Sympathizing With Theists... Sort Of.

[Aiyana]

Quick background to my life.

 

1. Raised Catholic, but not in a particularly religious family. We went to Sunday Mass, Wednesday night "religion class", and said a quick prayer at dinner. I had a very normal childhood otherwise (compared to children of evangelical and fundamentalist xians).

2. I was a very, very imaginative child. I had a secret country well into my teens. I felt very drawn to Wicca as a teen, it just seemed so gloriously imaginative, and I thought that was great. Never actually became a Wiccan, though.

3. I was introduced to evangelicalism around the age of 15. I was very, very drawn to it. I have a very OCD/perfectionist mind, and I was drawn to the ideas of holiness, of purity, of being "God's princess". Didn't actually become a Christian, though. At least, not yet.

4. Finally became a Christian at age 21 after a bout of postpartum depression. Dove in headfirst. Always had intellectual doubts, but was able to push them back for the next 13 years.

5. Couldn't push those doubts down anymore and deconverted last year at age 34. Never in my adult life have I been happier.

 

BUT. You know what I really miss? Imagination. During and after deconversion, I took a look at a lot of denominations and religions... everything from revisiting Catholicism, to Episcopalianism, to Wicca, to Druidry. But I discovered that I am really, really secular and skeptical. I can't believe in any of that even if I want to. And it kind of sucks. I miss believing in another realm. I miss imagination. I miss magic.

 

Yesterday, I started recalling how I used to be around the age of 12 or so. I named a bunch of properties in my neighborhood (including my own house) and pretended they were part of a secret kingdom type of deal. Yesterday I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna do that shit again." I named my house. I pretended I was the queen of my realm and that there were many other kings and queens of realms scattered over the globe. I thought to myself, "I could even practice some form of paganism, maybe Wicca." I started talking myself into the fact that it would be easy to believe in the god and goddess as mere archetypes. Maybe I could even do cool shit like spells and giving meaning to gems and different kinds of incense. Even if I don't REALLY believe it's real, I can believe it's real! Just for the sake of sheer fun. It was sounding pretty appealing.

 

And then I felt kind of sympathetic toward Christians. Because imagination is fun. It was FUN to pray and believe I was talking to God. It was fun to wear a "secret symbol" little cross necklace. (Well, okay, not so secret, but still). It was fun to put stickers in my journal that said "Precious" (in His sight) and "Princess" (Daughter of the King). It was fun to be part of a club. Even during my deconversion, when Episcopalianism was the only denomination left that I could stomach, it was fun to go to a liturgical service, fun to take the bread and get the blessing, fun to walk the labyrinth. I like imagination, and I like ritual. THAT SHIT IS FUN.

 

So am I too hard on Christians? I've been telling myself that their beliefs are based on fear, ignorance, and brainwashing. But maybe it's just that part of the human brain that enjoys imagination and fantasy. Or, at least part of it. Or, at least those Christians who have creative brains.

 

What do you think?

[FreeThinkerNZ]

I think it's fine if it is just fun and imagination for a sane consenting adult who doesn't harm anyone else with it.

 

How often are those criteria met?

[WarriorPoet]

Imagination IS fun.  I don't have a problem with that.  The xians or theists of any stripe can imagine whatever they want and I will never say a thing about it.

 

The problem is when these beliefs cross the line from imagination to the real world.  When people try to legislate their imagination onto others that don't share the same ideas.  When they tell certain people that they can't marry who they want to, that they can't control their own bodies, that they can't say or think certain things because their imaginary friend might be angry.  That is where I will oppose them with everything I have.

 

Exercise your imagination all you want, you may just come up with some very good ideas.  Just make sure you do something that the theists neglect to do.  Allow other people to live their lives with no expectation for them to live up to your ideas, at least until you are able to prove that your ideas have merit.

[Lilith666]

Read a fantasy novel. Write a fantasy novel. Make up your own world of imagination and magic. Go looking for fairies. You don't need religion to have sparkles and enchanted castles in the sky in your life.

 

And screw that BS "God's princess" stuff. We are all princesses in our own right. Or Jedi, or superheroes, or whichever one prefers. What I'm saying is, you don't need Jesus to be valid. You are a princess because you are you. Xianity actually invalidates us by saying God is the only reason we are valuable. No. You are priceless because you are a person. That garbage about "Join our club and you too can be special!!" always pisses me off.

[Aiyana]

Yeah, good answers, guys. I especially like what Lilith said about all of us being special and not just the "elite" Christians. It's true, and I know it's true, although there is something in me... something hard to overcome... that still feels attracted to the elitist, purity culture mentality. It's really annoying and I hope to gradually overcome it.

[Ellinas]

I imagine quite a lot of nonsense that I don't believe.  It's a good recreation.  Just go with the proverbial flow and enjoy it.

[Leahbekah]

Aiyana, you are a hoot! I bet your kids just have a blast with you, lol

[Aiyana]

Aiyana, you are a hoot! I bet your kids just have a blast with you, lol

Haha! I don't know, you'd have to ask them! I do try and make stories central to our lives.

[Guest sylensikeelyoo]

I agree with Lilith. You should write a fantasy novel or something. You are absolutely right, imagination IS fun! You can still be a part of clubs and groups that use their imaginations for fun and they DONT try to manipulate or control people with this fantasy stuff. Gaming, for example. People get together and play Pathfinder, Warhammer, D&D, Magic, etc. I bet that stuff would be right up your alley!

[Leo]

Aiyana, I think it's fun to imagine that women can spread out their arms and actually fly, hair streaming out behind them, and the rest of us ignorant souls just don't know they're doing it. It's even fun to think it when She comes inside the house, Her hair smelling like the wind.

 

The difference? People would think I'm strange if they knew. And no woman has approached me telling me that if I don't believe it I'm going to Hell. I don't have to create apologetic spin to prove they can fly.

 

I know what you mean about imagination, even though I don't relate it to Christianity. I was a tree-climber as a kid. Distance measurement is a lot different if you're blind like I am. So it was very easy for me to imagine once I climbed into the high branches of trees that there was a whole sky world a few tens of feet up from me. A world where the "ground" is made of wicker, where you can run and moon-bounce to your heart's content, where all the furniture is wicker, where people and things fly up there. Where birds can actually talk. Where you could climb up on top of clouds and ride them around, driving them like bikes.

But nobody ever tried to tell me it was a sin for me not to believe that stuff. It was okay that I just thought it, knew I was making it all up and had fun with it. It was all right that the landscape up there changed as I got older. There was no "right belief" thought control mechanisms deployed.

 

I could understand more of where you're coming from if Christianity didn't have such a thumbscrew on imaginative play, and such a hold on what is and isn't "right thinking".

[florduh]

Religion abuses imagination. It makes it something rigid, vile and toxic. I don't see religious beliefs as imagination but rather delusion, which is quite another thing.

[Blood]

What Florduh said. 

[Aiyana]

Leo, those are awesome imaginings. I don't think they're strange at all.

[Brother Jeff]

I had great fun when I was a Christian believer. I loved to pray and I often felt the Holy Farter's magical presence very strongly. LOVED Charismatic praise and worship! So much fun! Loved hanging out with my good Christian friends. Loved reading the pleasant parts of the Book of Myths. Loved singing solos at church. Loved participating in the worship choir. Religion can be a lot of fun! It's not all bad. But like others have said, it gets bad when you try to force your beliefs on others. As long as you are just having fun, go for it! Let your imagination fly like the wind! Let it fly like an eagle! Bless the Lard! Glory!