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Goodbye Jesus

This Is What Would Happen If You Died Drunk And Went To Hell


FlowerDemon

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According to my friend, if you were to die while being shitfaced drunk, you'll wake up in hell and be wasted for ALL ETERNITY. and that wouldn't be so bad would it? the flame wouldn't hurt as bad, and you'd be partying with Satan. 

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Yeah, I'm failing to see a problem here.

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what if you are just one of those types that has one beer at noon?

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what if you are just one of those types that has one beer at noon?

then every noon, in hell, you'll have a beer. or more if Satan unloads his stash. which he probably would since in hell you're suffering for all eternity...that could get boring.

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didnt know satan was such a generous dude...

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f13752e745f98fe8845cdd824c4d5cd5.jpg

He is though. Think about it, he also:
GoodGuyLucifer.jpg

Most misunderstood guy in history. Good guy Lucifer, he's a man of wealth and taste.

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What if you die during orgasm? Outside of marriage?

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Oh god... What? No. Wouldn't it be like a never ending fountain? Just... Everywhere.

 

The marriage part would be completely irrelevant.

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So being drunk is a one way ticket to Hell, even if you're saved?

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Oh god.

That's what she said.

 

The marriage part would be completely irrelevant.

Well the outside of marriage part is what sends you to hell in your frozen state. If it was legitimate missionary procreation sex with your spouse you might still have a chance of going to heaven and kissing God's ass for all eternity instead.

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But, mid ejaculation for the rest of eternity... Semen. Everywhere. It won't stop.

 

Granted, it is more of a problem for the male population... Unless I'm not quite grasping how this would work exactly? All I can imagine is that eventually heaven or hell would be flooded with cum... Maybe that's why heaven is depicted as all white and cloudy...

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But, mid ejaculation for the rest of eternity... Semen. Everywhere. It won't stop.

 

Granted, it is more of a problem for the male population... Unless I'm not quite grasping how this would work exactly? All I can imagine is that eventually heaven or hell would be flooded with cum... Maybe that's why heaven is depicted as all white and cloudy...

 

I'm catching on to your style, TheOutsider.

 

If we can cum in Hell, we aren't really drunk and they will throw us out. 

 

I might be wrong.

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But, mid ejaculation for the rest of eternity... Semen. Everywhere. It won't stop.

 

Granted, it is more of a problem for the male population... Unless I'm not quite grasping how this would work exactly? All I can imagine is that eventually heaven or hell would be flooded with cum... Maybe that's why heaven is depicted as all white and cloudy...

Great point. I was thinking of it from the perspective of a female orgasm which has significantly less fluid involved.

 

I think you may be on to something though...those ain't clouds.

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But, mid ejaculation for the rest of eternity... Semen. Everywhere. It won't stop.

 

Granted, it is more of a problem for the male population... Unless I'm not quite grasping how this would work exactly? All I can imagine is that eventually heaven or hell would be flooded with cum... Maybe that's why heaven is depicted as all white and cloudy...

 

I'm catching on to your style, TheOutsider.

 

If we can cum in Hell, we aren't really drunk and they will throw us out. 

 

I might be wrong.

 

 

Hmmm... Maybe, but if the only criteria for getting into hell is being drunk, is it really such a bad place to be? I feel like, as mortals, the gods haven't been completely up front about the afterlife. Watch it turn out that the gods have just been giving us their good yelp reviews, and the cherry picked, or even fabricated bad reviews for their competition. They must be laughing so hard at everyone that takes their shit seriously.

 

Heaven country club. No sodomites allowed! Mandatorysodomyorgiesonsundaynightsbringyourkids.

 

The Flying Spaghetti Monster's Strip Club and Pizza Parlor. We do birthdays!

 

Hell. X-rated nightclub. We do orgies!

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But, mid ejaculation for the rest of eternity... Semen. Everywhere. It won't stop.

 

Granted, it is more of a problem for the male population... Unless I'm not quite grasping how this would work exactly? All I can imagine is that eventually heaven or hell would be flooded with cum... Maybe that's why heaven is depicted as all white and cloudy...

Great point. I was thinking of it from the perspective of a female orgasm which has significantly less fluid involved.

 

I think you may be on to something though...those ain't clouds.

 

 

It would help explain why you can stand on them, wouldn't it.

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omg this conversation xD lol

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yelrotflmao.gif

 

:lmao:

 

Oh Lordy. You guys.

 

Say you die drunk, mid-orgasm, while eating pie, or whatever your favorite food is. What's the point of hell then?

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Hell yes

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yelrotflmao.gif

 

lmao_99.gif

 

Oh Lordy. You guys.

 

Say you die drunk, mid-orgasm, while eating pie, or whatever your favorite food is. What's the point of hell then?

 

 

The joke is on the Christians!!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Furball

 

what if you are just one of those types that has one beer at noon?

then every noon, in hell, you'll have a beer. or more if Satan unloads his stash. which he probably would since in hell you're suffering for all eternity...that could get boring.

 

 

Even more boring than heaven?

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What if you're in a coma when you die?

Ah sweet peace and rest eternally!

 

So silly

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What if you're in a coma when you die?

Ah sweet peace and rest eternally!

 

So silly

 

Not if you can't forever scratch that itch.  It could happen, you don't know. 

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