Popular Post GomerPyle Posted April 11, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted April 11, 2016 I guess you can blame the Mormons for my Christian deconversion. I'm 55, married 30 years, 4 adult kids, raised a Christian. When the kids were little, we took them to (Protestant) church, and attended frequently until they got old enough to complain about it. When we made friends with the Mormons down the street, I had no idea what their religion was all about, so I used "The Google" to find out, and it was there that I discovered a website for ex-Mormons. These folks had no qualms about revealing the treasure trove of secrets of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Holy Christ-on-a-cracker, those people are batshit crazy! With the magic underwear, the baptisms of the dead, the secret handshakes (stolen from the Freemasons), the temple ceremonies with secret vows of throat-slashing and disembowelment, I wondered how our seemingly intelligent neighbors could belief such utter bullshit. Then I realized they, like most others in their religion, probably didn't even know half the stuff I found out after a few days investigating, because they are instructed not to go to these websites, or they might lose their faith. When I told friends and family what the Mormons were all about, we laughed incredulously and mocked their obviously foolish and made-up religion. But as I mocked and laughed, a voice in the back of my mind kept saying "Umm...yeah, but what about your religion?...With the virgin birth, the resurrection, the talking snake, the walking on water, etc, etc...Hmm, smart guy?" So one day, I figured if there was an ex-Mormon website, there must be an ex-Christian website, and boom! Here we are. I lurked for a year, and quietly sought out any of my current friends who might share my skepticism about religion. I found 2 atheists (never Christian) in my circle of friends, and they were a great sounding board for my venting. When it came time to bring up the subject with my wife, it was awkward, though not as traumatic as others have experienced on this site. We had stopped attending church a couple years ago, but my wife still believes. I simply laid bare my feelings about the disinterested, disengaged God, (auto-correct capitalizes God, which kind of annoys me) how he sends the majority of creations to hell, a place he created, how he drowned the earth during a temper tantrum, how he stands by while children starve and women are raped and tortured, i simply said it isn't nice. It's just. Not. Nice. I told her that I'm not an evil person. I'm not a sinner. I'm a good person. In her heart, she must agree with that. She married me and loves me. Is she going to sit there and tell me I'm rotten, defective, pond scum without the blood sacrifice of the lamb? Why should she or anyone else think all of humanity is defective from birth because they are paying the price for the sins of the first humans? How is that fair, in anybody's world view? She knows my feelings now. But we really can't talk about it, because she either 1) still believes, or 2) just doesn't want to think about the ramifications of a non-existent or disengaged creator. (Spoiler alert: everybody dies) My mother is much more religious. She is so immersed in her beliefs, she thinks the creator of the universe follows her around her daily activities, giving her little clues about what deodorant to buy and which bills to pay. Her everyday speech and thought processes are so bible-based that it is impossible to ignore or fake agreement with her (and why should I continue to pretend?). I told her my problems with organized religion, especially the bible, because I don't want her to ask me to go to church when I visit or wonder why I no longer attend. She took it well, although she oddly seemed more relieved that my problems dealt with actual scripture and doctrine, rather than something personal that may have happened to me at church. I guess it's preferable that I question the motives of God Almighty when he annihilates the entire planet, rather than I admit that I don't go to church because Gus was gossiping in the hallway. Anyhow, I'm sure the few who know my feelings probably think that I will come back one day. But I know better. Having swallowed the blue pill, there is no going back. The strange thing is, I no longer fear death. It was kind of a shocking adjustment when that realization kicked in, but it honestly lasted only a couple days. I didn't exist for billions of years before I was born, and I was okay with that. Why would it matter to me after my death? I do know one thing, though...I sure as hell am not gonna waste any of the precious time I have left in this life trying to please or worship something imaginary. If I'm going to worship anything, it'll be my wife's glorious ass. At least I know that's real. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjn Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 If I'm going to worship anything, it'll be my wife's glorious ass. At least I know that's real. Greatest coda of a post, ever. Welcome to ex-C! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Excellent post, and a classic screen name. It appears you're in good shape, likely better than good. What do you spend your free time with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Excellent post, and a classic screen name. It appears you're in good shape, likely better than good. What do you spend your free time with? Thank you! I like to spend my free time with my wife, taking drives in the country, or playing sports with friends. One thing that was amazing was when we stopped going to church, what a relief it was just to not have the pressure of committing to half a day on the weekends. Toward the end we were Christmas and Easter only, but I've managed to avoid those for the past couple of years. On Easter I surprised my wife with a weekend getaway, which she was only too happy to accept rather than attending another boring church service. Now that she knows my feelings, she doesn't bother asking to go to church anymore. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qadeshet Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Welcome. Glad to have you with us! The strange thing is, I no longer fear death. That was the last step for me in my deconversion. i'll never forget that intense surge of joy at being free. I sure as hell am not gonna waste any of the precious time I have left in this life trying to please or worship something imaginary. Any god worthy of love would neither want nor need worship. Bruce Gerencser also deconverted in his 50s. I like reading his articles. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Yeah, me too. I quit worrying about death after de-converting. Funny how Xianity is suppose to take the fear out of death but generally does just the opposite. That is probably so because Xians can never know for sure if they're saved because the Bible is ambiguous about how anyone gets saved or stays saved. Xianity is the ultimate catch 22. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Pyle!!! A former coworker of mine wrote this after doing a personal historical research on Smith. Not really sure how he became obsessed with Smith as he's from the Washington DC area (not Utah or Idaho) and is an atheist. http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Smith-Origins-Mormon-Edition/dp/078640826X Welcome to the board Gomer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Pyle!!! A former coworker of mine wrote this after doing a personal historical research on Smith. Not really sure how he became obsessed with Smith as he's from the Washington DC area (not Utah or Idaho) and is an atheist. http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Smith-Origins-Mormon-Edition/dp/078640826X Welcome to the board Gomer. Shazam! I wish I had included some "goooollies" and "shazams" in my story! Also I forgot to thank all of you on this board for being here. You might not realize how much you help the lurkers! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (In Gomer voice) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Isn't it weird when you grow up in a religion that you take all the crazy stories for granted? Talking snake! Manna from heaven! Four horsemen of the apocalypse, eternal torment because you didn't say, "I accept you, Jesus!"! OMG, those are hysterical now! And as a protestant, I reverently drank my little tiny cup of grape juice and ate my tiny piece of bread (holding onto them so we could do it as a GROUP!), and pondered how jesus had died for us!!! And isn't it glorious having that whole half a day back to enjoy freely??!!?? I used to be very involved in church, teaching sunday school, being a deacon, being in various womens' groups. Gad, all that time I gave them! I haven't been to church in at least 10 years, and I don't miss it one bit. I can't even imagine going back now that I'm a complete non-believer (I had always questioned, but always gave religion the benefit of the doubt, but I finally had my questions answered and I am DONE!); I couldn't bear to listen to the blahblahblah of what a sinner I am that needs god just to get through my day. I get through my days just fine, thank you! My ex-husband and I did raise our kids in the church, but I'm happy to say that they are both now non-believers. They're in their early 20's, and realized much earlier than I did that the church stories were crazy! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Isn't it weird when you grow up in a religion that you take all the crazy stories for granted? Talking snake! Manna from heaven! Four horsemen of the apocalypse, eternal torment because you didn't say, "I accept you, Jesus!"! OMG, those are hysterical now! And as a protestant, I reverently drank my little tiny cup of grape juice and ate my tiny piece of bread (holding onto them so we could do it as a GROUP!), and pondered how jesus had died for us!!! And isn't it glorious having that whole half a day back to enjoy freely??!!?? I used to be very involved in church, teaching sunday school, being a deacon, being in various womens' groups. Gad, all that time I gave them! I haven't been to church in at least 10 years, and I don't miss it one bit. I can't even imagine going back now that I'm a complete non-believer (I had always questioned, but always gave religion the benefit of the doubt, but I finally had my questions answered and I am DONE!); I couldn't bear to listen to the blahblahblah of what a sinner I am that needs god just to get through my day. I get through my days just fine, thank you! My ex-husband and I did raise our kids in the church, but I'm happy to say that they are both now non-believers. They're in their early 20's, and realized much earlier than I did that the church stories were crazy! Same story with my kids. It is ironic how parents want their kids to be exposed to religion so that they will have good morals or at least be scared into being decent people. How long do you think religion would last if people had to be over 18 before being exposed to it? Another change that happened to me was the almost complete elimination of guilt. I'm not doing anything differently than when I was a Christian, but now there is not the slightest sign of guilt. If I was actually doing something wrong, it would be different, but the fact that no one is monitoring my thoughts eliminates the guilt over my private thoughts, which I believe accounts for most guilt in believers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Hi Gomer! Welcome to Ex-C. I'm glad you found the place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrooks2007 Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 Love the end statement. Yeah, I was thinking about death as well...and your statement is along the lines of what Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) said about death, that he didn't exist before...and won't exist after. Pretty much. We make the best of what we have here and then when that time comes, it comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 Mormons deconverted us too! We watched a video sent from a brother-in-law that was Julia Sweeney in which she talks for a bit about some young Mormon missionaries. He was implying how stupid they were. I had the exact same thought as you did and went from fully committed, 100% dedicated xtian to total atheist in about 4 weeks. My wife took about 4 months but thankfully we are both happier and more in love than ever before, over 3 years later. I'm still shocked at the suddenness of our deconversion but I'm a "no bullshit" kind of guy. If something is wrong - it's wrong and I don't mess around trying to make it "right". The wealth of evidence against what billions of people believe is scary. It's scary that so many humans can be so fucking scared and blind to the idiocy of religious belief. Hopefully in a few thousand years we've learned our lesson but somehow I doubt it. We're too scared that we are essentially meaningless in this universe. We want to be "special". Welcome to ex-c! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 15, 2016 Author Share Posted April 15, 2016 Mormons deconverted us too! We watched a video sent from a brother-in-law that was Julia Sweeney in which she talks for a bit about some young Mormon missionaries. He was implying how stupid they were. I had the exact same thought as you did and went from fully committed, 100% dedicated xtian to total atheist in about 4 weeks. My wife took about 4 months but thankfully we are both happier and more in love than ever before, over 3 years later. I'm still shocked at the suddenness of our deconversion but I'm a "no bullshit" kind of guy. If something is wrong - it's wrong and I don't mess around trying to make it "right". The wealth of evidence against what billions of people believe is scary. It's scary that so many humans can be so fucking scared and blind to the idiocy of religious belief. Hopefully in a few thousand years we've learned our lesson but somehow I doubt it. We're too scared that we are essentially meaningless in this universe. We want to be "special". Welcome to ex-c! Yes! How could I forget the Julia Sweeney film "Letting Go of God"? That was a HUUUGE turning point for me, a real eye-opener. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 Surprise, surprise, surprise! Discovering that what we've believed all our lives isn't actually true is quite surprising, isn't it? Anyway, welcome, Gomer! It's great to have you here. Enjoy the journey ahead of you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 i wonder if youtube has letting go of God. youtube has a hell of alot of mormon movies lol the polygamy cults are awful how they treat women. they probally got the idea from the old teatament Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 i wonder if youtube has letting go of God. youtube has a hell of alot of mormon movies lol the polygamy cults are awful how they treat women. they probally got the idea from the old teatament I actually had to buy it from Julia sweeneys website for 5 bucks, but I see that it is on YouTube here: http://youtu.be/xTvx_QA6gIc It's better to see her performance rather just audio, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GomerPyle Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 i wonder if youtube has letting go of God. youtube has a hell of alot of mormon movies lol the polygamy cults are awful how they treat women. they probally got the idea from the old teatament I actually had to buy it from Julia sweeneys website for 5 bucks, but I see that it is on YouTube here:http://youtu.be/xTvx_QA6gIc It's better to see her performance rather just audio, though. Forget the above link. This is the actual film: http://youtu.be/KiU5ht5W_lk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 There are millions of religions and Gods in this world, but don't worry... yours is the correct one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 A side comment: Mark Twain said "I never understood polygamy. Now that I've been to Salt Lake and seen Mormon women, I understand it even less." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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