Popular Post Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted May 28, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted May 28, 2015 My deconversion journey has been both terrifying and awesome. I will share my full testimony later, the reasons why I've decided not to be a Christian anymore and all that. But first, I have to share something incredible with all of you. This morning when I awoke, I felt so free, so relieved of stress, so rested, and just so awesome. I just got back from our family vacation to the grand canyon. Standing up on the top of a mile high rock face, I was overcome with wonder and amazement at the beauty of our planet. And I got to thinking, you know, I see why people who need an explanation for what they see and feel when they look at this...they attribute it to God. A year ago, I would have thought the same thing. But the other day, as I was gazing upon that majestic canyon, I knew how it was formed naturally.... No one created it. It just happened naturally, and here I am, appreciating it, knowing full well how it happened and I was still able to feel wonder and amazement anyway. I came to the conclusion that even though God is most likely not real, it is okay. I can still feel joy and happiness and appreciation for the world around me without ANY gods. I am not sure why, but there is so much freedom in that realization. I know that I can still live my life and be happy, and live a good, and just, and noble life without God. Last night, I took this revelation with me as I slept with my husband. I used to be so closed off and repressed sexually, and I used to feel guilt and shame for doing some of the sexual things my husband and I both enjoyed together. Last night, I completely let go and did all the things I wanted to explore with him. Things we had talked about but I didn't want to do because my religion taught me it was immoral. Well last night we did it all and I felt no shame or guilt AT ALL. With no god sitting up in the sky somewhere judging everything I do, I felt free to be me...and I LOVED IT. my husband did too. Lol ....so after a night of recreation with my hubby (giggity) I woke up this morning feeling so awesome. I feel like I hit a milestone in my deconversion. I am finally okay with living life with no gods. It. Feels. AMAZING. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Doubly awesome! I'm glad you enjoyed the world and your husband! And I see in your interests you enjoy "masturbating wildly to pix of livestock after receiving a cocaine enema." I'm glad you don't have guilt or shame over your sexual interests anymore!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I am so happy for you!! Way to go! Regarding your feelings about the natural world, I had similar feelings soon after deconverting. It's wonderful to think about the awesome natural forces that shape the earth, and plants, and animals, and everything out in space. It blows your mind, once you are free to appreciate things that are infinitely more majestic than pathetic, petty little biblegod. I really get what you are saying. Brilliant stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 This world, life, and the universe can be truly, truly awesome and mind-blowing! Such joy we can find our lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Bless the Lard, Sister! That is awesome! Glory! I have the joy of living in Alaska, and I am constantly awed by the natural beauty I am surrounded by. It never gets old. Every time I go on a wilderness hike, I am in a non-stop state of AWE. I know now that no one made this amazingly beautiful scenery, but that doesn't detract from the awesomeness of it at all. The REAL WORLD is far more awe-inspiring than religion could ever hope to be! Glory! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leahbekah Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 This made me smile so big.... then I read the end... and I smiled much bigger! Giggity So happy for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I got weak in the knees and almost cried when I saw the Grand Canyon. It blew me away like nothing else ever did. I got dizzy and felt like I was going to fall into it -- and I was at least 30 feet away from the edge! And I can hardly wait until next year when both of my sons will get to see it for their first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOpened Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 My deconversion journey has been both terrifying and awesome. I will share my full testimony later, the reasons why I've decided not to be a Christian anymore and all that. But first, I have to share something incredible with all of you. This morning when I awoke, I felt so free, so relieved of stress, so rested, and just so awesome. I just got back from our family vacation to the grand canyon. Standing up on the top of a mile high rock face, I was overcome with wonder and amazement at the beauty of our planet. And I got to thinking, you know, I see why people who need an explanation for what they see and feel when they look at this...they attribute it to God. A year ago, I would have thought the same thing. But the other day, as I was gazing upon that majestic canyon, I knew how it was formed naturally.... No one created it. It just happened naturally, and here I am, appreciating it, knowing full well how it happened and I was still able to feel wonder and amazement anyway. I came to the conclusion that even though God is most likely not real, it is okay. I can still feel joy and happiness and appreciation for the world around me without ANY gods. I am not sure why, but there is so much freedom in that realization. I know that I can still live my life and be happy, and live a good, and just, and noble life without God. Last night, I took this revelation with me as I slept with my husband. I used to be so closed off and repressed sexually, and I used to feel guilt and shame for doing some of the sexual things my husband and I both enjoyed together. Last night, I completely let go and did all the things I wanted to explore with him. Things we had talked about but I didn't want to do because my religion taught me it was immoral. Well last night we did it all and I felt no shame or guilt AT ALL. With no god sitting up in the sky somewhere judging everything I do, I felt free to be me...and I LOVED IT. my husband did too. Lol ....so after a night of recreation with my hubby (giggity) I woke up this morning feeling so awesome. I feel like I hit a milestone in my deconversion. I am finally okay with living life with no gods. It. Feels. AMAZING. The Grand Canyon is Awesome !! I live 3 hours south of it. If you get a chance go to Sedona next time. Beautiful sites to see there also. Glad you are free from the guilt!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 ROTFLMAO - I am very happy for you sister! I'm sure your hubby is too!! Something that really took me by surprise was the joy and wonder of the natural world became stronger in me after deconversion. When I was xtian it was too easy to simply look at something and say "God created it that way - of course it's amazing". Now that I realize everything is naturally formed I am in love with the world all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Well done and welcome to freedom. Mind, I never really understood quite why a god would take any interest at all in the sexual predilections of us mere mortals. Control freakery, I suppose. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Um, isn't anyone going to ask for specifics on what went on in that bedroom? What's wrong with you people? OK, seriously...Sylensikeelyou, I know what you mean. I remember waking up the first morning I knew that I didn't believe any of Christianity anymore. It was great. Ironically, it felt like I was born again, if I can use that term. Everything looked better and felt better. The sky was bluer and the grass was greener. What a good feeling to be able to enjoy the beauty of the world for what it is without having to think it was created and cursed by some mean old Biblegod. Congratulations on finding your freedom from the fear and guilt! I hope you stick around the forums for a good long time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Cool. True freedom is awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethAnnF Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Oh my gosh I love this post!!! It's so cool that I read this today because I recently totally let go of my "religious" roots myself and am feeling the same things as you in regards to nature. In fact, I think it's even more amazing to see that these things occurred naturally than to think they were "created" by some diety that doesn't exist. That's the real awe! And congrats on losing your inhibitions! Nothing wrong in making yourself and your partner feel good, right???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Um, isn't anyone going to ask for specifics on what went on in that bedroom? What's wrong with you people? Nah. We're either young enough to be jealous or old enough to be too tired already... I'm in the latter category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Um, isn't anyone going to ask for specifics on what went on in that bedroom? What's wrong with you people? LOL Dude you are so awesome! But I'm with Ellinas. I think it is much better to just leave it to everyone's imagination what went on in our bedroom. But seriously though, thank you all for your responses and your encouragement. I am so deeply moved at how friendly and supportive everyone in this community is. It has made my deconversion so much easier. I really am grateful for the life I have and VERY happy with no gods. If anyone is curious about my full testimony, it is in the main blog. It's the one just posted today. My pen name is American Apostate and its the only story posted today. Check it out if your curiosity gets the best of ya! Thanks again everyone! You are all so AMAZING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConscientiousObjector Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Lmao!!! Oh my invisible sky-daddy, your post made me laugh so hard when I read it a few nights ago, I woke my husband up! Congratulations on losing your inhibitions, I wish I could say the same for myself. Not sure if that stems from Christian repression, or my unfortunate experiences in the Navy (probably a little of both). I think I read in one of your other posts that your husband is agnostic, did he help you to deconvert? I understand your feelings of joy and awe with the natural beauty of the world around us. It is nothing short of amazing to realize that it was all formed by chance over millennia. It makes me feel incredibly lucky to be alive to see and enjoy the world and all its splendor! I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Lmao!!! Oh my invisible sky-daddy, your post made me laugh so hard when I read it a few nights ago, I woke my husband up! Congratulations on losing your inhibitions, I wish I could say the same for myself. Not sure if that stems from Christian repression, or my unfortunate experiences in the Navy (probably a little of both). I think I read in one of your other posts that your husband is agnostic, did he help you to deconvert? I understand your feelings of joy and awe with the natural beauty of the world around us. It is nothing short of amazing to realize that it was all formed by chance over millennia. It makes me feel incredibly lucky to be alive to see and enjoy the world and all its splendor! I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Thanks so much, CO! I am sorry for what happened to you in the Navy But thank you for your service, Sailor! And to answer your question, believe it or not, my husband had nothing to do with my deconverting, even though he has been VERY supportive! But yeah he's agnostic. My am not sure what I am. I am a skeptic for sure, but I am not sure if I'm a full blown atheist yet. By the end of this journey, I may be. Who knows? All I really know is, I like myself and I'm happy now. None of the details matter to me at this point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConscientiousObjector Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I'm quite amused that you called me sailor! I spent 4 years in the Navy and never set foot on a Navy ship. Seabees are an odd branch of the Navy (a bastard step child), closer to being in the Army or the Marines. It's actually a construction division of the military (I know what you may be thinking: a woman in a group of military construction workers? Sounds like fun, right? Lol). We flew by chartered jets to every place we deployed, I can't even remember much of the standard Navy lingo. I was wondering if your family is religious, and would thereby think your husband influenced you. My hubs and I are convinced that his family will beleive that I used my heathenistic wiles to entice him to join the dark side (I'm so eeeviilll, bwahahaaa...). I feel you on not knowing what particular group to indentify with (agnostic? atheist? secular humanist?). Oh well, fuck labels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I'm quite amused that you called me sailor! I spent 4 years in the Navy and never set foot on a Navy ship. Seabees are an odd branch of the Navy (a bastard step child), closer to being in the Army or the Marines. It's actually a construction division of the military (I know what you may be thinking: a woman in a group of military construction workers? Sounds like fun, right? Lol). We flew by chartered jets to every place we deployed, I can't even remember much of the standard Navy lingo. I was wondering if your family is religious, and would thereby think your husband influenced you. My hubs and I are convinced that his family will beleive that I used my heathenistic wiles to entice him to join the dark side (I'm so eeeviilll, bwahahaaa...). I feel you on not knowing what particular group to indentify with (agnostic? atheist? secular humanist?). Oh well, fuck labels! Exactly. Its still so new. Fuck labels. Once I get a grip on things and sort out all this shit floating around in my brain I can properly label myself. Until then, I'm just gonna do what I do. Be myself and love myself. Make right my wrongs, now that I DONT have a god anymore to "take away my sins", I have more responsibility and accountability for my actions. This new thought process makes me waaaay less of an asshole, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConscientiousObjector Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Amen, sistah! Out of upvotes again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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