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Goodbye Jesus

Still Living Inside A Culture Of Magical Thinking


darthcool

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Hello! I grew up in fundy evangelical southern baptist until my mid 20s 20 years ago. I am the single one from a huge homeschooled family to have left christianity behind rejected the faith after a higher critical education on the sciences/ theology/ history as compared to a censored childhood reading every creationist book and End Time books i could get my hands on. I believed christianity 100% and was considered the serious young leader in my church leading bible studies and downtown witnessing. . My christian family and siblings are currently in the midst of drama and broken relationships due to family members changing denominations and joining cults and fighting because god talks to everyone in thier head but of course its all contradictory.

After 20 years of cult deprogramming i can say with confidence i have broken away and no longer feel motivated to obsess over apologetics or even defend my atheism ( my character) with family. Ironicly i now find myself as the mediator , coucelor and peacemaker between family ( since i claim no god given authority with my opinions ) while at the same time all my nieces/nephews are afraid of me ( i am angry at god) they suspect everything i say do and think is influenced by satan but to afraid to even talk about it . Its a very wierd situation. (And yet 20 years not a single family accualy asking me what i beleive..all they know is the dreaded atheist label) Its been a great and liberating experience leaving the faith but solitary and misunderstood exsperience so far.

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Hello Darthcool. Welcome to Ex-C.

 

I too know what it was like always being the peacemaker in the family. I was always the one to defuel a situation to make everyone ACT like everything was ok when there was a confrontation. I think the reason was i did not censor myself and said the things no one else wanted to say.

 

I understand the fire and brimstone teaching the baptists instill in its followers. I remember the preacher once said to me, " if you are not with God, you are against him". I thought to myself, wow, what a shallow outlook from a divine being who supposedly made the universe. It sounded like something a elementary school kid says to another.

 

Looking forward to some of your posts

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Glad you escaped your very fervent brainwashing. That takes not just intelligence, but courage. 

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Congrats!  I also believed 100% and my family was fundie (also Southern Baptists, lucked out and had one progressive preacher that wasn't all fire and brimstone), but thankfully my mom wore out of homeschooling after two years!  I'm positive my public school experience helped as I did befirend and maintain relationships with a couple atheists. I am truly sorry to hear about your nieces and nephews viewing you that way.  It is unfortunate that all they know is their beliefs-maybe one day one will grow out of their cult based on your inspiration.  At least through you, they are aware that you can grow up and come to believe something else. 

 

I live thousands of miles away from my family so have felt no real need to bring it up, I am also not as close to my siblings as I used to be.  However, both my sisters have become alarmingly more and more fundamentalist in their beliefs.  Then again ten years ago, I was kind of like that, too.  But I was also single and had more friends.  Both have settled and don't seem to have anybody out their SO and families, all of which are religious, so not getting my hopes high. I'm sure their kids will also view me as angry at God, doubt I'll go much longer without telling them. 

 

I'm very happy you're here! Welcome to the boards! 

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Thanks kolala, I am inbtween rock and hard place with my nieces/nephews. Out of respect for my sisters family foundations and identity I dont ever wantbto be blamed for her kids deconvertion so I wind up avoiding time with the kids and now I am the wierd distant uncle and my siblings ( since i am the only atheist they have known)have all used me unintentionaly as the archtype apostate example for thier children.

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Thanks Blood it did take courage. What was ironic is christians place so much sacred value on capital T Truth that it was this christian philosophy that resulted in my rejecting the faith I loved so much

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I forgot to mention one of the reasons why I returned to this site after maybe 10? years is the anger I am feeling and revisisting exchristianism over the fact that my sister is prearanging a marriage for my 16 yo niece to a 27 yo man in thier messianic cult. No i dont live in third world. This is happening in idaho!

Religous child abuse and its crossing the line with my drama free philosophy of remaing silent around family. But my sister is emotionaly fragile and she would disown me if I critisized her

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I forgot to mention one of the reasons why I returned to this site after maybe 10? years is the anger I am feeling and revisisting exchristianism over the fact that my sister is prearanging a marriage for my 16 yo niece to a 27 yo man in thier messianic cult. No i dont live in third world. This is happening in idaho!

Religous child abuse and its crossing the line with my drama free philosophy of remaing silent around family. But my sister is emotionaly fragile and she would disown me if I critisized her

 

Wow.  Yes, that would upset most normal people.  Seems like pre- arranged marriages are coming back into style or people are more vocal about them. You really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. No matter what you do, it probably won't prevent the wedding.  That is frustrating.  I'd be angry, too. 

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OMG. Similar happened to me. It will end badly and she will be saved from being trapped in the cult for life.

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I forgot to mention one of the reasons why I returned to this site after maybe 10? years is the anger I am feeling and revisisting exchristianism over the fact that my sister is prearanging a marriage for my 16 yo niece to a 27 yo man in thier messianic cult. No i dont live in third world. This is happening in idaho!

Religous child abuse and its crossing the line with my drama free philosophy of remaing silent around family. But my sister is emotionaly fragile and she would disown me if I critisized her

How grotesque.  The poor girl.

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...my sister is prearanging a marriage for my 16 yo niece to a 27 yo man in thier messianic cult. No i dont live in third world. This is happening in idaho!...

Wendytwitch.gif

 

Jesus-Fucking-Christ!

 

Wendybanghead.gif

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Firstly, welcome.

 

Secondly, well done on escaping a cult that has engulfed your entire family.

 

Thirdly, it sounds like your family is about to create a situation for yet another broken marriage.  I have no idea whether there is any legal basis for some sort of intervention in Idaho, but it sounds a situation where intervention is needed.

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The sadness is that you have has to wait so long to find a community, to no longer feel alone.

 

The problem is that magical thinking is a way of avoiding responsibility.

  • Live in the shadow of a volcano? God will look after you if you're good, but it it erupts you deserved it.
  • No rain? Well, the drought is God's punishment because you followed the wrong teachings, nothing to do with climate change.
  • Another baby? God's will not failure to use contraception.
  • No babies? God's will not a treatable flaw in your body.

Magical thinking is a sort of spiritual comfort food, fine in small portions but not something that nourishes the mind.

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Religous child abuse and its crossing the line with my drama free philosophy of remaing silent around family. But my sister is emotionaly fragile and she would disown me if I critisized her

And you just know that the cult is playing your sister's emotional fragility to keep her in line.

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