Mythra Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Here is the story of Achan the Shoplifter. To discourage the little ones from a life of crime. Just so no one thinks I'm embellishing the story, I'll give it to you straight from the pages of Yahweh's autobiography. Joshua Chapter 7 7 But the Israelites were unfaithful in regard to the devoted things[a]; Achanson of Karmi, the son of Zimri,[b] the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of them. So the Lord’s anger burned against Israel. 2 Now Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai, which is near Beth Aven to the east of Bethel, and told them, “Go up and spy out the region.” So the men went up and spied out Ai. 3 When they returned to Joshua, they said, “Not all the army will have to go up against Ai. Send two or three thousand men to take it and do not weary the whole army, for only a few people live there.” 4 So about three thousand went up; but they were routed by the men of Ai, 5 who killed about thirty-six of them. They chased the Israelites from the city gate as far as the stone quarries and struck them down on the slopes. At this the hearts of the people melted in fear and became like water. 6 Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground before the ark of the Lord, remaining there till evening. The elders of Israel did the same, and sprinkled dust on their heads. 7 And Joshua said, “Alas, Sovereign Lord, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? If only we had been content to stay on the other side of the Jordan! 8 Pardon your servant, Lord. What can I say, now that Israel has been routed by its enemies? 9 The Canaanites and the other people of the country will hear about this and they will surround us and wipe out our name from the earth. What then will you do for your own great name?” 10 The Lord said to Joshua, “Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?11 Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. 12 That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction. 13 “Go, consecrate the people. Tell them, ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow; for this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: There are devoted things among you, Israel. You cannot stand against your enemies until you remove them. 14 “‘In the morning, present yourselves tribe by tribe. The tribe the Lord chooses shall come forward clan by clan; the clan the Lord chooses shall come forward family by family; and the family the Lord chooses shall come forward man by man. 15 Whoever is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of theLord and has done an outrageous thing in Israel!’” 16 Early the next morning Joshua had Israel come forward by tribes, and Judah was chosen. 17 The clans of Judah came forward, and the Zerahites were chosen. He had the clan of the Zerahites come forward by families, and Zimri was chosen. 18 Joshua had his family come forward man by man, and Achan son of Karmi, the son of Zimri, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was chosen. 19 Then Joshua said to Achan, “My son, give glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and honor him. Tell me what you have done; do not hide it from me.” 20 Achan replied, “It is true! I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel. This is what I have done: 21 When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia,[c] two hundred shekels[d] of silver and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels,[e] I coveted them and took them. They are hidden in the ground inside my tent, with the silver underneath.” 22 So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran to the tent, and there it was, hidden in his tent, with the silver underneath. 23 They took the things from the tent, brought them to Joshua and all the Israelites and spread them out before the Lord. 24 Then Joshua, together with all Israel, took Achan son of Zerah, the silver, the robe, the gold bar, his sons and daughters, his cattle, donkeys and sheep, his tent and all that he had, to the Valley of Achor. 25 Joshua said, “Why have you brought this trouble on us? The Lord will bring trouble on you today.” Then all Israel stoned him, and after they had stoned the rest, they burned them. 26 Over Achan they heaped up a large pile of rocks, which remains to this day. Then the Lord turned from his fierce anger. Therefore that place has been called the Valley of Achor[f] ever since. And they lived happily ever after. So we see the penalty for shoplifting. Death by stoning. But not just Achan's death. His little sons and daughters, his sheep, even his cute little donkeys. I'm going to assume that Achan's wife was among those who met the flying rocks. We can only hope she wasn't with child, since that would have put God in a bad light. But, at least God was able to turn from his fierce anger after that. AMEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 God is love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 I wonder if it might make CNN if someone shoplifted from Walmart, and then Walmart sent out a squad of hitmen to eliminate his entire family, including their dog. Hmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 14 “‘In the morning, present yourselves tribe by tribe. The tribe the Lord chooses shall come forward clan by clan; the clan the Lord chooses shall come forward family by family; and the family the Lord chooses shall come forward man by man. 15 Whoever is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of theLord and has done an outrageous thing in Israel!’” 16 Early the next morning Joshua had Israel come forward by tribes, and Judah was chosen. 17 The clans of Judah came forward, and the Zerahites were chosen. He had the clan of the Zerahites come forward by families, and Zimri was chosen. 18 Joshua had his family come forward man by man, and Achan son of Karmi, the son of Zimri, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was chosen. 19 Then Joshua said to Achan, “My son, give glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and honor him. Tell me what you have done; do not hide it from me.” 20 Achan replied, “It is true! I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel. This is what I have done: 21 When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia,[c] two hundred shekels[d] of silver and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels,[e] I coveted them and took them. They are hidden in the ground inside my tent, with the silver underneath.” 22 So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran to the tent, and there it was, hidden in his tent, with the silver underneath. 23 They took the things from the tent, brought them to Joshua and all the Israelites and spread them out before the Lord. 24 Then Joshua, together with all Israel, took Achan son of Zerah, the silver, the robe, the gold bar, his sons and daughters, his cattle, donkeys and sheep, his tent and all that he had, to the Valley of Achor. 25 Joshua said, “Why have you brought this trouble on us? The Lord will bring trouble on you today.” Then all Israel stoned him, and The best part of this story was the method of the choosing. What they did was cast lots or draw straws. It may have involved a magic spell. God couldn't answer with words. You had to ask God a question using some kind of Ouija board with pre-selected answers. God couldn't give an answer that fell outside those pre-selected answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 You know, I just kind of skimmed over that part! Good catch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 23, 2015 Author Share Posted November 23, 2015 If I were a producer in hollywood, I'd make a movie called Achan's Story. You know, a nice bible-based tale. And I would zoom in on the kids of Achan as they were herded into the center of a bunch of zombie like hebrews with rocks in their hands. Then I would show each rock as it hit them and over and over again as they screamed and cried. And died. Because their father pocketed some bounty. Can you imagine the outrage from the religionists? The same ones who had tears in their eyes in admiration and adoration as Jesus was scourged in the passion of the christ movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Remember kids, our God is different from all those other gods because they ask for evil things like human sacrifice! In fact, it was the human sacrifice of all those innocent babies to Molech that made the Cannanites so bad that God was totally justified in wiping that people group off the face of the Earth. Our God is completely different than that and would never ask for the death of precious human beings in order to placate his anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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