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Goodbye Jesus

Now That I No Longer Believe In Magic I Am Rebuilding


Wittyusername

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My foundation was the rock but it turned out to be a castle in the sky. I now have to rebuild everything mentally in my mid 30s. Career, finances, parenting - everything.

 

I am reading a lot of self help books to get different perspectives . I was of the school of thought that if anything isn't from the bible then the devil devised it to lure you away from Jesus.

 

Problems at work? Just pray to the magical sky wizard to use magic to fix it.

 

Problems getting along with your neighbour? Pray for them, shove some tracts in their letter box and wait for magic to happen and a solution to be generated.

 

I am reading 'How to win friends and influence people'. It has some good common sense guidance.

 

How have you guys found rebuilding?

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It was sorta easy for me, though it could've been tougher. 

 

For the past 6 years I haven't really gone to church and neither did my wife. We made several moves, first away from family, then away from the college we went to, finally to a totally different state 1500 miles away. That makes it MUCH easier. But I had already given up on church and was a really liberal christian. My love for science helped me rebuild my worldview, even though at the time I didn't realize that was what was happening.

 

When I finally said it "I'm an atheist", I felt instant relief. I had already internalized it, I just had to admit it.

 

As far as socially - the moves got us away from any too overt christian friends and I've pretty much not talked about religion to anyone except my wife and my parents, so most don't even know. I was lucky to go to a fairly liberal Christian college where it wasn't a huge deal to be a non-christian, so most of my friends there probably wouldn't care. My family isn't really religious so it wasn't a big deal. My in-laws, however...well, they still don't know and I"m not looking forward to that conversation.

 

For a lot of people though, it can be rough. Hopefully you'll be able to get through it cleanly. 

I recommend anything on science  - physics especially can be fascinating and when you really start getting into it, you start going "damn, I can't believed in creationism. This shit is FAR more interesting!"

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It's really rough for me. I probably have a different road though, because my whole life was about church, since I was a minister. So not only did I go to church on Sunday mornings, I worked at a church all week. And my activities were with church people. Sports? How about a church softball team. Community? Here's a small group for you to join. 

 

So becoming an exchristian means pulling away from everything and finding a new normal. 

 

I joined several meetup groups based on my interests, including a secular humanist one, as well as a recovery from religion one.

 

I'm trying to get to know my new neighbors. They just moved from San Diego, and I really like them. Although I'm afraid the way I talked about leaving the church that they think that I was part of a David Koresh cult or something haha.

 

It's hard, though. I feel lonely a lot. I have a couple of friends from the church still but they are so busy doing church things, and I don't do those things anymore, that I hardly see them.

 

I read a lot. I agree with Bobby, read some science. I've been reading A Brief History On Nearly Everything, and it's fascinating to me. There are some amazing scientists who I've never heard of, or didn't know much about. My favorite stories so far are about Henry Cavendish, who figured out pretty closely how much the earth weighs as well as figuring out things he never told anybody, way ahead of when they were discovered; and Lord Kelvin (of the Kelvin way of measuring temperature).

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Rewarding. It's amazing how many things go how you want when you use your mind Without magical thinking

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I like your idea of reading self help books. I don't have a lot of time to read, so I do a lot of thinking. Trying to be skeptical and thinking through things on my own. I'm also trying to follow my human instincts. I consider myself a kind and loving person, so if what I'm doing goes against that instinct I stop to consider what I'm doing.

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Blindsighted, I don't have much time to read so I use Audible audiobooks.

I listen when I am commuting and also doing housework or the boring parts of cooking (standing there stirring for ages). I don't think any housework would get done without the audiobooks.

 

I am reading all the books that were 'banned' for 'relying on the false wisdom of man'. In fact I find I prefer peer reviewed scientific findings to some Bronze aged desert rantings telling a girl to marry her rapist for example.

 

Of course there is much wisdom in the bible, but because of the toxic bs mixed in I am just going to chuck out that particular baby with the bath water until I can face it, if ever. Would you eat a tub of chocolate ice cream which has a teaspoon of dog poo in it somewhere?

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Science and history were a huge part of my deconverson and now play a roll in my rebuilding, but I still have a long way to go. The world around me is far more amazing to look at now.

 

I am also interested in what has helped others, especially with social and parenting aspects. Like hockeyfan70, I worked in the church during the week. I was a preschool worship leader, co-head of preteen ministry, and in a few small groups, so everything I did socially was tied back to the church. Literally everyone I know is a Christian so I'm in a lonely place right now.

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