I Am So Done

[Daffodil]

I am SO TIRED of trying to do the right thing.

 

I am so tired of trying to help the environment by recycling everything I can, knowing only a small proportion of it will actually be recycled.

 

I am so tired of voting for people I think could make a difference, only to have corporate shills get elected instead.

 

I am so tired of trying to understand other people's viewpoints only to be told that as a white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, middle class person, I will never be able to understand the other side.

 

I am so tired of trying to bring rationality and logic to arguments with people who absolutely refuse to think logically.

 

I am so tired of feeling sheepish when I tell people I am "just a stay-at-home mom" when they ask me what I do, as if raising thinking, caring future adults full time is not a worthy endeavor.

 

I am so tired of trying to eat the right things and avoid the wrong things only to then be told the right things are now wrong and the wrong things are now right.

 

I am so tired of seeing our beautiful world get destroyed little by little and people get taken advantage of by profit-seeking entities with no thought for the future.

 

I am just so done I want to crawl into a cave and become a recluse!

[florduh]

Welcome! Happy you could join us!!!

[buffettphan]

I know how you feel.  In fact, I had to double-check your post to make sure I hadn't written it in some sort of sleep-walking incident.     Good thing we have Ex-C as a place to vent.  It's kept me sane, well half-sane anyhow...as good as it gets.    

[Daffodil]

Welcome! Happy you could join us!!!

So when do I get my Grumpy Old Fart membership card?

[mwc]

So when do I get my Grumpy Old Fart membership card?

     It used to be 4 to 6 weeks but I think they got tired of handing them out.

 

          mwc

[Daffodil]

Know what the icing on the cake is? I feel guilty for feeling like giving up! WTF!

[florduh]

 

Welcome! Happy you could join us!!!

So when do I get my Grumpy Old Fart membership card?

 

I'm surprised you haven't received it by now. 

[hockeyfan70]

Know what the icing on the cake is? I feel guilty for feeling like giving up! WTF!

I've said this a lot - not here, but in conversation - but I feel like there are three kinds of people in the world. There are those who struggle when someone doesn't like them. So for that person, they spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince that person that they are likable. Another group of people struggle when someone either is mad at them, or they've disappointed someone in their life. And so they spend an inordinate amount of time trying to reconcile, say they're sorry, fix the problem, and usually overreact. Then there are the people who don't struggle with either of those two things, which could be because of a few factors: maybe they never have really struggled with either one; they have struggled but have gotten to the point where they don't let it affect their lives anymore; or they still struggle but have resigned themselves to the fact that it doesn't matter and therefore why fight it.

 

I have lived my life in group number two, which sucks because I've been taken advantage of by people who know how to manipulate people like me.

 

I am slowly moving to group number 3, probably for the combination of the last two factors.

 

All that to say, my advice to people these days is to let your passion be your passion, let your dream be your dream, let the things that you care about be your things. And if someone doesn't like that, too bad. If they don't understand, that's their problem not yours.

 

Here's an example in my life: I haven't told people about my de-conversion except for a few. Since I left the church I was at, there have been only a few people who have contacted either my wife or myself to see how we're doing. Which for a month or two was really painful. So then I made the decision that I was going to just delete people like that from Facebook. But because I still have one foot in Group #2 camp, I struggle with that decision because of the fact that in my dumb head I think that people are going to be hurt about it. But because my other foot is in #3, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm sending messages to a couple of people about it, and then it's goodbye.

[Jedah]

 

I am so tired of trying to understand other people's viewpoints only to be told that as a white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, middle class person, I will never be able to understand the other side.

 

Anyone who tells you this understands neither side.

[RedStar]

I hear you! I can especially relate to trying to get a logic based conversation out of people who use poor reasoning. I think bashing my head against a brick wall would be less painful than that! Sounds like you need a holiday.

[qadeshet]

If you let everything worry you, then you'll never get any sleep. Hopefully you're exagerating for effect. I try not to worry about what I can't control.

[Daffodil]

 

 

I am so tired of trying to understand other people's viewpoints only to be told that as a white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, middle class person, I will never be able to understand the other side.

 

Anyone who tells you this understands neither side.

Try telling that to them. They tend to fall under my fourth point of frustration as well!

[florduh]

They say that with age comes wisdom. I think I understand what that wisdom is now. It is the realization that it's not your job to save the world, get people to agree with you, to impress anyone, to avoid conflict at all cost, or to do anything you don't really want to do. You are everything you need to be, and you always were. Relax.

[Daffodil]

They say that with age comes wisdom. I think I understand what that wisdom is now. It is the realization that it's not your job to save the world, get people to agree with you, to impress anyone, to avoid conflict at all cost, or to do anything you don't really want to do. You are everything you need to be, and you always were. Relax.

Thanks, Florduh.

[FuzzieConcepts]

Wow... I've been primarily a lurker here for quite a while (thanks for everyone's contributions - they all help!), but this is one of the most profound and true to my own feelings post I've seen here, yet. Daffodil, know that you are nowhere near alone in your sentiments. Thank you for a brave (IMHO) post. Keep on keeping on, as tough as it sometimes seems.

[older]

They say that with age comes wisdom. I think I understand what that wisdom is now. It is the realization that it's not your job to save the world, get people to agree with you, to impress anyone, to avoid conflict at all cost, or to do anything you don't really want to do. You are everything you need to be, and you always were. Relax.

 

From the perspective of my screen name, I agree.

 

Granted, we don't pray, but there is value in the Serenity Prayer:

 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

[midniterider]

I am so going to use "cis-gender" as soon as possible. Maybe I'll come out on FB as one.  I doubt too many people in my circle have heard that term.

[Sybaris]

......and then there are people who would consider what you're tired of to be luxuries.

[Daffodil]

......and then there are people who would consider what you're tired of to be luxuries.

Besides being a stay-at-home mom, I don't really see any of the rest of it as luxuries. But, there we go again, because I am a middle class person, I will never understand. Thanks for reinforcing that.

[Daffodil]

 

......and then there are people who would consider what you're tired of to be luxuries.

Besides being a stay-at-home mom, I don't really see any of the rest of it as luxuries. But, there we go again, because I am a middle class person, I will never understand. Thanks for reinforcing that.

Sorry, that was a bit harsh. You're probably right.

[TardisThinker]

The environment part in particular struck a nerve with me. I hate seeing what’s happening to our beautiful world too. When I was a Christian I at least had the comfort of believing we had a safety net. I thought we’d probably make it a difficult place to live, but at least god wouldn’t let climate change get too out of control because he wouldn’t let us destroy the planet before the second coming of jesus. But it turns out that it’s just us, there’s no magic protecting us. If we screw it up it’s going to stay screwed, there’s no magic protector who’s going to keep us safe from ourselves. And that sucks because I’m not 100% confident in our species. 

[Margee]

 

 

I am just so done I want to crawl into a cave and become a recluse!

 

Daff, one of the greatest moments in my life was when I 'was done'. And I love being a recluse with the exception of a handful of very good friends.

 

Even on Facebook, I just joke around mostly.. and post silly pictures of animals. If my family and cousins really knew me, they would boot me out of the clan so I just try to post silly things. I don't get involved in many discussions at all anymore. Can't be bothered. People are too closed minded for me. Once someone has an opinion, they don't let go very easily. Politics and religion are poisonous subjects to me. They steal all my energy even reading about it.

 

The world is a mess and I can't fix it. People are a mess and I can't fix them except to encourage a bit and give them a hug. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the whole world better but I can't. I don't even care about getting the 'pat on the back' for being a good person that I try to be. Of course it's nice but it's just not important to me anymore. I think, like florduh says, this 'wisdom'? comes with age.

 

Continue to be nice in your community, do what you can and relax. The world has been a mess for a very long time and I don't see it getting any better soon. Don't burn yourself out sweetie. It's not worth it.

 

I give you a big (hug) today. Go do something really nice for yourself hon. Blast some music and dance. 

[Daffodil]

 

I am just so done I want to crawl into a cave and become a recluse!

 

 

Daff, one of the greatest moments in my life was when I 'was done'. And I love being a recluse with the exception of a handful of very good friends.

 

Even on Facebook, I just joke around mostly.. and post silly pictures of animals. If my family and cousins really knew me, they would boot me out of the clan so I just try to post silly things. I don't get involved in many discussions at all anymore. Can't be bothered. People are too closed minded for me. Once someone has an opinion, they don't let go very easily. Politics and religion are poisonous subjects to me. They steal all my energy even reading about it.

 

The world is a mess and I can't fix it. People are a mess and I can't fix them except to encourage a bit and give them a hug. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the whole world better but I can't. I don't even care about getting the 'pat on the back' for being a good person that I try to be. Of course it's nice but it's just not important to me anymore. I think, like florduh says, this 'wisdom'? comes with age.

 

Continue to be nice in your community, do what you can and relax. The world has been a mess for a very long time and I don't see it getting any better soon. Don't burn yourself out sweetie. It's not worth it.

 

I give you a big (hug) today. Go do something really nice for yourself hon. Blast some music and dance.

Thanks, Margee!