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Goodbye Jesus

Handling Religious Conversations At Work


FlowerDemon

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..Or in a situation where you can't freely express yourself (like a family dinner).

 

I bring this up because the other day I was at work and I had a couple guests in the lobby. She mentioned how she plays guitar and I said "Oh I do also." Small talk, you know. But then she started talking about how she likes Christian artists like Chris Tomlin, etc.

 

I smiled and said "Oh yeah I've heard of Chris Tomlin." I was trying to be respectful while also not being fake...since I've HEARD of Chris Tomlin but I am no fan of his music.

 

So she went on about that, and then the other guest started talking theology/God nonsense with her. I got pretty quiet...I heard a lot of the stereotypical things I've heard before like "If a man says he doesn't believe in god, then he's lying to himself."

 

They started going on about how you basically have to do what the bible says. At one point I pitched in a small comment and said "Be a good person." The lady was like "Well just because you're a good person doesn't mean you'll go to heaven."

 

So I shut my mouth again as I listened to their discussion on what God meant by creating the "new earth" as mentioned in the Bible. The lady thought it meant that the world would literally end and the believers would get to start over with God in a paradise-like world. The guy said he thought it meant that the world is already passing away, with all of the sin in the world, and so therefore the "new earth" is already being made..like a slowly but surely progress. I said one more thing and said "Many people interpret things differently." She nodded and agreed "Yes" and then continued talking to the guy about it. She didn't seem bothered by my comment but seemed excited to continue the conversation she was having with the guy.

 

The first thing that occured in my mind was, "Do these people realize that they believe in 2 different ideas that they interpreted from the same book? do they realize that they claim to follow the same religion and worship the same God, even though their supposed "god" gave them 2 different ideas from the same book? Do they ever question why the Bible isn't clear and many people interpret it differently and there are thousands of Christian denominations? Do they ever stop to think that they are brainwashed?"

 

And then I experienced an uncomfortable flashback...back when I used to agree with everything the two guests were talking about, when following Jesus was the focus of my life, when I used to evangelize to my friends and other people even though deep down it made me uncomfortable to do it. Back when I saw the world as a "fallen world" and that everyone needed Jesus in their life in order to survive through the damaging sin that surrounds us, and to be the way god wanted us to be. Back when I was constantly trying to be how I thought God wanted me to be. and so forth

 

It made me uneasy to see the bullshit of Christianity so clearly, and then to see 2 kind people so ignorant believing all that bullcrap that really doesnt add up. I blocked out much of the conversation as soon as I felt that wave of uneasiness after the flashback.

 

Of course, I remained silent though. I remained respectful, when they were done talking I checked them into their rooms and told them to have a good night. 

 

I find it hard to bite my tongue in situations like that, where I cant openly express my thoughts/feelings about subjects like these...but I've always succeeded. Maybe saying a couple things, but mostly keeping quiet, is how I handle a religious conversation like this. But it always makes my head spin with all the things I would have said if it wasn't at work (hehe)

 

Tell us about a time you encountered a religious discussion at work or in a situation where you couldn't say what you wanted, how it made you feel, and how you handle situations like those.

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Usually I don't take breaks with other people at work but on the rare time I do I'm usually wearing headphones, playing with my phone and shutting up. My view is best to keep personal and professional as separate as possible.

 

Family wise I just don't really say anything and just look engaged mentally.

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Sometimes customers walk in and start chatting about how much God has blessed them by helping them through difficult times and so forth. That's not quite the same as what you described, because it isn't theological.

 

I work with a guy who is a volunteer pastor at his church. I often enjoy discussing Christianity with him. Sometimes the emotional stuff makes me uncomfortable, but usually I try to steer the conversation towards various theories about Noah's ark or whatever. I guess I'm weird, but I really enjoy those conversations. It's a nice break from the stress of work.

 

When people start talking too emotionally about how Jesus comes into our hearts, etc. - those are the conversations where I just smile and nod my head politely. smile.png They bring back bad memories when I used to worry that I was not "saved" because I had never felt Jesus in my heart like so many described.

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  • Super Moderator

"Well, isn't that nice! But let me ask you, have you ever read Dianetics? Now, there's a real revelation!"

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Avoid religion and politics at work. Even though we've all done it, it's not a good idea.

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I had one guy launch into an attack on gays in our lunchroom (we recently legalized gay marriage in Washington) and I interrupted him and told him to stop. The other guy present started saying that yeah, we should be careful because we don't know who has gay family or friends, and that we can police ourselves and not have to go to HR... He knew where it could go. The first guy came to me later and apologized. There are a few conservative believers in the group, others are Catholic and don't take it very seriously, others don't believe but tolerate it.

 

Another lead worker in my shop is openly Christian and I've heard him talking to others about demon influences on kids. I stay out of it unless it comes towards me, and it hasn't yet.

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As a side note I wasn't taking a break during this situation, the lady was waiting because there was an error with her method of payment and we were waiting on a call back from her company with a valid payment method. the guy just came in and started talking to her after I had already checked him into their room. They had that whole religious conversation right in front of me.

 

But yeah next time I just won't say shit even though it gets hard to bite my tongue. It's weird suddenly being on the other side...I used to wonder why people didn't believe in God, and now here I am witnessing a religious conversation...wondering why people do believe in God

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I cringe at things I once believed, and how I must have sounded.

 

I don't work outside the home and my closest family deconverted abut the same time. Even my husband seems to be going down that path. But we're going to have Christmas dinner with his mother and she's over the top religious. End times nuts. Even as a believer she made me uncomfortable with her crazy talk. She doesn't know about our unbelief, and because she is old and in ill health and would be devastated and over the top angry at this, causing her stress and anxiety, we will all just stay quiet and let her talk. I'm pretty good and redirecting the conversation and nodding in acknowledgement of what's been said. Not in agreement, but in acknowledgement. It helps me stay focused and not get sucked in.

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I've never had a religious conversation at work in the 4 years that I've been there, even though I work at a Christian-based organization (which is open to all faiths/no faiths in employees and clients) that regularly practices prayer and devotions at staff meetings and such.

 

I usually just keep quiet when coworkers bring things up, and have never been overtly asked my beliefs. I try to avoid one on one conversations with those I know are more religious.

 

In my case, I think a lot of Christians pretty much just assume that I too am Christian because I am a warm and kind person, and don't try to figure me out.. I've noticed this kind of thing outside of the office,as well.

 

Sometimes the overwhelming feeling of being a minority gets to me, but while I often want to call them out on their ideas, I generally don't feel like it's best to bring any of it up.. it's not important to my job.

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I generally try to avoid religious themed conversations at work. I worked with one guy, though, who would occasionally bring religion up, and I politely told him several times that I didn't want to discuss religion, and that it wouldn't be a conversation that he'd want to have either. Yet, he still kept bringing it up.

 

I really didn't want to have to tear into his religion, but he just wouldn't take a hint and leave the subject alone. Well, one day when he was pushing the issue, I'd finally had enough, so I laid into him and pointed out a bunch of problems with the Bible and Christian beliefs. Even though he'd been a Christian for longer than I'd been alive, he could not refute the points I was making. I caught him completely off guard with how much more I knew about his religion than he did. He brought religion up to me one more time a few weeks later, and I tore into him again and laid out additional problems with it.

 

After that, he never brought religion up again. I guess he finally learned his lesson that I was serious that he himself wouldn't want the religious conversation with me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I cringe at things I once believed, and how I must have sounded.

 

I don't work outside the home and my closest family deconverted abut the same time. Even my husband seems to be going down that path. But we're going to have Christmas dinner with his mother and she's over the top religious. End times nuts. Even as a believer she made me uncomfortable with her crazy talk. She doesn't know about our unbelief, and because she is old and in ill health and would be devastated and over the top angry at this, causing her stress and anxiety, we will all just stay quiet and let her talk. I'm pretty good and redirecting the conversation and nodding in acknowledgement of what's been said. Not in agreement, but in acknowledgement. It helps me stay focused and not get sucked in.

Sounds kind of like my grandmother lol. She gets so scared after hearing everything on the news and goes on about how Jesus is going to come back and all the horrible worldy events will soon come to an end. She's gone into detail about the war between the angels and the demons, and how the believers will join God in heaven while everyone else will perish. She thinks I'm a Christian still, even though I deconverted in August of 2015. I always nod and listen to what she has to say, without putting in my real two cents. She's also kind of old and going through a lot of hard times, so I do not want to stress her out further by coming out to her that I renounced Christianity once more, except this time for good. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I cringe at things I once believed, and how I must have sounded.

 

I don't work outside the home and my closest family deconverted abut the same time. Even my husband seems to be going down that path. But we're going to have Christmas dinner with his mother and she's over the top religious. End times nuts. Even as a believer she made me uncomfortable with her crazy talk. She doesn't know about our unbelief, and because she is old and in ill health and would be devastated and over the top angry at this, causing her stress and anxiety, we will all just stay quiet and let her talk. I'm pretty good and redirecting the conversation and nodding in acknowledgement of what's been said. Not in agreement, but in acknowledgement. It helps me stay focused and not get sucked in.

Sounds kind of like my grandmother lol. She gets so scared after hearing everything on the news and goes on about how Jesus is going to come back and all the horrible worldy events will soon come to an end. She's gone into detail about the war between the angels and the demons, and how the believers will join God in heaven while everyone else will perish. She thinks I'm a Christian still, even though I deconverted in August of 2015. I always nod and listen to what she has to say, without putting in my real two cents. She's also kind of old and going through a lot of hard times, so I do not want to stress her out further by coming out to her that I renounced Christianity once more, except this time for good. Some things are better left unsaid.

 

 

I think that's a very healthy attitude to have when dealing with elderly and /or sick people. No real need to cause stress.

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I get asked what church I go to all the time. I told one person I was a Dudeist, or belong to the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. They chuckled. Then since then I just tell people I'm agnostic or atheist (I don't have the patience to explain Ignosticism). Not once have I had a bad time. As long as you aren't a softie and have good thick skin and can dish as good as you get it. I worked in a lot of technical/grunt work fields so any answer you gave is grounds for shit-giving-and-taking. If I said Buddhist then I'dve been a hippie, if I said Lutheran I'd be a kraut, if I was a baptist I was gonna try and convert everybody, if I was a Mormon I'd be a wimpy joe or overly holier than thou, if I said atheist I was gonna try and sell Dickens to e'rybody. If I said agnostic, I was indecisive. If I said Muslim, I was Al-Qaeda. Anywho I just said non-religious which meant I watched Simpsons all day and went to sleep drunk. Not too bad for getting shit. Plus they told me what they were so I gave them shit right back. I've never had a bad experience. The only thing close to that is when people try to hint I should go to church with them or try selling their religion, I always ask 'em if they really wanna go there. They kind of get the hint I'll debate them and win, so they usually don't go for it. The one person that did admitted I had good points and said he was glad to have the conversation. We gave each other shit about it for awhile which was funny. Good guy. When missionaries from one church or another ruin our dinner I always tell 'em "not interested." And at college there were always rabid fire-and-brimstone preachers with pictures of abortions and stuff telling folks they were goin to hell. I asked em who goes to hell. "Booze drinkers, biker gangs, rock stars, pop divas, whores, hookers, strippers, Popists [i assume Catholics?], communists, muslims, Christians-in-name-only, pagans, the mormons and their false prophet, atheists, ......" "You know if those folks are in hell, it doesn't sound so bad....." "Well there's murderers and rapists there too!" He was mad, boy howdy. "Well we'll just kick them out and put them up in heaven." The look on his face was incredulous. Then I walked away and everyone behind me started laughing.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've experienced religious talk at work, but not with coworkers. I have to bite my tongue because I do not want to offend clients and make them feel uncomfortable. I think many christians feel uncomfortable when someone questions their faith or makes them doubt something they always assumed was true...the response will most likely be negative.

 

With family and work, I have not felt like I am able to comment when they talk religion. I usually just listen or make an excuse to leave the conversation for awhile. It bothers me sometimes that I can't express myself, but I guess I have found a few people I am able to talk openly with. I've also recently let one of my family members know I am an atheist, so that is one more person I can be real with. I think finding individuals I can talk openly about what I think helps me a lot, that's how I deal with not talking about it when it is brought up at random from christian views.

 

In the future I want to feel more comfortable jumping into conversations and giving them a different view, but I still would probably hold back on work related ones, or extreme religious family members (ones that wont hear you, just attack you for disagreeing). 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Overtime the topic of religion comes up at work, I vaguely want to throw up :(

 I tend to brush it over with " I'm a humanist but was raised Christian" and don't go into the uber- cultish evangelical christianity I got into at University because it hurts too much to talk about 

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Not work related, but I have fun with the Jehovah's Witnesses. :) I know the bible pretty good, and can give them a run for thier money. They don't know I'm "deconverted", maybe I should wear all my pentacle necklaces and have a glass of booze and a smoke when I answer the door?  :) Actually, aside from the religious stuff, the older of the pair is a pretty decent guy. He said he was divorced twice, the last time from his wife because when he became a JW, she said he was going to hell, because she was a staunch baptist. :)

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