Popular Post YeahScience Posted September 24, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted September 24, 2015 Hello, everyone! I'm a 34-year-old work from home wife, momma, and pastor's daughter from Atlanta. I first got involved in church at the age of 13. My parents put me in church thinking it would keep me out of trouble. I've had several horrible experiences in Baptist churches. I've wavered back and forth between Christianity and various religions since the age of 20. My most recent religious exploits include a 3-year stay at the local Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church, where I tried to be fully immersed in the culture. I shunned secular music and books. I wore ankle length skirts and dresses only. I read the King James version of the Bible exclusively. This never felt right, but I tried to really play the part. I thought, perhaps, if I really put my all into talking the talk and walking the walk that something would click. All the years I was involved (heavily) in church, I tried reaching deep within myself to feel that sensation Christians so often testified about. The knowledge, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus died for our sins. It all seemed like I was standing outside of myself looking in. It never felt like it was a part of me. I was going through all of the motions, trying to make it work, but I never had that feeling. I could memorize Bible verses and pray the most beautiful prayers at ladies' meetings, but it all felt very surreal. After we were kicked out of our IFB church, because I posted things on my FB page about helping the homeless (it was said I was, perhaps, a little too liberal to fit in with the congregation), I felt that same familiar feeling I felt when I was 20 and was kicked out of my church for divorcing my abusive husband. It was a grief and betrayal I cannot adequately describe. Family kept telling me I couldn't abandon my faith just because of the bad behavior of a handful of Christians. The problem was it wasn't just a handful of Christians. When I pointed this out I was told, "Christians aren't perfect. Just forgiven." That seemed like a cop-out. I dabbled in Wicca, but it felt hokey. I studied Buddhism, but the concept of denying pleasure didn't resonate with me. When it dawned on me that I'm an atheist I was terrified to admit it to myself. I mean, it was bad enough I wasn't a Christian, but to not believe in any higher power? No one knows. I haven't even told my husband yet, and he isn't a Christian. I can never tell my parents. My dad is a pastor and I still attend his church once a week in a show of family solidarity. Fortunately it's a liberal congregation, so it's not as if I'm having to suffer through hellfire and brimstone sermons, but still.It feels as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I am comfortable with my atheism, but not to the point of being "out". Well, let's face it - for many of us in the Bible Belt, being "out" isn't exactly safe. I don't mind not blasting it for everyone to know, but I'm so grateful for this community where I can actually be myself. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Welcome to freedom! Thanks for sharing your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsathoggua Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Welcome! I enjoyed reading your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Welcome, YeahScience! I'm so sorry you were looked down on for divorcing an abusive husband and helping the homeless; that is just insane reasoning on their part. I can see you really tried to make religion work for you somehow, but it just didn't. I spent about 25 years as an agnostic really trying to find a reason to believe, but never found a good one. This is a good place to be, and to learn, and to vent. Welcome again! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 24, 2015 Moderator Share Posted September 24, 2015 Welcome, YeahScience! Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Welcome to Ex-c. " I am comfortable with my atheism, but not to the point of being "out". Well, let's face it - for many of us in the Bible Belt, being "out" isn't exactly safe. I don't mind not blasting it for everyone to know, but I'm so grateful for this community where I can actually be myself." Contrary to Christian culture you are not required to share your religious (or non-religious) beliefs with anyone. It's personal information and it's nobody else's business. And atheism has no Great Commission. Enjoy your time here. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlowerDemon Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Welcome to Ex-C, thanks for sharing your story with us. It is nice to find a community like this to share how you feel about Christianity and why you decided to not be a Christian anymore. This site is kind of like a support group to me...where I can hear other people's insights and experiences that are similar to mine. Deconversion is never easy either, and it helps to have people who will support you along the way. It was very emotional for me and still is a little bit, but I think I've become comfortable with where I'm at right now, and it's my hope that you will find comfort in your atheism. Remember, they are YOUR beliefs, not anyone elses. And you are doing what's right for you, by having beliefs that are truly yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahScience Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Contrary to Christian culture you are not required to share your religious (or non-religious) beliefs with anyone. It's personal information and it's nobody else's business. And atheism has no Great Commission. Enjoy your time here. ^This is an excellent, and very comforting, way of looking at it. Thank you for sharing this. I really don't have any obligation to broadcast my beliefs, or lack thereof. And that you to everyone for the warm welcome. It's good to be here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Welcome! Sounds like you found the right place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahScience Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Welcome! Sounds like you found the right place! Thank you Oh, I wanted to post some great news. I worked up the nerve tonight to at least tell my husband. We were at Wal-Mart and I whispered, "um, I have something I need to tell you. I think I'm...uh" and he chuckled and said, "an atheist?" He stuck out his hand, shook mine and said, "welcome to the club". I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner. He said, "I was afraid you'd be upset". Whew! What a relief! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Welcome! Sounds like you found the right place! Thank you Oh, I wanted to post some great news. I worked up the nerve tonight to at least tell my husband. We were at Wal-Mart and I whispered, "um, I have something I need to tell you. I think I'm...uh" and he chuckled and said, "an atheist?" He stuck out his hand, shook mine and said, "welcome to the club". I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner. He said, "I was afraid you'd be upset". Whew! What a relief! That is great news! It's just funny you were at Wal-Mart! I'm glad you and your husband are on the same page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlowerDemon Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Welcome! Sounds like you found the right place! Thank you Oh, I wanted to post some great news. I worked up the nerve tonight to at least tell my husband. We were at Wal-Mart and I whispered, "um, I have something I need to tell you. I think I'm...uh" and he chuckled and said, "an atheist?" He stuck out his hand, shook mine and said, "welcome to the club". I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner. He said, "I was afraid you'd be upset". Whew! What a relief! lol that is awesome! it is wonderful to be with a man who will be accepting of you, regardless of faith (or in your case, lack of). One thing I could not stand about Christianity is how there's so much negative stigma about being a Christian and dating a non-believer. It's funny cuz even though there is a verse that says to not be "unevenly yoked", there are also a couple of verses that have something positive to say about a Christian and a non-christian being married. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 peter 5:1) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Corinthians 7:13-14) It's crazy how so many Christians have different ideas of what god wants them to do/not to do. But they supposedly follow the same god, who blessed humanity with a bible that is misleading and contradicting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Hello, everyone! I'm a 34-year-old work from home wife, momma, and pastor's daughter from Atlanta. I first got involved in church at the age of 13. My parents put me in church thinking it would keep me out of trouble. I've had several horrible experiences in Baptist churches. I've wavered back and forth between Christianity and various religions since the age of 20. My most recent religious exploits include a 3-year stay at the local Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church, where I tried to be fully immersed in the culture. I shunned secular music and books. I wore ankle length skirts and dresses only. I read the King James version of the Bible exclusively. This never felt right, but I tried to really play the part. I thought, perhaps, if I really put my all into talking the talk and walking the walk that something would click. All the years I was involved (heavily) in church, I tried reaching deep within myself to feel that sensation Christians so often testified about. The knowledge, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus died for our sins. It all seemed like I was standing outside of myself looking in. It never felt like it was a part of me. I was going through all of the motions, trying to make it work, but I never had that feeling. I could memorize Bible verses and pray the most beautiful prayers at ladies' meetings, but it all felt very surreal. After we were kicked out of our IFB church, because I posted things on my FB page about helping the homeless (it was said I was, perhaps, a little too liberal to fit in with the congregation), I felt that same familiar feeling I felt when I was 20 and was kicked out of my church for divorcing my abusive husband. It was a grief and betrayal I cannot adequately describe. Family kept telling me I couldn't abandon my faith just because of the bad behavior of a handful of Christians. The problem was it wasn't just a handful of Christians. When I pointed this out I was told, "Christians aren't perfect. Just forgiven." That seemed like a cop-out. I dabbled in Wicca, but it felt hokey. I studied Buddhism, but the concept of denying pleasure didn't resonate with me. When it dawned on me that I'm an atheist I was terrified to admit it to myself. I mean, it was bad enough I wasn't a Christian, but to not believe in any higher power? No one knows. I haven't even told my husband yet, and he isn't a Christian. I can never tell my parents. My dad is a pastor and I still attend his church once a week in a show of family solidarity. Fortunately it's a liberal congregation, so it's not as if I'm having to suffer through hellfire and brimstone sermons, but still. It feels as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I am comfortable with my atheism, but not to the point of being "out". Well, let's face it - for many of us in the Bible Belt, being "out" isn't exactly safe. I don't mind not blasting it for everyone to know, but I'm so grateful for this community where I can actually be myself. Welcome to this forum. Your situation is common. You have overcome religious indoctrination internally but you are now faced with external religious peer pressure. Often, the peer pressure is the more difficult part to resolve. Many struggle with this for quite some time, some for decades. What I have observed is that people who finally come "out" to their peers do so because they decide being completely honest is the best action, on balance. Most of these folks also report that the blowback from coming out is less than originally feared, although it still results in significant change. Your peer pressure situation seems greater than most, which is unfortunate, but it is what it is. You will find many members here who have addressed religious peer pressure who should be able to provide valuable insights and counsel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Welcome here Ms Welcome Science... Advise from Board Fatman? "Joke'um if they can't take a fuckin'! " Best place on.ass while on.line to help clear religions foggy crap outa your your brain pan while letting all that nice natural sunshine in. Pull up a seat, join in as you care and have a safe haven to let your mind work sans proctors and bosses. kevinL, fence rider for WMDave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Welcome. Do what you need to do in terms of how much you tell people in the real world. This place is good for a safety valve when you need to reduce the pressure/let off steam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mychainsaregone Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Welcome, YeahScience! Ha that conversation with your husband sounds cool Go you for taking this step! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobCu Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 "for many of us in the Bible Belt, being 'out' isn't exactly safe." This is bad enough but in the Muslim theocracies anyone who throws out Islam is likely to be murdered by their own family. This is one of many reasons the god-soaked have my contempt. They have zero moral values. I suggest don't hide the fact you accept reality. Being normal is something to be proud of. If your acceptance of reality makes idiots cry that's their problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Question; Why did you walk away from God? Answer: because I found the cell door was left open. Welcome, Yeahscience! And it's nice that your husband is on board too. Just be who you are. Atheists grade on the curve. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Greetings, YeahScience! Thanks for sharing your story. I am a little confused by this part, though: I'm I'm a 34-year-old work from home wife, momma, and pastor's daughter from Atlanta. I first got involved in church at the age of 13. My parents put me in church thinking it would keep me out of trouble. If you're a pastor's daughter, why did your parents wait until you were 13 to put you in church, and then only in an effort to keep you out of trouble? Did your father not become a pastor until you were older? Just curious. Regardless, congratulations on being freed from religion! It's also great to hear that your husband is also on the same page. (My wife is still a Christian, which can be frustrating at times. I wish she could see the light, but at least we still get along pretty well, so I can't complain too much.) Anyway, welcome to the sane side! Enjoy the journey ahead of you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 One thing I could not stand about Christianity is how there's so much negative stigma about being a Christian and dating a non-believer. It's funny cuz even though there is a verse that says to not be "unevenly yoked", there are also a couple of verses that have something positive to say about a Christian and a non-christian being married. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 peter 5:1) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Corinthians 7:13-14) It's crazy how so many Christians have different ideas of what god wants them to do/not to do. But they supposedly follow the same god, who blessed humanity with a bible that is misleading and contradicting. To be fair, I think the implication of those verses is that the believing spouse converted after being married. I don't think they're advocating that a believer would be in the right to enter into a marriage with a nonbeliever. (As a side note, the first reference is from chapter 3, not 5.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 As others have noted, you are under no obligation to reveal your religious status to anyone. Oh yeah, welcome aboard. Glad you found us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Welcome! I hope you are finding comfort and peace here. We're happy to listen and offer advice and support if we can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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