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Goodbye Jesus

Logic That Atheists Just Can't Refute


Guest sylensikeelyoo

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My god! You really should write a book defending the FSM faith. That's some seriously funny stuff.

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stock-photo-pasta-necklace-47695468.jpg

 

To the FSM Pope and College of Cardinals:

 

I am proposing a new type of meditation prayer for those of us who are looking for the deep meaning of the mystery of faith. It is called the Pasta Rosary Prayer and the pasta rosary necklace above will assist us in our journey. This prayer is using the repetition of Hail Cook because the Cook can help convey our deep yearning for FSM noodly appendage to touch us better since the Cook played an important part in the manifestation of FSM on earth.

 

These is the rough draft of our proposal:

1. It begins with FSM sign - twirling of our arms signifying the different forms of pasta

2. Hold the knot where the string is tied and recite the Pasta Creed

3. Recite Hail Cook on the first penne and repeat until reaching the bow tie pasta

4. Recite Our FSM prayer for every time we reach a bow tie pasta

5. When we reach the end, we would say Ramen.

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Guest sylensikeelyoo

My god! You really should write a book defending the FSM faith. That's some seriously funny stuff.

* HIGH FIVES*

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my sides hurt so bad! YOU GUYS ARE TOO MUCH!!! yelrotflmao.gif

If you think we're too much, try my balls of meat and huge manicotti on for size...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was a pasta joke for those with thin skin.

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Guest sylensikeelyoo

 

my sides hurt so bad! YOU GUYS ARE TOO MUCH!!! :yelrotflmao:

If you think we're too much, try my balls of meat and huge manicotti on for size...

That was a pasta joke for those with thin skin.

Wooo!!!! Freethawt you naughty naughty boy! Lolz

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Pirates are the chosen people of the FSM. This much is quite certain. How else are we to explain global warming?

 

PiratesVsTemp.png

 

Still, your question has prompted significant reflection on my part. As I meditated on it last night, I fell into a trance resembling a deep sleep. The FSM appeared to me and graced me with a vision. He revealed to me that the octopi were His first and most treasured creations. He made them in His own image. But they grew prideful and rebellious, and so he took their meatballs and cast them unto the depths. But there was one octopus whose name was "Rate". Rate and his family remained faithful to the FSM in defiance of their brethren, and for this the FSM blessed them. He raised them out of the murky waters and set them upon a vessel which he crafted for them. He changed their form so that they no longer resembled their cursed kin, and He tasked them with going forth into the world to be fruitful and carry with them their knowledge of His noodliness. Thus, Rate and his family became the first of the Pirates (initially known as the "OctopiRates"), and their descendants remain the chosen people of the FSM to this very day.

 

Then I awoke, and beheld that it was a dream. Let those who can find wisdom in these words rejoice!

 

The prophet of the FSM has spoken...I must believe. Only a man of the Spaghetti could have such visions!

 

But just one more question, if I may...only seventeen pirates in the year 2000? That seems low.

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my sides hurt so bad! YOU GUYS ARE TOO MUCH!!! yelrotflmao.gif

If you think we're too much, try my balls of meat and huge manicotti on for size...

That was a pasta joke for those with thin skin.

Wooo!!!! Freethawt you naughty naughty boy! Lolz

 

 

Please be careful dealing with the atheist, sister Sy.  

 

You are dealing with someone that denies that pasta and noodles are the same thing.  I'm just learning more about the FSM than I ever knew, but even I know it's dangerous to engage with someone that doesn't believe in the (I think it's called) hypostatic onion.

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Guest sylensikeelyoo

 

 

 

my sides hurt so bad! YOU GUYS ARE TOO MUCH!!! :yelrotflmao:

 

If you think we're too much, try my balls of meat and huge manicotti on for size...

That was a pasta joke for those with thin skin.

Wooo!!!! Freethawt you naughty naughty boy! Lolz

 

Please be careful dealing with the atheist, sister Sy.  

 

You are dealing with someone that denies that pasta and noodles are the same thing.  I'm just learning more about the FSM than I ever knew, but even I know it's dangerous to engage with someone that doesn't believe in the (I think it's called) hypostatic onion.

You are so right my brother, but his blatant disregard for his noodliness and rebellious attitude is just so fucking hawt.

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You are so right my brother, but his blatant disregard for his noodliness and rebellious attitude is just so fucking hawt.

Come away with me and we will join my manicotti with your pansotti. And in thereafter, thou shalt knowest the difference between pasta and noodle.
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Pirates are the chosen people of the FSM. This much is quite certain. How else are we to explain global warming?

 

PiratesVsTemp.png

 

Still, your question has prompted significant reflection on my part. As I meditated on it last night, I fell into a trance resembling a deep sleep. The FSM appeared to me and graced me with a vision. He revealed to me that the octopi were His first and most treasured creations. He made them in His own image. But they grew prideful and rebellious, and so he took their meatballs and cast them unto the depths. But there was one octopus whose name was "Rate". Rate and his family remained faithful to the FSM in defiance of their brethren, and for this the FSM blessed them. He raised them out of the murky waters and set them upon a vessel which he crafted for them. He changed their form so that they no longer resembled their cursed kin, and He tasked them with going forth into the world to be fruitful and carry with them their knowledge of His noodliness. Thus, Rate and his family became the first of the Pirates (initially known as the "OctopiRates"), and their descendants remain the chosen people of the FSM to this very day.

 

Then I awoke, and beheld that it was a dream. Let those who can find wisdom in these words rejoice!

 

The prophet of the FSM has spoken...I must believe. Only a man of the Spaghetti could have such visions!

 

But just one more question, if I may...only seventeen pirates in the year 2000? That seems low.

 

 

I'd imagine the Somali P.I.N.O.'s and the like don't count, but I'll defer to more authoritative sources for confirmation or denial. Though if digital pirates count then that number is extremely low... But if the number is artificially low then that means something is wrong with that theory... If that theory is wrong then what rea-....

 

ThAT nUMBer seEMS tot-t-t-t-t.....

 

....

 

Nothing is wrong with that estimation, any error is just the noodley one obfuscating reality for his own reasons... Why is there so much empty space between this line and the quote box? Eh, whatever...

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Only true-hearted, peace-loving, swashbuckling scallywags are considered. Not all those who claim the name of "pirate" are pirates of the FSM. Somali pirates and digital pirates are heretics of the worst kind.

 

Also, the number of pirates is approximate. His Noodliness has chosen to obfuscate the true number for his own reasons.

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I'm actually going to have to disagree on digital piracy, it alone is sometimes the only option for being able to play some old, and even not that old, abandon-ware, or just otherwise completely unavailable games that would be lost to corporate BS and other end user unfriendly practices. Unless we are talking about bootleggers and the like, then yeah, I'd agree. But I suspect that's a hell of a lot more serious then I should be taking this, carry on.

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I'm actually going to have to disagree on digital piracy, it alone is sometimes the only option for being able to play some old, and even not that old, abandon-ware, or just otherwise completely unavailable games that would be lost to corporate BS and other end user unfriendly practices. Unless we are talking about bootleggers and the like, then yeah, I'd agree. But I suspect that's a hell of a lot more serious then I should be taking this, carry on.

 

They are heretics only in as much as they identify as "pirates". The activity itself is not forbidden by the FSM! But they are not truly pirates.

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Ohhh, I see. disregard my criticism then.

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I'm so confused.  I don't know from pirates. I just want more of HIM.

 

Please pray for me. I just want the FSM to just come in to me and just show me his noodly love and just make my whole life al dente.

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That's quite the video.  I hope those nice young ladies earned enough to buy some nice shirts.   0-picture.gif

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I'm so confused. I don't know from pirates. I just want more of HIM.

 

Please pray for me. I just want the FSM to just come in to me and just show me his noodly love and just make my whole life al dente.

Careful what you wish for...

CJ028_cUcAAIVqI.jpg

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I'm so confused. I don't know from pirates. I just want more of HIM.

 

Please pray for me. I just want the FSM to just come in to me and just show me his noodly love and just make my whole life al dente.

Careful what you wish for...

CJ028_cUcAAIVqI.jpg

 

 

Yes! YES! I SEE IT NOW!  This is the pre Big Bang FSM!!  He is about to unleash the entire Universe from a condom filled with himself!!  /sarc

 

Nice try, Atheist! Any real al dente noodles would have poked out the sides of the condom already, and your version of god would just be leaking on the wooden floor.  

 

 

I may not know from pirates, but the FSM will protect me from unbelievers like you. I know that much.

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So, nothing from you, Fweethawt?  

 

Ha!  Atheist: 0  FSM believer, even though confused?: 1

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Catt for the win

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