Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I am happy. I am a wealthy, successful zoo owner and I have hundreds of zoos all over the world. I am also have very high standards for my zoos and I expect all of my employees to follow all of my procedures to the letter. I am angry. My favorite zoo has started declining in revenue. The employees have not been following my procedures and taking care of things the way I want them to and as a result, things aren't working anymore. My employees have made me so angry, that I am sorry I ever created this zoo. It was one of my first ones and I have a special attachment to it. I visit it often and fuck around with it from time to time, but while I was away for a few months the whole thing just turned to shit. My favorite zoo keeper, Noelle, does a great job at one of my more successful zoos, so I send her to the failing zoo to see if she can get it up and running properly. The other employees don't listen to her, and the profits continue to tank as attendance is more miniscule. Veterinary care is becoming too expensive and overhead is just soaring, as these incompetent employees aren't doing anything to take better care of these animals. I am pissed. There is only one thing left for me to do. I'm going to bomb my fucking zoo. Yep. I am merciful. I call a meeting with Noelle. I tell her that I have a tip about an impending terrorist attack on this zoo and I want her to build a bomb shelter. I want it big enough for a few of the healthier, more valuable animals that are harder to get ahold of should the zoo get blown up. I give her 120 days to get it done, because that's when its gonna happen. Trust me. Her family all work there as well. Her husband, three daughters: Shelly, Hannah, and Jasmine, and their husbands all work at this zoo. I give them all ear pieces so I can speak with them directly. I DONT want any of the other employees knowing what's going on. The day arrives. I tell Noelle and her family in their ear pieces to hurry up, grab as many animals as they can (the valuable ones, and preferably two of each species), and get in the bomb shelter. KABOOM! For forty days, pieces of dead animals and people are being cleaned up from the wreckage. All of the debris and carnage has caused a lot of publicity for my zoo. After a year, I am able to reopen the zoo, and it is better and more successful than ever before. Noelle gives me gifts for saving her and her family's lives. I am happy. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOpened Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Hahahahahaha. Just awesome. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Hells yeah, Eyes! I fucking LOVE Nonstamp collector. He's a genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOpened Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Hells yeah, Eyes! I fucking LOVE Nonstamp collector. He's a genius!Yeah, me too. My brother turned me on to his youtube channel years ago and it is probably one of the reasons i deconverted. I watched all of his videos and the make complete sense. Darkmatter2525 is another one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Yep yep and Armored Skeptic and Logicked are really good ones as well. They are great at taking on Christian apologists Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOpened Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Yep yep and Armored Skeptic and Logicked are really good ones as well. They are great at taking on Christian apologistsI will have to watch some of their stuff. Thanks Back to your Noah's Ark transition. It was way more than i expected. Awesome stuff. Please keep them coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylastelephant Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I am happy. I am a wealthy, successful zoo owner and I have hundreds of zoos all over the world. I am also have very high standards for my zoos and I expect all of my employees to follow all of my procedures to the letter. I am angry. My favorite zoo has started declining in revenue. The employees have not been following my procedures and taking care of things the way I want them to and as a result, things aren't working anymore. My employees have made me so angry, that I am sorry I ever created this zoo. It was one of my first ones and I have a special attachment to it. I visit it often and fuck around with it from time to time, but while I was away for a few months the whole thing just turned to shit. My favorite zoo keeper, Noelle, does a great job at one of my more successful zoos, so I send her to the failing zoo to see if she can get it up and running properly. The other employees don't listen to her, and the profits continue to tank as attendance is more miniscule. Veterinary care is becoming too expensive and overhead is just soaring, as these incompetent employees aren't doing anything to take better care of these animals. I am pissed. There is only one thing left for me to do. I'm going to bomb my fucking zoo. Yep. I am merciful. I call a meeting with Noelle. I tell her that I have a tip about an impending terrorist attack on this zoo and I want her to build a bomb shelter. I want it big enough for a few of the healthier, more valuable animals that are harder to get ahold of should the zoo get blown up. I give her 120 days to get it done, because that's when its gonna happen. Trust me. Her family all work there as well. Her husband, three daughters: Shelly, Hannah, and Jasmine, and their husbands all work at this zoo. I give them all ear pieces so I can speak with them directly. I DONT want any of the other employees knowing what's going on. The day arrives. I tell Noelle and her family in their ear pieces to hurry up, grab as many animals as they can (the valuable ones, and preferably two of each species), and get in the bomb shelter. KABOOM! For forty days, pieces of dead animals and people are being cleaned up from the wreckage. All of the debris and carnage has caused a lot of publicity for my zoo. After a year, I am able to reopen the zoo, and it is better and more successful than ever before. Noelle gives me gifts for saving her and her family's lives. I am happy. Now I know what hotdogs are made of (Left over zoo animals.) Don't tell your kids though, cozz they'd cry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConscientiousObjector Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Another brilliant post, sylens! (Yookeelmee!) EO, that Noahs Ark vid was hilarious! I'll have to check out that channel sometime. So, shall we talk about the blatant absurdities in the Noahs Ark/great flood story, or would that derail the point of this thread? I'd love to hear end or ironhorse defend that myth. It's something that I always tried to discuss with the hopelessly religious people in my life, but I usually received the go-to answers: "The Lord works in mysterious ways!" or "Shut up and read your bible, there are godless kids in Ethiopia!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironhorse Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. You know nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOpened Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Another brilliant post, sylens! (Yookeelmee!) EO, that Noahs Ark vid was hilarious! I'll have to check out that channel sometime. So, shall we talk about the blatant absurdities in the Noahs Ark/great flood story, or would that derail the point of this thread? I'd love to hear end or ironhorse defend that myth. It's something that I always tried to discuss with the hopelessly religious people in my life, but I usually received the go-to answers: "The Lord works in mysterious ways!" or "Shut up and read your bible, there are godless kids in Ethiopia!" CO, all of his videos make awesome points. Nonstampcollector makes it easy to understand. Also, check out darkmatter2525 on youtube also. Good stuff:) As for IH, looks like he already chimed in, lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. If they are myths, Ironhorse, then they are nothing but myths. What makes the O.T. myth different? See? This is why you catch flak here. You assume that your myth is true, and the others are false. Tell us, what makes yours special? - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. Scientists (and me) also don't accept the whole "global warming" doomsday scenario that's all the rage nowadays. It might be better if we both say SOME scientists.There might have been a flood in the known world back in the day that covered all of the known world at that time. There sure are enough myths and legends about such a thing. Do any of those myths and legends include the story about how only Biblegod's chosen few escaped, and also provide a scientifically ridiculous idea of an explanation for how the animals survived? - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. Something happened on Earth, that's for sure. But you know, Ironhorse, fossils have never provided that missing link, have they? If they are so unreliable you shouldn't claim them in an argument for a Biblical global flood. Oil? That's a whole other thread. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bornagainathiest Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. And there are many myths that don't suggest a great flood. Therefore, this point is inconclusive. - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. There are some scientists who do not wholly doubt this possibility. And there are some who do. Again, inconclusive. - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. Yes. Fossil record suggest many things. So do deposits of oil. Inconclusive. There's nothing to see here folks, beyond some speculation. Move on. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Just … no. Noah's flood has been debunked by science a thousand times over. and over… and over again. Were there localized floods? Sure…probably very many of them, and there were probably tons during neolithic times when the great ice sheets were melting and I'm sure legends were passed down from those pre-historic memories. A global flood? No. http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-noahs-ark.html http://biologos.org/blog/the-flood-not-global-barely-local-mostly-theological-I http://www.skepticreport.com/sr/?p=475 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. More trolling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 A few things to start: -There are many myths around the world that suggest a great flood. Depending on the story, either local or global. - Scientists do not wholly doubt this possibility. - Fossil records and the amount of oil in places around the planet suggest something happened. More trolling My, my my. We can usually count on Tin Pony to provide shallow, myopic and vacuous posts, along with his ever-so-present side salad of of passive aggressiveness. To the lurkers, Ironhorse is an example of what happens to the brain when one doesn't deal with the decades of religious indoctrination and peer pressure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 But Ironhorse believes he is right. And Bono has faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 But Ironhorse believes he is right. And Bono has faith. That's might be true, but Ironhorse needs to learn that few, if any (and likely none on this forum), care what he of his pal Bono "believes". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 After some years of being called out for shallow, myopic and vacuous posts, as sdelsoray puts it, IH continues to post shallow, myopic and vacuous posts. By now IH knows that what he posts cannot convince, because it invariably lacks evidence, argument, and even common sense. (A local flood that at the same time left only Mt. Ararat exposed? I mean, fuck.) Still, we get the same shit, time after time. I think the pattern is intentional. I call it trolling. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Starve a troll Feed a fever? I can never remember 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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