I Have A Degree In Bible And, Now I Don't Believe It Anymore. Need Advice

[TheDemonHunter]

I'm going through the same thing man. It's really tough trying to figure out what to do next, especially if the degree is unaccredited like mine is, which I assume yours is as well. I'm trying to get back to school eventually for a real degree in history, I would love to teach in a university some day.

[whitehot]

My way of approaching family was simply to discuss with them the questions that caused me to doubt the Bible and Christianity. I told them that I struggled with these questions and asked them what they thought the answers were. Part of me genuinely wanted them to say something convincing, part of me knew they couldn't. When their answers failed to satisfy me, I told them so and explained that I need to take the time to work out for myself what I believe outside of the context of what I was brought up with. Not just honesty, but heartfelt honesty backed up by good reasoning, and delivered with love. I'm not saying that it didn't put a lot of pressure on these relationships, but in time things began to settle and we all still love each other, there are just some things we don't discuss in the same way anymore. My mother was shocked that I was afraid she wouldn't love me as much anymore, and shocked at herself that she felt hurt and betrayed and less loving towards me - she has since confronted her demons so to speak and loves me as much as ever and accepts me unconditionally. You never know how these things can give others a chance to grow, even if it's painful. I learnt to stop tying my self worth to what she thought of me, and started being my true self. It's still complicated, but in a way we are now both free. The bible has a few nuggets of wisdom, and one is The truth shall set you free.

Welcome, and much love from a fellow journeyer

[aria]

Hey Mrian From my experience I can tell you one thing: you might be very surprised who would calmly accept your choices and even listen to your reasons and who would accuse you of the worst things and call you names. It might be the people you fear telling the most will be the ones that will stand by your side no matter what you believe, and people who you'd expect to take it lightly will attack you.

 

My deconverion started with questions that were very inconvenient to some people in the church (I'm actually also in the process of writing them down, but it takes me the longest time). Some of the people I saw once in my whole life started spreading rummors about me being a heretic, and that sitting by the same table with me should (seriously!) be considered a sin, they even had bible verses to support it. I laughted first time I heard it, but then some of my friends joined them, and started convincing others to cut all ties with me. From that point on my deconversion was very fast, I just had to get to the bottom of it all, to find the truth, find the answers to the questions those people were so offended by me even raising. And I did just that, and then I went even further. It was traumatic and confusing, at some point I was believing and not believing all at once, my mind was spinning out of control. But then I just knew.

 

I lost all of the friends that went to that church (but that was not a church my family and I attended). All of them. The person I considered my best friend started calling me names, telling me I'm just manipulative and trying to brainwash her, and that I must be really stupid (I didn't even try to pull her to my side, I just told her I was an atheist!)-and she never even 'walked her talk', she was a christian because her father was a pastor of that church, but me being an atheist was somehow too much for her to handle.

 

Then there was this other friend of mine, the only person I shared my questions with, who passed them to his parents who then started the crusade. He never even cared to listen to my reasons, he turned out to be an intellectual coward, which also hurt, as our friendship was very much of an intelectual nature. I felt betrayed.

 

After all of that I was a little bit more hesitant to tell anyone. My sister knew and was avoiding the subject at al cost, as if atheism was contagious. She did not want to hear anything about it, and she would openly oppose me in public discussions just in case anybody would figure out I was an atheist and so she was making sure nobody would think we shared our views.

 

I also shared my views with this christian couple. At first their reaction was extremely emotional, but now were on the same terms as we were before, it's all good.

 

Then there was this friend of mine, who works in a christian organisation. When I told her, she said that that made her sad because of everything that she believes but she listened to my reasons and even agreed with me on some of them. Our conversation was beautiful, and each could at least fathom where the other one was coming from.

 

My school friends also were very accepting and they admitted they also left religion a few years back (but for them christianity was always more of a cultural thing, so it wasn't that big of a deal for them)

 

but then there was the taughest part- telling my parents. From the very beginning I was very open with them about having doubts and questions, but I wasn't nearly as open about the conclusions i reached. Just like you, I didn't want to cause my parents unnecessery pain. I knew they wouldn't change my mind. I stopped going to church when I had my doubts. I had some very personal talks with my mom, and intellectual discussions on the bible with my dad. I let them know step by step the problems I had with some parts of the Bible.Then one day the subject of Jehova's witnesses surfaced, and I said that there are no biblical reasons to believe Jesus was God and mom asked if it meant I didn't believe Jesus was God and I confirmed. The conversation ended there, but some time later my mom said it broke her heart to hear that. So I never told her how much more there was of the things I did not believe, I never said I was an atheist. But now my mom figured it out anyways and she even jokes about it (and I don't deny). She's seen first hand that it didn't make me a bad person, so it seems like she doesn't mind, at least on the outside. I'm pretty sure her whole bible study group is praying for me, but I really don't mind.

 

You see, I would never in a million years have thought that my mom would ever be fine with me being an atheist. on the other hand it never even crossed my mind that those 'friends' of mine would reject me, espectally in such a nasty way, because of my deconversion. Maybe it would be best to reaveal the facts gradually, to share with the people you're closest with the whole process, not just the end results. but if you lose friends on the way- just let them go. they were never your friends to begin with.

 

I'm still quite lonely, to this day. Not only because of the friends that I lost, but also because there's nobody I can openly share this whole cluster of thoughts with. People that were never really deep into faith just do not get it and probably also do not care. people that are into the bible find my conclusions offensive. So it is a very solitary place to be an independent thinker, but it's still worth it. And this website is everything

[offtheromanroad]

Welcome, Mrian, and thank you so much for writing here. I have to disagree with those who say you should lie about your degree in Bible. I don't think it'd be good to do so, but then, I am from Europe, so things might be different over here. Not lying doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell everone about it, though... see my sidenote comment below.My one question would be: Since you already work in another field (banking as I understand), you have already started to leave your degree behind. You could maybe just keep working in that job for a while and find out what you really want to do and then either look for a job in that other field (if it isn't banking) or sign up for training in that other field (I am thinking part time studies, an evening class, a correspondence course, Open University) and then apply for a job. The nice thing is, it doesn't only have to be about getting a degree, you are now free to learn/study something that you are really interested in or passionate about (in a non-religous sense ;-)) and that you would like to do in the future. Your degree in Bible does not have to put limitations on you. You are now free to learn what you want to learn!

 

On a sidenote: I signed up for a one year Bible School when I was 20 and now sometimes think that it was a funny/strange decision. I also find it awkward. I also hesitate to tell people what I did that particular year since I live in a rather atheistic country, and "Bible School" makes people think you're a bit wacko. I have been trying to come to terms with that year and be honest about it - "I used to be religous" is what I usually say when I decide to tell people about it - and I don't tell everyone - it's none of their business if I don't want to tell them. I have to say that in a way, that year was good for my soul (for non-religous reasons, though). But I know one year is vey different from a degree. I just try to cut myself some slack and accept that this is what I did - and now, I am doing something different, and I don't have to be restricted by the expectations society puts on me. I am my own person, and you are, too, Mrian. We are free to be who we are, and to learn what we want to learn/study.