RogueScholar Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 It looks as though I've been here for a full year. Thanks for the acceptance and the open area where I've engaged in some good conversation. Over the past year, I've become a fully "out" atheist and my wife is much more comfortable with my stance. She's "deconverted" in a sense, becoming a sort of deistic-pantheistic minded person. In all, things are pretty good. I've ended up loosing a few friends unfortunately and it is sad upon reflection, to realise how tenuous these relationships must have been. Of course, I've had the opposite occur. One of my closest friends has been an atheist nearly all his life and only now after well over a decade of friendship have I learned this. All said, I'm much better off being out and open and I've never felt better about being a human and understanding my place in this universe with a bit more clarity. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Relationships with friends/spouse/parents are always better when huge parts of your personality are not held back. Congrats on the full year! Those first milestones are always so important to reflect on and recognize the changes in yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Congrats! I always enjoy your posts. Praise science. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogueScholar Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Thanks everyone. Just to clarify, I've been an atheist for a while, just not completely out of the closet so to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Congrats! I, too, enjoy your posts and questions. Sounds good with your wife! Best of continued luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Talking about fleeting time...I just checked and I've been on these forums for almost nine years. I can't believe it. That means it's nine years since I deconverted from Christianity. I don't know the exact date but it happened during the summer when I joined these forums at the end of August. It took several more months for me to be sure about being atheist but by Christmas that was in place, too, so that I have now been an atheist for eight and a half years. I thought it was still something new. Life as an unbeliever really is good, huh? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 It's been a year for me too. Great news about your wife. Mine has been out of church for awhile, Her job being so strenuous She hasn't had time or energy to go. Now She says She's not sure which one She'd go to, Her requirements are changing I think. She's still definitely Christian but we don't really discuss those kinds of things. Except that I listen if She talks about something related to that. Something I've found that I would never have guessed: It's far easier to listen to a Christian talk about themselves and their experience if you're not trying to make yourself authenticate and believe it, or if you're not hiding. And anyway, congratulations and all the best to you. It's so freeing seeing the universe as something spectacular instead of something corrupted and needing destruction by an apocalypse. I'll never forget last April stepping outside into the sun, listening to the birds and mentally acknowledging I didn't at all buy the Christian narrative about things. No longer on the fence even, no longer trying to make sense out of it, it's all bunk. The universe with all its flaws is amazing. Perfection is an illusion that kept us chasing our tails senselessly, and that day I could stand there in awe and appreciation of what was around, the meaning we create, the other life forms, the magnificent nuclear fusion furnaces we call the Sun and other stars, and so forth. I wish you all the best, and congrats re: you r situation with your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogueScholar Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Thanks. I just wanted to clarify again that I've been an atheist for a while but out and vocal since I joined the forum a year ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Rogue Scholar, I'm guessing that like some others you are finding it freeing to be able to be out and vocal. I take it you're not getting a lot of persecution for it, so that it's safe for you to be this way. That is such a great way to live. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogueScholar Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 I've lost a few friends, one was somewhat of a hero and mentor but he reacted pretty negatively to my overall change of heart. Most of the kickback that I've had to deal with has been less about my non-religion and more about my beliefs around social issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 RogueScholar, I think that would back up what people like Dale Mcgowan write about; that it's more often than not the social issues and community people worry about. I have an evangelical Christian pastor friend who finds himself on the outside of some beliefs in Christianity. Definitely evangelical but supporting gays' right to get married on a live and let live Libertarian basis. It's easy to lose Christians as friends in the U.S. because of your political persuasion on things. I'm Independent in some ways probably Libertarian-ish. But if you go Democrat, in many circles that's worse than being an atheist. Yet, I have a cousin who's a Christian, but about as Democrat as you can get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuffOfLogic Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 @RogueScholar & @Leo, I'm wondering how you feel about your wives becoming less "serious" about their faith, presumably in part because of your changes? I mean I know it's not rational to be angry about finding out something that's not real isn't real, and maybe it's for the best, but I don't wish this anguish on my worst enemy let alone my wife - I don't really want to be trying to convince her (still not loving the "deconvert" term either - feels a bit like it's a religion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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