Popular Post TardisThinker Posted March 22, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2016 This time last year I was on this site almost every night after my husband went to sleep, lurking. Mostly I cried, because while everything written here started making so much sense to me, I also had a very deep fear that this was really Satan tempting me away from God. I grew up in a very religious community, and was a devout Christian my whole life. I thought there was a real chance that rational doubt was actually weakness and temptation. But I kept pulling at loose threads, and kept losing more and more of my certainty that my Christian faith was real. Losing my faith was the most pain I’ve ever been in, and I couldn’t imagine ever being happy and peaceful again without it. Being a Christian was a core part of my identity. I married another devout Christian, went to church every week, and studied devotionals. I prayed often. God was my best friend and perfect parent figure. My adolescence was filled with self-injury and suicide attempts, but the hopelessness I felt back then paled in comparison to the hole that was ripped in my life when I started to realize that God and heaven weren’t real. It helped so much to read the testimonies of other people who were happy and peaceful now despite having painful deconversions and years of anguish. It gave me a sliver of hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel. It took some time, but it’s been a year now and I’m finally here. I’m happy and peaceful and full. It’s been such a heart breaking transformation, but I finally feel like a full and complete human being who can think rationally and see this wonderful universe for what it really is. I decided to go ahead and create my own account because I wanted to say thank you to you all. While I do have some non-religious friends, I’m the only “ex-christian” I know in real life, so this community meant the world to me. The words and testimonies on this site were the main thing that kept me from thinking that I was crazy or depressed for leaving the faith. I don’t think I can really express how grateful and indebted I feel to each and every one of you for the support and comfort I received here. Thank you. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ax345 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Wow, that's excellent to hear. Do your loved ones know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyfan70 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Thanks for sharing. I am enduring that pain right now. I am thankful for this site because without it, I would feel like I'm the only one who is going through this deconversion stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I haven't written an ex-timony, but you're very welcome if I posted anything that happened to cheer you up. Glad you made it through and ended up here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 22, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2016 Welcome! No, you are not alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsathoggua Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Glad to have you aboard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Hi. Thanks for telling us some of your story. I'm always happy to hear from people who lurked that our conversations helped. This site helped me! Welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Welcome to the forum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qadeshet Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Welcome! Glad you found your way to freedom. I de-converted in "72. What I wouldn't have given for a resource like this. And for the 52 Guests currently reading this, we hope you find your way out as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Welcome and thanks for sharing your story! I remember feeling exactly the same way only 3 short years ago. I am now more happy and content than I ever came close to being as an xtian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Been there, done that too. Welcome, glad you found us. Letting go is hard, but it does get better with the passing of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2016 I don’t think I can really express how grateful and indebted I feel to each and every one of you for the support and comfort I received here. Welcome to Ex-c tardisthinker. So glad you finally joined us! Thanks so much for sharing. I could relate to your whole story and was very much like you, lurking and reading for months before I finally joined the site. I actually thought I was the only one who doubted the christian god and was so grateful for the people here. I also went through a lot of heartbreak learning the truth. It gets better. It takes along time to get over the fact that you have been lied to all your life. You have found like-minded people. You are 'home'. Looking forward to hearing more from you sweetie!! Hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I'm jealous of you, @tardisthinker !!!! Good for you though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Bless the Lard, Sister! Welcome to freedom! I hope you enjoy your stay here! Glory! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuyGone Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 It's interesting how alone we all feel in this process. It seems to be almost universal, at least for those of us with Christian families. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Welcome, and I am very grateful for this site, too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TardisThinker Posted March 25, 2016 Author Share Posted March 25, 2016 Wow, that's excellent to hear. Do your loved ones know? Yeah, they’re being pretty calm, but they just think this is part of my faith journey. It was really cool telling my youngest sister though. Her face lit up and she told me that while she was still a christian, religion wasn’t a huge factor in her life, and that she’s been dating an atheist for almost a year now. She hasn’t told any of the family because she assumes (rightly so) she’d just get a lecture about “unequally yoked”. On the one hand it’s pretty neat to have this bond with her now, but on the other hand I wish our family was more open minded so she wouldn’t feel the need to keep such an important part of her life a secret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
searchinwithnoagenda Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Thanks for sharing. I am enduring that pain right now. I am thankful for this site because without it, I would feel like I'm the only one who is going through this deconversion stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
searchinwithnoagenda Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Thanks for sharing. I am enduring that pain right now. I am thankful for this site because without it, I would feel like I'm the only one who is going through this deconversion stage. I recall seeing a Nova presentation on NPR about Noah's ark. In short, as I recall, lots of small local floods over the years, round boats, ark as described in the bible not even sea worthy. Which makes me wonder about the competence, if not actual existence, of jesus refering to Noah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
searchinwithnoagenda Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Thanks for sharing. I am enduring that pain right now. I am thankful for this site because without it, I would feel like I'm the only one who is going through this deconversion stage. I recall seeing a Nova presentation on NPR about Noah's ark. In short, as I recall, lots of small local floods over the years, round boats, ark as described in the bible not even sea worthy. Which makes me wonder about the competence, if not actual existence, of jesus refering to Noah. That should be PBS not NPR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Wow, that's excellent to hear. Do your loved ones know? Yeah, they’re being pretty calm, but they just think this is part of my faith journey. It was really cool telling my youngest sister though. Her face lit up and she told me that while she was still a christian, religion wasn’t a huge factor in her life, and that she’s been dating an atheist for almost a year now. She hasn’t told any of the family because she assumes (rightly so) she’d just get a lecture about “unequally yoked”. On the one hand it’s pretty neat to have this bond with her now, but on the other hand I wish our family was more open minded so she wouldn’t feel the need to keep such an important part of her life a secret. Take a moral and ethical highground. Show intellectual honesty, emotional maturity and empathy. Demonstrate what it is like to be human without the dysfunction and paucity of Christian religious dogma. Some of your family and peers may notice, others won't and some may hate and scorn. Don't enable them, become codependant or take ownership of their problems. Do you have financial independence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TardisThinker Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 Wow, that's excellent to hear. Do your loved ones know? Yeah, they’re being pretty calm, but they just think this is part of my faith journey. It was really cool telling my youngest sister though. Her face lit up and she told me that while she was still a christian, religion wasn’t a huge factor in her life, and that she’s been dating an atheist for almost a year now. She hasn’t told any of the family because she assumes (rightly so) she’d just get a lecture about “unequally yoked”. On the one hand it’s pretty neat to have this bond with her now, but on the other hand I wish our family was more open minded so she wouldn’t feel the need to keep such an important part of her life a secret. Take a moral and ethical highground. Show intellectual honesty, emotional maturity and empathy. Demonstrate what it is like to be human without the dysfunction and paucity of Christian religious dogma. Some of your family and peers may notice, others won't and some may hate and scorn. Don't enable them, become codependant or take ownership of their problems. Do you have financial independence? Yes I do. Even though I wish I could have figured it out and left religion much earlier in my life, one of the perks of deconverting as an adult is that I have more freedom and independence, and I’m grateful for that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamia Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I am so glad for you! welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Wow, that's excellent to hear. Do your loved ones know? Yeah, they’re being pretty calm, but they just think this is part of my faith journey. It was really cool telling my youngest sister though. Her face lit up and she told me that while she was still a christian, religion wasn’t a huge factor in her life, and that she’s been dating an atheist for almost a year now. She hasn’t told any of the family because she assumes (rightly so) she’d just get a lecture about “unequally yoked”. On the one hand it’s pretty neat to have this bond with her now, but on the other hand I wish our family was more open minded so she wouldn’t feel the need to keep such an important part of her life a secret. Take a moral and ethical highground. Show intellectual honesty, emotional maturity and empathy. Demonstrate what it is like to be human without the dysfunction and paucity of Christian religious dogma. Some of your family and peers may notice, others won't and some may hate and scorn. Don't enable them, become codependant or take ownership of their problems. Do you have financial independence? Yes I do. Even though I wish I could have figured it out and left religion much earlier in my life, one of the perks of deconverting as an adult is that I have more freedom and independence, and I’m grateful for that. Good. Full sailing too you…may the wind be at your back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Losing my faith was the most pain I’ve ever been in, and I couldn’t imagine ever being happy and peaceful again without it. I can relate to that. And for me, that's saying something. But I'm not sorry I went through it, because life is much better without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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