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Goodbye Jesus

All Aboard The Cuckoo Train...


ABK

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Welcome to Ex-c ABK! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Wow!! What a story! You have been through a lot my friend. I came to the lord when I was 20 so I can't even imagine what is would be like growing up completely immersed in it. I was thinking as I read your testimony that your poor ole' mom probably thought that the 'lord' would protect everyone on that trip when you were a youngster. I'm sorry you lost your dad at such a young age.

 

You mentioned how nice it was to sit here and write this all out knowing that you were not going to be judged. I remember that feeling so clearly the night I joined and wrote to the gang here on the 20th of December. I was never so happy to come across a site that doubted the existence of  the christian god the way that I did. When they all validated my doubts, I felt so free because I always thought I was the only one who would dare question the 'authority' of the bible. I still love to read the testimonies because each and everyone validates my own non-belief. I love how you described the 'force' within yourself. That's kinda how I feel now.

 

I'm so happy you are here with us and It certainly sounds like you are well on your way to healing. It has taken me 5 years to form a 'somewhat' new world view. Sounds like you are way ahead......good for you.  There is lots of young  free-thinkers here at EX-c so you'll make some nice, new on-line friends who can totally relate to you. Welcome aboard the Ex-c train my friend! Good to have to and looking forward to reading more! 

 

Happy Holidays!

 

(hug)

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Glad you found this site abk. You have certainly had your share of challenges but it appears you have been able to find the strength to handle them. Most people never hear about the harm Christianity does, and would find a way to rationalize them if they did. Welcome aboard. I'm looking forward to reading more of your post.

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Thank you both for the kind welcome. The testimonies that people post here and on other sites are very valuable. I never felt like I was allowed to question the "authority" of the Bible because it is presented as "inspired by God". So the attitude is that it is always true even if you don't like it. 

 

The Bible has always had this spooky mystical quality to me because it contains a lot of unintelligible passages. The one thing that helped me get past that was when I began to understand the meaning behind the symbolism. Once that dawned on me, it was nowhere near as spooky and I immediately realized that the pretty much everything taught by Christianity is based on a total misunderstanding of their own text. Sadly, it has derailed our progress it caused so much suffering. 

 

I see at least two ways to help humanity move forward towards sanity... The first is to make people aware of the harm caused by Christianity. For that, I have put up the website www.christinsanity.org to help spread this awareness by featuring nothing but testimonies from ex-christians. The second way is to explain the symbolism in the Bible. Doing this would make it clear that it is not "god-inspired" and that Christianity does not understand its own text and is therefore not a legitimate religion. That will be an online magazine I am putting together.

 

I was debating sharing the website but it is more or less ready to use and I would really like to see thousands of stories on there one day, have it rank high in Google search and make people aware of the destruction caused by this religion, and importantly to make people aware that we are happier, more sane human beings without this delusion. 

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As far as I am concerned it is analogous to alcoholism and my real mother disappeared a long time ago....

 

 

Hi ABK!

 

Welcome to reality! beer.gif  I too see many similarities between Christianity and alcoholism: It's an unhealthy dependence that only destroys a person while promising life. Christianity gutted my life like a fish, and I grieve all that I threw into the fires of faith.

 

I will check out your site. I do look forward to reading more from you!! Stay in touch. 

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Amazing stuff, ABK. Glad you made it to the other side (sanity). Lots of people in your position never do. 

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I can't top what the others have said, ABK.  Just adding my own welcome to Ex-C. Thanks for posting your story. I hope you stick around!

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I think your extimony is one of the most well-written I have ever read. You will contribute significantly in helping others be set free.

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Well done what you wrote. Christianity is a mental illness. Unfortunately the victims don't realize how sick they are. The disease is usually incurable. It was easy for me to fix the problem. Throwing out the insanity made my mother very upset but her reaction made me realize I was doing the right thing.

 

I tell the theists this: Atheism is an acceptance of reality. Theism is a denial of reality. Take your pick.

 

The best video I have ever seen about reality: The Feynman Series - Beauty

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Welcome to ex-c! :)

 

I can't sympathize more with what you mean by your "attachment to Christianity" and how much it harmed your life. I let the casual, cultural religion I was raised with turn into a full-blown zealous addiction, and I have only recently discovered how deeply that addiction affected me and virtually all of the choices I made in my life. Only now am I undoing the damage, and it's a long process, indeed.

 

Now that you've taken the path out of the rabbit hole, you're seeing how much freer life can be, now that you're free to accept or reject concepts and ideas based on facts and evidence and genuine altruism, not on religious dogma or fear of an angry god. It's an unsettling adventure at times, but that's the case with all adventures, and the discomfort you will (and have) faced at times is only temporary! Stick to the path, stick to the adventure - so much better than the gilded cage of religion, as you are already discovering. 

 

Welcome to sanity! :)

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Welcome.  Enjoy the site.

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Welcome!  I love what you wrote, and how you wrote, about the xian's claim of "relationship, not religion."  I too believe that religion is about control.  And money.  

 

What you wrote about original sin and atonement is also brilliant.

 

Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say!

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Thank you so much for the kind welcomes and support. I'm taking it all in... Its really good to know that this community exists. I felt pretty vulnerable after posting here... its really nice to receive the supportive feedback from everyone and I hope that my testimony helps others to deprogram and find a better life than the "gilded cage" of religion (@Lycorth :)

 

@TrueScotsman Yes, definitely. Counseling is a great source of support and helped me work through a lot. I also found support in 12 step programs for what is described as sexual anorexia related to trauma. After a few years I decided to move on (some of the cult issues made it difficult to be around) and today I still keep in touch with several friends from the community. Always working on becoming a better person by taking responsibility for my own happiness.

 

@BobCU There is definitely association between mental illness and Christianity. It seems to attract a certain type of human... We are all growing and I think mental illness is part of that. I worked through my own and am still doing some work. The video you linked is absolutely beautiful. I like what Feynman said about being ok with not knowing the answer. I believe that also. Incidentally he was one of my dad's professors. I like this video a lot, both the visuals and the voiceover. Feynman was a really cool human being. 

 

@Lycorth Wow. If my mother ever said those words, I would be the happiest person in the world. I like your term the gilded cage of religion. That's a good description. Glad to hear that you found your way out of it. Thank you for the support smile.png

 

I hope you all enjoy the New Year! 

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  • 2 weeks later...

After talking to my mother yesterday, I came away with a more complete picture of the accident that killed my dad, and basically began my life when I was 2 ½ years old. She did indeed give in to his pushing to do the bike trip that killed him, and I think her actions indirectly contributed to his death. What I find very disturbing, is that she chose to put me at risk in order to save their marriage. Then I learn that shortly after he died she felt relieved that he wasn't around to pester her anymore. 

 

I believe that my mother's Christian faith enabled her codependence which was a factor in my dad's death. She initially refused to go on that trip, and everyone was on her side. She then caved because he insinuated that they might get divorced if she didn't go. Apparently she had no problem with exposing her toddler to the risk of being hit by a car if it might save their marriage. Turns out he was the one who got hit.

 

My mother wanted to enter a convent when she was 25 and become a nun. Then she met my father who insisted on doing everything his way. Then he died. Then she got a couple million from his life insurance. She didn't even help my grandparents out with the cost of burying their son. When my dad died, 300 people came to his funeral, some flew in from other states. A lot of people cared about him. 

 

I have never seen her work to support herself. She has not had to work since she was 30 because of his life insurance money.

 

Yesterday she told me how, after he died, she felt relieved that he wasn't around to control her anymore.

 

Good for her. How wonderful that he is not around to pester her anymore. How wonderful that she never has to work to support herself and can learn to play a $20,000 harp and spend all her time with her church community. I wouldn't want to bother her with any of my grief. 

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That really sucks, ABK! Sorry you have a mother like that.

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Wow, such a great read! Thanks for sharing! I can relate to a lot of that. I mean, a lot. I don't know when your mother remarried but I've been fatherless my entire life. My mother has no identity other than her faith. I have no idea what she even likes except for Eschatology and researching religious bullshit. She's unreasonable, irrational and just not very smart. Thanks to religion, no question. She's spent her entire life researching fairy-tales when that time could have been spent gaining real, true knowledge of the world, people, our history etc... It's such a shame. Religion is a thief. 

 

I also relate to your post-religion happiness. I was so unhappy as a believer but now, I'm no longer confused and I'm far more accepting of others and more empathetic. Just more evidence the faith is bullshit. None of the claims hold water.

 

You are so right about religion being a malignant ideology for society. It causes way more damage than any good it brings to the table. It's a destructive, vile force that may be our undoing. 

 

Anyway, welcome to the truth and congratulations on your escape.

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After talking to my mother yesterday, I came away with a more complete picture of the accident that killed my dad, and basically began my life when I was 2 ½ years old. She did indeed give in to his pushing to do the bike trip that killed him, and I think her actions indirectly contributed to his death. What I find very disturbing, is that she chose to put me at risk in order to save their marriage. Then I learn that shortly after he died she felt relieved that he wasn't around to pester her anymore. 

 

I believe that my mother's Christian faith enabled her codependence which was a factor in my dad's death. She initially refused to go on that trip, and everyone was on her side. She then caved because he insinuated that they might get divorced if she didn't go. Apparently she had no problem with exposing her toddler to the risk of being hit by a car if it might save their marriage. Turns out he was the one who got hit.

 

My mother wanted to enter a convent when she was 25 and become a nun. Then she met my father who insisted on doing everything his way. Then he died. Then she got a couple million from his life insurance. She didn't even help my grandparents out with the cost of burying their son. When my dad died, 300 people came to his funeral, some flew in from other states. A lot of people cared about him. 

 

I have never seen her work to support herself. She has not had to work since she was 30 because of his life insurance money.

 

Yesterday she told me how, after he died, she felt relieved that he wasn't around to control her anymore.

 

Good for her. How wonderful that he is not around to pester her anymore. How wonderful that she never has to work to support herself and can learn to play a $20,000 harp and spend all her time with her church community. I wouldn't want to bother her with any of my grief. 

She sounds a lot like my mom. Thinking mostly of herself. She probably never thought about you being fatherless, just that he wasn't around to pester her anymore. It really exposes her self-centered thinking. 

 

So sorry man. That's tough shit to deal with. 

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After talking to my mother yesterday, I came away with a more complete picture of the accident that killed my dad, and basically began my life when I was 2 ½ years old. She did indeed give in to his pushing to do the bike trip that killed him, and I think her actions indirectly contributed to his death. What I find very disturbing, is that she chose to put me at risk in order to save their marriage. Then I learn that shortly after he died she felt relieved that he wasn't around to pester her anymore.

 

I believe that my mother's Christian faith enabled her codependence which was a factor in my dad's death. She initially refused to go on that trip, and everyone was on her side. She then caved because he insinuated that they might get divorced if she didn't go. Apparently she had no problem with exposing her toddler to the risk of being hit by a car if it might save their marriage. Turns out he was the one who got hit.

 

My mother wanted to enter a convent when she was 25 and become a nun. Then she met my father who insisted on doing everything his way. Then he died. Then she got a couple million from his life insurance. She didn't even help my grandparents out with the cost of burying their son. When my dad died, 300 people came to his funeral, some flew in from other states. A lot of people cared about him.

 

I have never seen her work to support herself. She has not had to work since she was 30 because of his life insurance money.

 

Yesterday she told me how, after he died, she felt relieved that he wasn't around to control her anymore.

 

Good for her. How wonderful that he is not around to pester her anymore. How wonderful that she never has to work to support herself and can learn to play a $20,000 harp and spend all her time with her church community. I wouldn't want to bother her with any of my grief.

That's really shitty, ABK. I'm so sorry, you deserve better.

Also, really liked your story. My dad reminds me of your mom, but not too her extent. Welcome! :)

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