Brother Jeff Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I'm just feeling thankful for the LARD! I am NOTHING without HIM!! If He hadn't sacrificed Himself to Himself to save me from Himself because Adam and Eve listened to the Talking Snake and ate the magic fruit from the magic tree He had warned them not to fuck with, I would be going to HELL!! My inner spook died way back when Adam and Eve ate the magic fruit, but the HOLY SPOOK magically regenerated it! I have been born again! Glory! Kryasst Croaked in the Spook and magically Magically Undeadened Himself for ME! He had ME in mind when He was beaten and flogged! He had ME in mind when He was nailed to the big giant stick! He had ME in mind when He kicked the Talking Snake's ass! Because I believe the Glorious Bullshit about the LARD, I get to live with HIM forever in the Sky Kingdom after I Croak in the Spook! Because of HIS glorious work, I get to live a second magical eternal life after this one is over! BLESS THE LARD AND HALL-LAY-LOOH-YAH!! Won't you join me in lifting up the LARD? PRAISE HIM!! WORSHIP HIM!! HE IS WORTHY!! Just be careful not to bump His head on the solid dome firmament in which the stars are fixed! THANK YOU, LARD JESUS!! I AM YOURS FOREVER! GLORY!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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