testament. There are quite a few videos of him on youtube.

 

I found trying to take shortcuts wasn't as effective as going through the mill. ie. I am doing an Old testament course on Youtube where they say that the story of Noah and the Flood was copied from Mesopotamian myths and stories of the Gods. Rather than just believe the lecturer, I found it far more effective to read the Mesopotamian myths and see for myself the equivalence.

 

Um, so I believe in the truth about the Flood in the Bible BUT that's based on Mesopotamian mythology? Do I believe in Mesopotamian mythology? Hell no.

 

Repeat vigorously for other parts of the Bible (and there are many parts that don't stand up to realistic scrutiny and many parts with v. similar stories told elsewhere that were parts of other religions / mythologies) and voila.

 

No self torture or avoidance or trying to convince yourself required.

 

The history of Christian church is also something also in itself. Politics, power, murder, intrigue. The History of Christianity by Diarmaid McCulloch is a good source of info for this. It shows the church to be a man made institution like any other. From where then can it claim authority?

 

Also reading about Theology and how that developed will help too. I haven't got really stuck into this yet, but the bits I have read just make my eyes roll. Quite a lot of it is just people totally making stuff up, but being in a position of power to make things stick, or being only a part of a much broader dialogue, eventually getting "fixed" decades later through politics. Of course Christians will argue that its "divinely inspired/guided" but reading the sources and looking at the situations, you will be able to make that distinction for yourself. There is no reason why you should unquestioningly accept the authority of an Aquinas or Tillich or Augustine. You will find a lot of their reasonings / translations totally alien, again destroying the authority of their received truths spewed out as doctrine at church.

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It will take a while to revise your views/opinions about Jesus.

 

I think that is the question you have to ask yourself now: Who do I think Jesus was?

 

Let's rule out "he really was the Son of God" for now, because even he never called himself the Son of God...that was a title others gave him and seems rather telling, don't you think?

 

Did he really exist at all?

 

Was he crazy?

 

What was he really trying to accomplish?

 

These are all questions I asked and sought some answers to. Mind you, I did not heavily invest time seeking...a few nights here and there on the internet and YouTube and watching documentaries.

 

I did eventually come to my own conclusions and so will you.

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I agree with Burny. Here are a few things that helped me kiss Jesus goodbye:

  1. The Gospels were written no earlier than four decades after the alleged events and they were all written by second-generation Christians.
    • This Ted Talk about eyewitness testimony was a real eye opener for me too.
  2. Even if the "words of Jesus" are taken at face value, he was kind of a dick.
    • In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus introduced the concept of "thought crimes" and "eternal damnation" while surrounding these horrors with pretty words about meekness and being poor in spirit. That's just plain nefarious, IMO.
       
    • Jesus forgave the adulteress but gave no thought to her husband, who was the actual victim.
       
    • When you heal someone and tell them, "don't sin anymore or something worse might happen," doesn't that make you a complete asshole? Who can "not sin"? 
       
    • He healed a paralytic just to piss off the pharisees. Honestly!
  3. The best that can be said for the whole thing is that Jesus had a really bad weekend for your sins. OK, so technically he died, but was alive three days later? Come on. What kind of sacrifice is that? To me, it is no more meaningful than "Jesus took a nap for your sins."
     
  4. According to the Bible, Jesus committed assisted suicide. ("No one takes (my life) from me, but I lay it down of my own accord {with the help of people who are pissed off at me}."

To the Christian, this all sounds flippant but the reality is that the Christian God is pathetic, the idea of human sacrifice as propitiation is nauseating, and Jesus was an ass. Who wants that kind of person as a friend?

 

Not I.

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This is so helping me!!! If I can ever get to the place of calling Jesus a bad name then I'll be free! I even trembled at throwing away my bible. I thought I should read it with a new perspective but was so worried I'd get sucked in. I must have a weak mind. At least in this area. Thank you everyone. Truly.

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Hi Becks,

 

I had this same problem quite severely when I first realised Jesus wasn't real and it was all bull.  I love RenaissanceWoman's reply.  It will take time but the virtual 'Jesus' that our brains construct does fade in time. 

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I also want to second RenaissanceWoman's comments. 

 

Leaving your faith is a lot like going through detox. It is emotionally and mentally grueling. The transition is insanely difficult.

 

But it doesn't last forever. You will get through this. And the great thing about that is not only that you will be whole but that you will be able to help future new Ex-Christians. That is a really good feeling.

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But it doesn't last forever. You will get through this. And the great thing about that is not only that you will be whole but that you will be able to help future new Ex-Christians. That is a really good feeling.

looking forward to that! Thank you
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I think of it as an actual physical connection in your brain that has to be rewired, and that takes time. Coming on this site might have picked at that synapse (or whatever it is), that maybe you had been trying to avoid. But now it's stimulated, and needs to be addressed. You are working through it, believe it or not, and it's painful I know. It's kind of like stretching a sore muscle or going through physical therapy: it hurts like mad, but eventually the old acid buildup in your muscles breaks free or the therapy breaks through scar tissue or strengthens other muscles (or whatever it is that is going on there) -- and the original pain is gone or diminished or worked around or otherwise made better. Your brain will get there too. Take heart, it will get better.

 

A while back, someone here once compared religion in the brain to the layers of an onion. It took years of indoctrination to build up those layers, and peeling away those layers of fear, shame, guilt, etc. is going to take time in the other direction.

 

You'll get there. Soldier on and take heart.

thank you so much!
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thank you so much!

 

 

You're welcome. Been there, done that. Soon enough you will be past this and willing and able to give similar encouragement to others. No worries!

 

That's why this forum is so great. Working through, then passing it along to the next. I'm glad you're part of it.

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 I even trembled at throwing away my bible. 

Becks, I have been on this site for four years now and I JUST got the guts up to take the most handsome picture of jesus down off my wall and put it in the garbage. It was also a very expensive picture and I hate wasting money. One of my girlfriends called me a hypocrite (teasing me) when she came for coffee and seen the picture on the wall. She said that deep down I still believe...or why would I leave this picture hanging? She had the balls to call me out on it because she is not happy that I'm a non-believer. Becks, I was imaginarily (no such word Lol)  'married' to jesus in my mind. I was his 'bride'. It takes some of us a long time to let go and 'divorce'. Hang in there with us hon.

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Becks. I have posted this many times. You may find some help with this really good article......"Reprogram Your own Mind''...

 

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-deprogram.html

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Becks. I have posted this many times. You may find some help with this really good article......"Reprogram Your own Mind''...

 

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-deprogram.html

Margee that was really good. I can see myself in some of that mind trap. Thanks for sharing!!! ????
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Becks. I have posted this many times. You may find some help with this really good article......"Reprogram Your own Mind''...

 

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-deprogram.html

This is quite good.

 

I especially liked this:

 

"And then there is denial and rationalization. Some people will endlessly deny or rationalize every negative thing they hear about their leader or their church or cult (or their corporation or their political party, or whatever). They will never actually let a contrary idea get into their heads."

 

That is my Conservative Evangelical mom through and through. She can pick endlessly at untrue Christianities like Catholicism but when it comes to her church and beliefs, its ALL perfect. It totally astonishes me.

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Hey there! I think I can totally relate. It has taken me years to try and rid myself from some of the brainwash aka programming that I allowed the church to do to me, and I am not yet done (see some of my other posts). It's like Xianity is a form of addiction and it takes time to (re)develop new/normal patterns. For me, the worst parts are prayer, guilt, and some kind of shame/awkwardness for normal behaviour that Christians would find inappropriate (e.g. defend oneself, allowing oneself to feel anger). I find it is worse for me when I am in a situation that I would have "prayed away" in former times. But it helps to tell myself that there really is no big brother watching, and that I am in control and have a right to just be happy... no strings attached. But it takes so much time and effort. But looking at this site... we're in this together, and we can support each other. And the best thing is... we do so because we want to, and not because gawd commands us so! We might still feel some chains, but we're really FREE, Becks! (Ha! I sound like a preacher! Sorry!)

 

Well, this being said, I have to get ready for church now to attend a family affair. Should I take a book? Zzz... I hope there won't be too many triggers. Haven't been to Da House of the Looord in ages. Sigh. Have a great day, my dear fellow ex-x-people! Will put on a very short skirt. Jesus won't mind, will he? And I won't give them any money. Promise.

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I always went back to the basic proposition that Genesis was mere mythology, and that therefore everything built upon it (including the supposed importance and centrality of Christ) was a myth also.  A house cannot stand without its' foundation.

 

Something else that can be useful (at least, for time) - anger.  This religion has foisted guilt and intellectual bankruptcy upon you, upon all of us and still is doing so.  Think of the enormity of that - and allow yourself the luxury of getting very, very pissed off about it.  Nothing wrong with making use of your own emotions in this particular battle.

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Reprogram your brain by replacing beliefs with knowledge. Start by studying Evolution or Cosmology.

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