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Goodbye Jesus

More Of Them Crazy Jews...


Fweethawt

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Yep, as I said. I shed no tears for people who can't adapt to the world and normal society because of their special sensibilities or other requirements. You had to touch a metal button and didn't like it? Sweetie, that's called life. You move on.

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It's right there in the 9th commandment.

 

"And the LORD spoke unto Moses and said Thou shalt not push an elevator button nor be detected by a motion sensor.  Thou shalt not use wireless electronic keys."

 

Read the book of Exodus.

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I actually thought this was a joke at first. If they believe that their magic book prevents them from  operating  a key fob on one day out of seven , then they deserve to stand out on the rain

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“We don’t live in the stone age, I think everyone understands what the Sabbath is,” he said, frustrated.

     They don't live in the stone age.  They live in the Iron Age.  They're not savages.  They've got their shit together.  What the fuck is wrong with everyone else?

 

     Now someone open the open the magic door for him or else he won't go to a his happy place after he dies!

 

          mwc

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“We don’t live in the stone age, I think everyone understands what the Sabbath is,” he said, frustrated.

   

 

     Now someone open the open the magic door for him or else he won't go to a his happy place after he dies!

 

          mwc

 

Favourite post of the day. 

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6 out of 7 days= Allowed to open door

 

1 out of 7 days= Yahweh, angry, Yahweh SMASH

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Mt. Sinai hospital has a special Shabbos elevator that stops on every floor, so people don't have to complete a circuit to get off.

 

I was once a Shabbos goy. A twenty-something woman on the street asked me to come into her apartment to unscrew the light in the refrigerator, because she and her roommates had forgotten to do that and sun had already set. Since the light would go on and off, they would be lighting a fire every time they opened the refrigerator. I said I'd do it if I could put my lit cigar on their window sill. I wasn't going to waste the fucker.

 

So much does Ha Shem love His special people that He chose from all the peoples of the world.

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     There are fridges (and other appliances) with sabbath settings.  They have a random timer on the circuit so that the person doesn't technically complete the circuit when they press the button or whatever.  You push the button and then some random time later (within reason of course) the event happens.  So you could push the button to open the door then it wouldn't open immediately but some random time within say ten seconds like someone noticed you and buzzed you in or something like that.  I don't really understand all the little loopholes but god does and that's what matters.

 

          mwc

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It's the same mindset as an orthodox Jewish student I knew in university.

 

We had one lavatory between about 4 (maybe 6) rooms, from memory.

 

He had to piss and shit in the dark on a Saturday unless someone was around to turn on the light for him.

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Castiel: This does sound like something from The Onion. Haha.

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"He had to piss and shit in the dark on a Saturday unless someone was around to turn on the light for him."

 

Hahahahahahahaha! Do people really need light just to go to the bathroom? In the place where they live?

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I just love the fact that they sue, rather than , I dunno, take their complaint to Yahweh.....Oh those of little faith......................

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Do people really need light just to go to the bathroom? In the place where they live?

I don't know about you, but I prefer to KNOW that my hiney is clean after pooping. I don't see how one can really know if the lights are out.
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Do people really need light just to go to the bathroom? In the place where they live?

I don't know about you, but I prefer to KNOW that my hiney is clean after pooping. I don't see how one can really know if the lights are out.

 

Dang it Fwee, I was just going to answer that and say they would still light to finish the paperwork.

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I'm not up Jewish Nutterism, but isn't the whole Sabbath thing supposed to be about rest?

 

If it isn't resting to flip a light switch or press a key fob, then how is it rest to use a 'traditional metal key'?

Oh, and the crapping in the dark guy...is he allowed to flush? Sometimes you have to jiggle the handle, and that seems kind of like a lot of work to me.

 

Now I have "Baby we're still Jewish, even if we're just crapping in the dark..." going in my head, to the tune of a Bruce Springsteen song.  

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Now I have "Baby we're still Jewish, even if we're just crapping in the dark..." going in my head, to the tune of a Bruce Springsteen song.

I get up on the sabbath.

And I ain't got nothin' to do.

I make my way to the vashtsimer.

Cuz, man, I really have to poo!

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Now I have "Baby we're still Jewish, even if we're just crapping in the dark..." going in my head, to the tune of a Bruce Springsteen song.

I get up on the sabbath.

And I ain't got nothin' to do.

I make my way to the vashtsimer.

Cuz, man, I really have to poo!

 

 

"I believe in Yahweh; I can't change my hair my clothes my face!"... (and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?) 

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(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. ;)
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(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

 

 

 

(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

 

 

If I have to Google it, it ain't funny in the first place. 

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(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

 

 

 

(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

 

 

If I have to Google it, it ain't funny in the first place. 

 

 

And yes, Fwee, I read between the lines twice.

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now I understand why hitler wanted to kill Jew :P

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now I understand why hitler wanted to kill Jew tongue.png

 

You have issues.

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(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

 

(and WTF is a 'vashtsimer? Is that New Speak for saxophone solo?)

If you don't Google it, the joke loses its effect. wink.png

If I have to Google it, it ain't funny in the first place.

And yes, Fwee, I read between the lines twice.
According to google, it's Yiddish for bathroom.

 

NOW does it make sense?

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"He had to piss and shit in the dark on a Saturday unless someone was around to turn on the light for him."

 

Hahahahahahahaha! Do people really need light just to go to the bathroom? In the place where they live?

 

Well, there were no windows, so if a man wants to be sure of aiming straight...

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