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Goodbye Jesus

Ten Commandments That Would Have Changed The World


Fweethawt

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Would have, could have, and should have walked into a bar...

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Would have, could have, and should have walked into a bar...

and said, "Look at that dick!"

 

I'm sorry. What did they say to you again?!?

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This is a great article.  I agree with the improved ten commandments.  But keeping "thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother's milk" should be kept in all versions.  Forever.

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I especially enjoyed this:

 

Secularists had a good laugh a few years back, when Stephen Colbert nailed Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland, who had co-sponsored a bill requiring display of the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate chambers. “What are the Ten Commandments?” asked Colbert. Westmoreland came up with three.

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This is a great article.  I agree with the improved ten commandments.  But keeping "thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother's milk" should be kept in all versions.  Forever.

 

 

It refers to domesticated animals.  It means do not consume dairy and meat at the same meal.  The practice of calling human children "kid" didn't come along until thousands of years after the Bible was written and I would imagine is a phenomenon of languages such as English that evolved later.

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What? No milkshake with my in-and-out burger?  Fuck that.  

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Regarding the OP it would have been even better if the Bronze Age commandments were atheism and directions for following the scientific method.  If we could have kicked science off 3,000 years early . . .

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This is a great article. I agree with the improved ten commandments. But keeping "thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother's milk" should be kept in all versions. Forever.

It refers to domesticated animals. It means do not consume dairy and meat at the same meal. The practice of calling human children "kid" didn't come along until thousands of years after the Bible was written and I would imagine is a phenomenon of languages such as English that evolved later.
I always thought the saying that this commandment refers to not eating dairy and meat at the same time was just an apologetic reaction to cover up the complete stupidity of said command?

 

It plainly does NOT say anything about consumption.

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^^I know it's about a baby goat and not a human kid!  I still think it's a great commandment and would look great engraved on the side of the local county courthouse!

 

It's just such a random statement and so trivial compared to such issues as murder and stealing, that it tickles my funnybone.  

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     Genesis 18:8 "And he took cream and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and he placed [them] before them, and he was standing over them under the tree, and they ate."

 

     Oopsie.  Abraham serves god and his angels dairy and meat and the same time.  Maybe this meal is what causes god to make that commandment?  He must have gotten heartburn which caused him to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah which leads to the incest between Lot and this daughters.  So no more dairy and meat.

 

     Of course since Abraham supposedly followed the Torah before the was even a Torah the Jews jump through all sorts of hoops to make this not a problem.  But ignoring that we have angels eating this and god itself sitting down to a forbidden dinner all without so much as a peep.  You'd think that something that made one of the 10 commandments would get some sort of response when the guy making the rule is actually confronted with the disgusting meal in person but, nope, nothing.  I guess god can break his own rules before he writes them down or some other loophole we'll have to think up so this didn't actually happen how it says it happened.

 

          mwc

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wow, mwc. That's a new one on me. Thanks for presenting that info. So much crazy stuff in the ol' good book.

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  But keeping "thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother's milk" should be kept in all versions. 

Of course you don't boil a young goat in goat milk, any goat herder worth his weight in goat cheese knows that, a young goat is always cooked on the fire.  

 

[5] And one kid of the goats for a sin offering, to make an atonement for you:

[6] Beside the burnt offering of the month, and his meat offering, and the daily burnt offering,

and his meat offering, and their drink offerings, according unto their manner, for a sweet savour,

a sacrifice made by fire unto the LORD.

The Book of Numbers 29

 

Besides, heating of goat milk was done to pasteurize the milk before consumption.  

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

However, in regards to the 10 commandments, seems one would have to actually know what they were before writing about them, but apparently that didn't stop the

author of the article cited by the OP.   However, in Mark 12:29-30, it is written that Jesus even gave a clue regarding the 10 Commandments “...The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

 

While the author cited Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5 as the scriptural source for the 10 Commandments, neither contain the first Commandment written of in the passage of Mark 12, and is even written in the first verse of the fifth chapter of Deuteronomy "And Moses called all Israel, and said unto them, Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your ears this day, that ye may learn them, and keep, and do them."  One might consider what is written in the 29th verse of the 5th chapter in Deuteronomy:  "O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!"  

 

I am not sure what new 10 Commandments she claims to have found in Exodus 34, but maybe if she reads the entire Torah she might find the old 10 Commandments. 

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I am not sure what new 10 Commandments she claims to have found in Exodus 34, but maybe if she reads the entire Torah she might find the old 10 Commandments. 

 

 

 

Or better yet, read the Egyptian religion the Hebrews copied from.

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