bird28 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Me and husband have been looking for a new place to rent. Today I found a listing that seems perfect in everything.... But the rent is too high. I called my uncle who lives nearby (we were looking at places near him) to see if he could help. Anyway I have a strong urge to pray hard for it... But my experience is that it does no good to do that, it didn't work in the past. It probably did 10 times or alot more good calling my uncle than if I just sat there praying. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 It's hard to break the habit. Recently I had my biggest prayer temptation yet when I misplaced my wallet. Eventually I found it right where I had left it so I got the same result but without the prayer. The ritual is ingrained into Christians so they don't know how to cope with stress without praying. But you can learn new things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 That's the one thing I still reflexively turn to in stress, as MM mentioned. Husband drove out of state last week for training and I had an urge to pray for his safety. Son started a croupy cough again a few nights ago (he has allergies) and I had an urge to pray. Daughter's attitude sucked mightily the other day and I had an urge to pray. It's really weird the first time you resist the urge after deconverting because you feel (or I felt, anyway) an emptiness/hollowness and a feeling of helplessness. There was nothing or at least not much I could about those situations and prayer always made me feel like I had at least done something. It's been long enough now that it's just an annoyance and I brush it off and move on. If something really big or tragic were to happen, though, I'm not sure how I would react. I guess it's just part of the "growing up" you do once you give up the idea of a "sky daddy". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 It's an automatic reflex that still crops up for me if I am really stressed. As soon as I recognise it, I see it for what it is and discard the idea. The important thing is not to beat yourself up over this happening... it's not your fault you were brainwashed. Congratulate yourself for having the ability to get away from Christianity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted November 22, 2015 Moderator Share Posted November 22, 2015 Yes bird28, I definitely went through the same thing. It is a reflex that we ex-cers do when there is any kind of problem. Now, I sit and meditate to soothing music for a few minutes and try to find a solution to any stressful problem I am having. It's funny that the praying we do is not about worshiping the lord anymore. Remember that prayer time was also supposed to be about just sitting there worshiping the creator. Has anyone done this. I haven't. My reaching out to prayer after deconverting was always about asking for something, never to worship. (hug) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird28 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 I don't think I've ever prayed to 'worship the lord". Either its a ritualized prayer before bed as a habit, or as people said out of stress thing. One lady even told me bad things happen because God wants us to talk to him and bad things make us pray, she claimed less bad things would happen if we prayed anyw. (Lady also told me I was full of demons after describing a legit psych problem) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted November 22, 2015 Moderator Share Posted November 22, 2015 I don't think I've ever prayed to 'worship the lord". Either its a ritualized prayer before bed as a habit, or as people said out of stress thing. One lady even told me bad things happen because God wants us to talk to him and bad things make us pray, she claimed less bad things would happen if we prayed anyw. (Lady also told me I was full of demons after describing a legit psych problem) That is right bird28. Prayer did involve asking god to protect and bless your loved ones and keep them safe. Also prayer was about guidance. And prayer was also about asking god to help you change things in your life. (or situations) In the Pentecostal church I was involved with, prayer was also about spending time with the lord in quietness and worship. I figured I better do this or he wouldn't listen to the rest of my requests when I was asking for something!! Lol So, in a way, we we taught that you might just manipulate the lord if you spent this time worshiping him and not asking for one thing!! What a joke. This, to me is exactly what you must do with some people before you can expect anything from them. Worship them first, then ask for a favor!! It's all such a stupid game.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird28 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 Yeah, this lady is Pentecostal. She also told me that me and my husband only take medications because we don't have enough faith. Our Evangelical Free minister at least believes in modern medicine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird28 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 And reading about some things. There is evidence that nobody wants to rent the place and it might be possible to negotiate the rent. Who wants to live in a 115 year old one bedroom house that is isolated in the country? We do! We want our bird feeders and our garden and big dog! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Yes bird28, I definitely went through the same thing. It is a reflex that we ex-cers do when there is any kind of problem. Now, I sit and meditate to soothing music for a few minutes and try to find a solution to any stressful problem I am having. It's funny that the praying we do is not about worshiping the lord anymore. Remember that prayer time was also supposed to be about just sitting there worshiping the creator. Has anyone done this. I haven't. My reaching out to prayer after deconverting was always about asking for something, never to worship. (hug) Oh man, that used to make me feel so guilty. I would thank him for things and ask him for things, but just could never do the worship thing. It sounded so stupid to me when I tried it, and I always thought, "What kind of ego-centric asshole needs to be constantly praised!?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dichotomy Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Yes this is definitely an ingrained habit that is difficult to quit, but you do eventually quit. I very occasionally have the urge to pray, as in, I think I've "prayed" merely once or twice in the last year. It just dwindled. Initially its difficult to know what to replace it with, that desire to seek guidance or share your thoughts and requests with god in the hope that he will answer and act on them, but for me I just gradually realised that it was just silly as I was only doing it instinctively and didn't actually believe. In fact I think the way I helped myself stop was by saying what I *really* wanted to say to god each time I started to pray, so it'd go something like.... "Lord, there's this house that I've seen that would be fantastic for us, actually no, why am I even talking to you, it's not like you're even *there* ffs, and if you are you clearly don't care, and by the way I hate you and don't ever want to set foot in one of your churches again. You're not even real, you're just a lie and you fucked my life up completely." It was both therapeutic *and* aided me to break the prayer habit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Nothing wrong with wanting to pray. Technically it won't hurt.....or help. Old habits are hard to break and when we run out of options we throw the hailmary since we feel like its not in our control but we need to do something. I bowed my head out of habit for a while at mealtimes long after giving up religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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