Aiyana Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I don't really know where to start telling you guys about this topic. There's so much to say. But this is where I'm at these days. I was raised Catholic, until about the age of 14. I left, not really for any reason other than that I found it boring at that age. I entered hardcore evangelical Protestantism (the type that call Catholics "evil") of my own accord at age 21, and remained there for 13 years until my deconversion in late 2013/early 2014. I've spent the past couple of years realizing that I... well... miss having a spirituality. There are still certain things that draw me to Christianity; there are certain things that draw me to paganism; but the draw back to the Catholic church is really strong. I don't necessarily believe in it intellectually; but I do find it possible to believe in a "Great Spirit" if you will, that is common to all religions. And I really enjoy the ritualistic aspect of Catholicism. I actually bought myself a rosary the other day. It's a "Celtic" rosary, which kind of leans toward the pull towards druidry that I've felt at times. My husband is still his own personal flavor of fairly hardcore Pentecostal Protestant, but I've been open with him about what's going on, and he hasn't been rude. I wonder if he's like "better a Catholic wife than an atheist". I don't know. Anyway. Like I said, there's a lot to all of this. But there you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 30, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted May 30, 2016 The RCC does a lot of harm in the world, but they do have some nifty rituals and talismans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 30, 2016 Moderator Share Posted May 30, 2016 Well, they have more historical authority than Protestants, I suppose, but that is still some fucked up bullshit. Have you considered Eastern Orthodoxy? Oh, nevermind... Whatever makes you happy... I miss you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TABA Posted May 30, 2016 Moderator Share Posted May 30, 2016 My wife and I were both raised Catholic. Since we left the conservative Christian church a year ago, I've been going to a Catholic church with her more-or-less regularly. It's a beautiful old church and I do find the atmosphere, the rituals and the organ to be somewhat comforting and uplifting, even though I no longer accept any of the theology. I don't feel in any way pulled back to be a believer again, but sitting in that beautiful setting with the organ playing before mass starts, I just tend to reflect about life and about being a better person, a better man. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I "got saved" in the Assemblies of God, but eventually I converted to Catholicism. It's a real religion. Yes, I agree that its structure and rituals and tradition are more robust than most of Protestantism. And its theology is less dependent on a literal interpretation of the Bible than is fundamentalist Protestantism - e.g. Catholics generally don't find Evolution to be a problem. Since I wasn't born into a Catholic family, I don't have associations with it from childhood. My sense of identity as a person didn't grow with "Catholic" as part of that identity. So I can't comment on that side of your perspective. It's part of my individual life journey but not part of my heritage in the way it is for you, Aiyana. Eventually I came to conclude that its version of Christianity is a Big Lie just like the other ones. For all the same reasons. I continued to attend Mass for some years, but eventually I couldn't support it anymore. The killer for me was when the NY State Catholic Conference opposed, for the umpteenth time, a bill for gay rights in the state legislature (not much was said about trans people back then). It just hit me, why am I supporting this oppressive organization? So I stopped going. Since then I haven't felt a pull to go back. The Church doesn't offer any evidence for the truth of Christianity that surpasses what evangelical Protestants offer, really, except maybe claims about certain miracles. But these usually turn out not to be securely documented or else don't prove what Catholics want them to prove. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindmaster Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Druidry really handles all of the spiritual needs for me. You are left to come up with your own spiritual understanding based on experience (atheism, pantheism, polytheism, you pick it!), but there is a commonality of rituals, shamanism, and meditations. Anyway, the most prudent course is to read The Druidry Handbook by John Michael Greer and see if it appeals to you -- it's probably the main book everyone would recommend. I think if anything, you are moving past Christianity and I see no reason to regress into it you are just longing for the dance of it. You can have those needs met by something much more psychologically healthy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Follow your heart, and don't fret about labels. I think that having faith or not, is a personal journey, and you don't need to feel badly for being on the fence. I always encourage people to at least know why they are staying or returning to faith, and also why they are turning away from it. In either stance, do it for the right reasons. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlowerDemon Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Druidry really handles all of the spiritual needs for me. You are left to come up with your own spiritual understanding based on experience (atheism, pantheism, polytheism, you pick it!), but there is a commonality of rituals, shamanism, and meditations. Anyway, the most prudent course is to read The Druidry Handbook by John Michael Greer and see if it appeals to you -- it's probably the main book everyone would recommend. I think if anything, you are moving past Christianity and I see no reason to regress into it you are just longing for the dance of it. You can have those needs met by something much more psychologically healthy. ^ This. I am not a druid but I am a pagan and my spiritual path has benefitted me in so many ways...and I like it because I'm not being indoctrinated into anything. I pretty much pave the path I walk, rather than trying to follow an old book that I don't agree with most of the time. Whatever makes you happy is all that matters. Don't try to rush yourself into "picking a religion/spirituality." That's everyone's own personal journey even if they're an atheist. Oh by the way, you can be atheist and spiritual at the same time. Just because you don't believe in any gods doesn't mean you can't meditate, etc. I've actually read some things about atheistic spirituality. Here's a link that sums it up pretty good. Might be worth reading into. http://www.centerforabetterworld.com/SpiritualAtheism/about-spiritual-atheism.htm Bottom line...do what is right for you. And don't rush it. Good luck on your journey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted June 4, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted June 4, 2016 Finding your own path to spirituality and stuff is cute, doing what feels right sounds reasonable, but the fact remains. The RCC is a corrupt organization that does great harm all around the world. Those who are mesmerized by rituals, costumes and trinkets should consider taking a look at the Nazis. They have that shit down! Fuck the Pope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Aiyana, it's entirely a matter for you. But please be careful of joining any organised religion regardless of the label. It is liable to demand orthodoxy, impose doctrine, and create oppression as a result. At the very least, do nothing that you cannot just as easily undo. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiyana Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 Thanks for all the replies, everyone. I did end up going to a mass this morning. I chose the early morning mass with Gregorian chant. It was honestly really beautiful. I felt like I had traveled back in time. Like I was in an episode of The Tudors, or something. It definitely speaks to the side of me that longs for a fantasy realm, as well as the side of me that longs for structure and order and purity. I'm 99% sure that I'm on the autism spectrum, and I know that most likely influences things as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TABA Posted June 5, 2016 Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2016 If this makes you feel good and gives you peace and contentment, I say Why Not? I can enjoy religious choral music or a performance of Handel's Messiah without believing the mythology. But if the religious dogma causes you to feel torn or guilty in any way, then that's another matter. Just my two cents worth... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindmaster Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 If this makes you feel good and gives you peace and contentment, I say Why Not? I can enjoy religious choral music or a performance of Handel's Messiah without believing the mythology. But if the religious dogma causes you to feel torn or guilty in any way, then that's another matter. Just my two cents worth... I think you can like that music without the religion. Lot's of people listen to "Pagan music" but aren't Pagans themselves. I listen to a lot of decidedly non-Pagan things as well like metal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 It could be that what you're looking for is something familiar right now, and that's ok. That said, I would be very careful with the church. The potential for fundamentalism even within their ranks is huge, and they can cause a lot of damage as a whole. Maybe it would help to think back to when you left for a different religion, and think about why you left back then. If you do decide to try it for awhile, ask questions, and don't accept canned responses as answers. Don't make any quick decisions, no matter what they might tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 If it's just the music, aesthetics, and ritual you like, enjoy them. Believing the dogma is another issue. Where do you stand on that? Do you feel comfortable in that setting when you don't (??) share their beliefs? Have you thought about other ways to fill the need for ritual, like meditation, paganism, or something else? I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying the aesthetic aspects of religious culture IF you can separate that from beliefs and dogma. And if you don't support them financially you aren't supporting a problematic organization. So, do what you need to do, and ignore people who denigrate your process by calling it "cute". It's your process, only you can go through it. Keep us posted, we'll support you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I'll share with you what works really well for me. I love the teachings of Eknath Easwaran. He took the best parts of the major world religions and synthesized them into a beautiful way of meditating and living. I love his 8-Point program for spiritual living: http://www.easwaran.org/the-eight-point-program.html I understand the emotional pull back to Catholicism, and I understand the love of the rituals. If it works for you and doesn't cause you psychological harm, then great. But please keep your mind open to other possibilities that might be healthier and based more in demonstrable reality... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiyana Posted June 20, 2016 Author Share Posted June 20, 2016 Your link is cool, Jeff. I like the idea. I think my hatred/anger toward Christianity (or religion in general) has melted. I see all religion now as kind of a way to connect with "other" or "spirit" or "energy" or whatever you want to call it. I didn't really like not having any kind of connection toward that. It was okay in the beginning, but after awhile I really missed having a spiritual side to my life. I looked into other things that I felt drawn to, but I couldn't really get into them, because I felt like a poser or something. With Catholicism, I don't feel like a poser, because it's my childhood religion. But at the same time, I don't have any of the negative connotations that I have with evangelicalism. All I really have are nice childhood memories, and thoughts of feeling connected to some of my family members, like my grandpa, who took his Catholic prayer book with him to WWII. It's more of a cultural/connection to roots thing, as well as a meditative practice. I even like the idea of going to confession, as kind of a therapeutic practice. I'm a weirdo. IDK. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted June 22, 2016 Do what makes you happy, Aiyana. It's nice to interact with you again, even from an opposing position. I don't oppose you, though I might have some serious issues with RC and Christianity as a whole... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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