Prometheus Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I was extremely depressed the other day because I took a job in an isolated area where I have few friends, and although the work pays well, I have absolutely no interest in it. I asked my Fundamentalist mother what's the point of living if you're lonely and you're not even doing something you care about. Now, she's terrible at encouraging and has no idea how to use real arguments or the "think positive" mindset--it's not even part of her vocabulary. All she can do is refer to fables and make-believe things like "The Lord"... Anyway, her response was, "Well, for a Christian, the joy doesn't come from doing what *WE* want to do, but from knowing that we're serving the Lord." That's it. So I'm supposed to stop wanting to do something I don't hate, because that would be selfish. That was supposed to "encourage" me, an atheist. How the hell would you respond to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Well, first of all, I don't know if you're thinking of harming yourself (because you asked your mother what is the point of living), but don't do that and get professional help if you are considering that. Ending your life does nothing for you except take away your every chance of things getting better. Jobs, social situations and moods are temporary; death isn't. To your mother's statement, I'd say joy comes from finding meaning in your life, part of which is productivity. There's nothing wrong with having a job you enjoy, and if "the lord" has a problem with your getting intrinsic enjoyment from your job, then obviously he doesn't have your best interests in mind - but he isn't real, so it doesn't matter. Christians have this weird idea that doing things for themselves and things they like to do is selfish. That's dumb. Selfishness is something that hurts other people, and if you are helping others in any way while having fun at the same time, then good for you! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I wouldn't respond to it, and I wouldn't ask her for encouragement knowing she's not good at that stuff. If you can, work towards changing your situation, such as applying for jobs elsewhere. Or, see it as a good choice for now and find things you enjoy doing in your spare time until you can move on to something better. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I probably wouldn't share things with her, any longer. Coming back to the faith, I don't offer platitudes to anyone who doesn't believe as I do. I think that it's important to find people who are positive in life, whether atheist or theist, and spend time cultivating those types of relationships. And working on seeing the beauty in each day, even if it's just a kind word someone tosses your way, or a sunset. Those brief moments add up to a beautiful life, so be careful not to miss them. ((hug)) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Prometheus, I was extremely depressed the other day because I took a job in an isolated area where I have few friends, and although the work pays well, I have absolutely no interest in it. Isolated area? Travel some, find a hopefully accurate map, compass, gear up; go follow some roads with your camera. Seriously, when brain fails to "find the right gear(s)" get physical drive body into working. Make brain concentrate on new set of equations to solve. Anything BUT commiserating on how fucked up current situation is.We all have to provide for ourselves. That you have a gig that pays well is great. If you are in a place that offers opportunity to travel on your time and days off do it. Take camera and a motorbike, supply up for day trip, post pics and commentary here.I for one would dig seeing your area and impressions.Get off your ass and try to keep your mind from going into a loo of piss poor thinking. Break out of that mental mess that keeps your mind on total negative mode. Looking forward to pics! kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I was extremely depressed the other day because I took a job in an isolated area where I have few friends, and although the work pays well, I have absolutely no interest in it....That's it. So I'm supposed to stop wanting to do something I don't hate, because that would be selfish. That was supposed to "encourage" me, an atheist. How the hell would you respond to that? Looks like you're looking for permission to quit and do something else but you didn't get it. So quit. Do something else. Why do you need anyone's permission but your own (unless you're married or something in which case you should talk to your spouse and not your mother)? I mean you took this job and you seemed to give it a go but it didn't work out. That happens. Go do something else and see if that works out better for you. It sounds like you're young. That's the best thing about being young. You can try lots of things out since time is generally on your side. The problem is young people tend to squander this great opportunity because they don't realize this until they get old and most don't believe the old people who offer up this advice. mwc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prometheus Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Wow thanks everyone. Your advice is encouraging. SkipNChurch, that's a great idea. I would consider that, but i just quit my job and I'm moving back to where I was before. I was so much happier out there. I actually just told my boss I'm going to quit 2 weeks ago. He immediately offered me a counteroffer of a 20% raise, which is more money than I ever imagined I'd be making. I still turned it down, because this entire industry is just drying my soul up. I'm just a poor fit for this job, and I feel like I'm wasting my real talents. Maybe I'm selfish, but I'm one of those people that just isn't content making decent money--I lust for personal fulfillment and the actualization of my own talents and strengths. Sometimes I even feel guilty for it... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 5, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted February 5, 2016 Making the most money doesn't seem a worthwhile goal to me. After all, happiness is what we seek and often we wrongly equate that with money. Go be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yay! Congratulations Prometheus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Hi Prometheus. Given the constraints of your mother's narrow worldview, it sounds like she's doing the best she can. I don't know anything about your situation, but it's entirely possible that this worthless advise nonetheless comes from a position of genuineness. Not trying to play Jesus' Advocate here, but I'm loathed to tell anyone they should disrespect their mom. Anyway, I guess there's not much of a response you can give, unless telling her you're not a Christian is an option. After all, what she said is consistent with evangelical Christianity. For what it's worth, when I left academia to take a job in industry (which I did for the pay), I was really worried that I would be doing something that doesn't interest me at all. Turned out that while the mindset of my new environment was nothing like academia, I did nonetheless learn to enjoy it. Perhaps you will too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted February 7, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted February 7, 2016 Success in life is measured in smiles, anyway; not dollars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLyniezian Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I guess what you quoted your mother as saying, translated into secular is probably something like, that true joy (supposedly) should come from the abandonment of self, or perhaps a more stoic/fatalist idea that if you try to fight the lot circumstances throw at you, it only makes things worse. But, if that isn't working, it's fairly useless advice. Trying to frame platitudes in the name of "the Lord" is useless to the non-believer and, unless you end up hurting your mother's feelings or starting a rather long and uncomfortable argument with her, perhaps it would be worth pointing out how pointless that is as advice as, as far as you concerned, "the Lord" is non-existent and trying to serve an imaginary being is pointless. Sure, it's all fine for you if you must beleive that, but that's only your belief. I have found as I'm sure many of us have, that entering into discussions with the hardcore devout is in many cases counter-productive. Their sense of reality is framed upon their beliefs and they have difficulty wanting to believe you have left that of your own will because you know it's not true. Back to my first point: working on a job you don't like for the pay alone is hardly doing it for a selfless reason unles you're doing it to help the less fortunate or whatever, so that isn't enough jusification for keeping on with it. And directing your energies to serving an imaginary being at least doesn't automatically come with the benefits that you are helping real people or other lifeforms. So on all levels, the advice is useless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Anyway, her response was, "Well, for a Christian, the joy doesn't come from doing what *WE* want to do, but from knowing that we're serving the Lord." ... How the hell would you respond to that? "It must be nice for you, knowing what God wants. Unfortunately I haven't been made privy to that information." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts