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Goodbye Jesus

I Ate The Forbidden Fruit


willybilly30

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Hey, everyone it is been awhile...along while

I am not a knew member I been here for a long time

doubt anyone remembers me

I read over my old blogs and posts

I wish i could of found my testamonie but i guess after awhile posts are deleted

Guess, I will make a knew one

 

Well. I was raised in the Church of Christ I had to dress in fancy clothers, hairspray on my hair and I was a good little Christian.

I had many questions tho like why we had no mother but a father?

Why is there so many religions and How do we know this one os right?

Why i was i born with a deformed face? What did i do deserve that? I had lots of surgeries, i have lots of problems and I still wonder why?

I can see no good reason for this at all...

 

I been to many churches in life but, when i think about my life I got to to wonder why things happened the way they did...

my dad cheated on my mom when i was eight...guess whwt the sermon was about sunday..my mom took me and my sister out in tears. i despised church of christ ever since.

my mom married an asshole named Randy who whipped me constantly, took everything away from me, and made my life hell on earth but, my mom thought i deserved it.

people at school called me ugly, retarded and all kinds of names

i thought living with my dad would be better but it wasn't...he put me down, kicked me, beat his wife, her kid and my half sister rae. she was just a baby then.

 

When i think about this the question where was God does come up.

i went to church, read the bible and thought of God often

i was a good boy dammit

 

then i moved out

the thing is it is very conflicting as you will see the conflict

i had a life long freind Seth, James and Jim

i got a job ar pizza hut started drinking, smoking and having fun

got into witchcraft and wicca on the internet

i looked it up cause i wanted to see the forbidden

it was great and i loved it

 

but, of course Seth, And Jim is gonna bug me back to jesus

i got kicked out of my apartment for having an altar

i lost my job

oh it must be cause i am Wiccan and not worshipping Jesus

i left my groups and threw away tons of Withcraft stuff

 

The struggle went on for years between Seth, my mom and Wicca,

The coven i was in suggested ChristianWicca

The coven is gone but i am on alot of groups on my facebook

ChristianWiccan groups, got an altar made, books and was haing a good time i guess

 

But, the something weird happened...

I got a notification from a Satanist group

I was like whoa! where did this come from? Why i am i here?

I got brave and went to it

I decided to tell about myself and ask if i could stay.

A member named Demonia..now is her name. said you may stay if you be nice to us we will be nice to you

 

Me and her are now friends

i talk on there often and on my groups

i read the Satanic Bible

I am more interested in Theistic Satanism and Liciferianim tho

 

I gotta say i love it

it teaches you are God, be your self, be nice to those who derserve it, you don't have to love your enemies or be nice to them oh, i had a hard time loving and being nice to assholes.

 

I quit my job cause of assholes

i road with assholes

i don't gotta love them

I read over a website about Luciferanism

i told the group my thoughts about it

 

I thought about this place and decided to visit and look over my old life

I seemed to not belive in God or Religion at one time...

boy, i got alot of rants on here

I wonder what made me go back to Christianawicca?

i wonder why i left...

I don't know but I guess i am slowly not believing again

 

i quit my job

my mon wants me to get on disability

i been praying and mediatting on it since december

still denied and the lawyer says itll be fifteen months or more

my mom made me get my ohone turned off

internet maybe next

 

Where the tuck are you God...

 

One Satanist said as a Chrisrian she was raped

One was beaten all the time for Jesus and crosses scare her now

one Satanist said in a video"why do people even be Christian if they don't belive in the Bible"

 

Why do i...i don't belive in hell, i have sex with my freinds..some guys...drink, smoke, watch porn

 

oviously, an't following the damn thing or beliving it

not sure what i am going to end up doing

but, thought i would say hi

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Maybe you should try being completely secular for once? I get that your Christian upbringing was traumatizing, but I'm not so sure Satanism (a very vague term btw) necessarily brings out the best in people either. Such groups can easily turn out to be just as cult like as any Christian fringe-group. Hedonism might be fun for a while, but it's a dead end IMHO. There's more to life than getting wasted and having sex, and all that will eventually become void of any meaning and pleasure if overdone.

 

In any case, I wish you the best.

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Maybe you should try being completely secular for once? I get that your Christian upbringing was traumatizing, but I'm not so sure Satanism (a very vague term btw) necessarily brings out the best in people either. Such groups can easily turn out to be just as cult like as any Christian fringe-group. Hedonism might be fun for a while, but it's a dead end IMHO. There's more to life than getting wasted and having sex, and all that will eventually become void of any meaning and pleasure if overdone.

 

In any case, I wish you the best.

Not all Satanists drink and party all the time. not sure what hedonism is, I don't know i am just reading about it rught now. have not decided.
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Hedonism=engaging in excessive sensual pleasures, more or less. I know this is a big thing among at least LaVeyan Satanists. I'm not saying that it's wrong to enjoy life, but I'm convinced overindulging in sex (including porn), substances (drugs, including alcohol) and so on is destructive in the long run. Moderation is best.

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Hedonism=engaging in excessive sensual pleasures, more or less. I know this is a big thing among at least LaVeyan Satanists. I'm not saying that it's wrong to enjoy life, but I'm convinced overindulging in sex (including porn), substances (drugs, including alcohol) and so on is destructive in the long run. Moderation is best.

I agree you should not over indulge in things

Expecially, not so,much you ignore thongs like bills or kids if you got them

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Hey Willy, glad to see you're still around. 

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Hey Willy, glad to see you're still around.

 

Hey Vigil
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  • 3 weeks later...

Heya Willy!

 

Good to see you still kicking. Welcome back to your spot of sanity here.

 

kevinL

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I was Church of Christ too. A person would have to be a member of the c of c to understand what it's like. I'm sorry for all you went through but I'm happy for you that you got out.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey, everyone it is been awhile...along while

I am not a knew member I been here for a long time

doubt anyone remembers me

I read over my old blogs and posts

I wish i could of found my testamonie but i guess after awhile posts are deleted

Guess, I will make a knew one

 

Well. I was raised in the Church of Christ I had to dress in fancy clothers, hairspray on my hair and I was a good little Christian.

I had many questions tho like why we had no mother but a father?

Why is there so many religions and How do we know this one os right?

Why i was i born with a deformed face? What did i do deserve that? I had lots of surgeries, i have lots of problems and I still wonder why?

I can see no good reason for this at all...

 

I been to many churches in life but, when i think about my life I got to to wonder why things happened the way they did...

my dad cheated on my mom when i was eight...guess whwt the sermon was about sunday..my mom took me and my sister out in tears. i despised church of christ ever since.

my mom married an asshole named Randy who whipped me constantly, took everything away from me, and made my life hell on earth but, my mom thought i deserved it.

people at school called me ugly, retarded and all kinds of names

i thought living with my dad would be better but it wasn't...he put me down, kicked me, beat his wife, her kid and my half sister rae. she was just a baby then.

 

When i think about this the question where was God does come up.

i went to church, read the bible and thought of God often

i was a good boy dammit

 

then i moved out

the thing is it is very conflicting as you will see the conflict

i had a life long freind Seth, James and Jim

i got a job ar pizza hut started drinking, smoking and having fun

got into witchcraft and wicca on the internet

i looked it up cause i wanted to see the forbidden

it was great and i loved it

 

but, of course Seth, And Jim is gonna bug me back to jesus

i got kicked out of my apartment for having an altar

i lost my job

oh it must be cause i am Wiccan and not worshipping Jesus

i left my groups and threw away tons of Withcraft stuff

 

The struggle went on for years between Seth, my mom and Wicca,

The coven i was in suggested ChristianWicca

The coven is gone but i am on alot of groups on my facebook

ChristianWiccan groups, got an altar made, books and was haing a good time i guess

 

But, the something weird happened...

I got a notification from a Satanist group

I was like whoa! where did this come from? Why i am i here?

I got brave and went to it

I decided to tell about myself and ask if i could stay.

A member named Demonia..now is her name. said you may stay if you be nice to us we will be nice to you

 

Me and her are now friends

i talk on there often and on my groups

i read the Satanic Bible

I am more interested in Theistic Satanism and Liciferianim tho

 

I gotta say i love it

it teaches you are God, be your self, be nice to those who derserve it, you don't have to love your enemies or be nice to them oh, i had a hard time loving and being nice to assholes.

 

I quit my job cause of assholes

i road with assholes

i don't gotta love them

I read over a website about Luciferanism

i told the group my thoughts about it

 

I thought about this place and decided to visit and look over my old life

I seemed to not belive in God or Religion at one time...

boy, i got alot of rants on here

I wonder what made me go back to Christianawicca?

i wonder why i left...

I don't know but I guess i am slowly not believing again

 

i quit my job

my mon wants me to get on disability

i been praying and mediatting on it since december

still denied and the lawyer says itll be fifteen months or more

my mom made me get my ohone turned off

internet maybe next

 

Where the tuck are you God...

 

One Satanist said as a Chrisrian she was raped

One was beaten all the time for Jesus and crosses scare her now

one Satanist said in a video"why do people even be Christian if they don't belive in the Bible"

 

Why do i...i don't belive in hell, i have sex with my freinds..some guys...drink, smoke, watch porn

 

oviously, an't following the damn thing or beliving it

not sure what i am going to end up doing

but, thought i would say hi

Pace yourself you have much more wicked things to do, like fun. Did you know having fun these days is completely evil, why? I don't know, people these days have a rod stuck up their ass.
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