Small Prayers

[Randinem]

As a chrsitian, I worked really hard on prayer. It took years of training for it to be a constant under tone of my day. I prayed constant small prayers. I woke up and went straight into 'thank you for this day', spent the day saying small prayers for basically everything, and another thank you as I fell asleep. It has been a year and a half and I still can't seem to get past these. I say them before thinking. I am trying to work on changing them from god focused to just general thankfulness and meditation minutes. I know that it will take time based on the time it took to develop the habit initially. Has anyone else experienced this?

[yunea]

I did the same when I was a believer. Every little thing somehow warranted a "thank you Jesus"!

 

When deconverting, what I did when I found myself thanking Jesus was that I took a second to say to myself, "actually no - yay, me!" or whoever actually deserved it. One can still be thankful and give praise where it's due, and actually be more honest about it. It's nice.

[radren]

The Christians have built up a legacy of irreverence by presuming prayer alone would move God to act. When prayer becomes a daily ritual, it is no longer a prayer.

 

In the Old Testament, Jehovah did not desire sacrifices, but commanded repentance. The most effectual prayers were almost always accompanied by sackcloth, mourning, and fasting.

[qadeshet]

As a chrsitian, I worked really hard on prayer. It took years of training for it to be a constant under tone of my day. I prayed constant small prayers. I woke up and went straight into 'thank you for this day', spent the day saying small prayers for basically everything, and another thank you as I fell asleep. It has been a year and a half and I still can't seem to get past these. I say them before thinking. I am trying to work on changing them from god focused to just general thankfulness and meditation minutes. I know that it will take time based on the time it took to develop the habit initially. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

I get great feelings of peace and serenity from meditation and healing music. Native American flutes and drums are also great. If you have Spotify, just do a search. I recommed David & Steve Gordon as well as Technomind. Headphones or ear buds are needed.

[Randinem]

Yunea- I love what you said. One of my new favorite things is saying 'yay me!' Plus I've started noticing just how strong people are. I used to attribute all of that to god and now I think 'man that person is badass, look at them go!'

 

Radren- I didn't feel like prayer was a ritual. For me it was very centering and spiritual. It was one of the reasons that I held on for so long. I couldn't seperate that intense feeling from a higher being.

 

Qadeshet- Thank you! I have started doing a sleep meditation I found on YouTube and It has been helpful. I am looking foward to looking into who you have suggested.

[qadeshet]

Sometimes I still have this thought: Thank Heavens. But if there were any gods that answered prayers, then there would only be one Religion.

[Guest]

I catch myself doing that as well when I'm happy or thankful. Even more so when I by accident have a "sinful" thought or deed. I sometimes pray "God, forgive me" in a reflex.

[qadeshet]

Yunea- I love what you said. One of my new favorite things is saying 'yay me!' Plus I've started noticing just how strong people are. I used to attribute all of that to god and now I think 'man that person is badass, look at them go!'

 

Radren- I didn't feel like prayer was a ritual. For me it was very centering and spiritual. It was one of the reasons that I held on for so long. I couldn't seperate that intense feeling from a higher being.

 

Qadeshet- Thank you! I have started doing a sleep meditation I found on YouTube and It has been helpful. I am looking foward to looking into who you have suggested.

 

Really, Meditation and Healing Music are wonderful tools to calm the Mind. It's almost like a restful one hour vacation. For general relaxation, David & Steve Gordon are my favs. I love Native American themes combined with the sounds of Nature. Spotify is free, and don't forget the headphones. If you can do this every day, then there is a combination effect. It gets even better.

[midniterider]

As a chrsitian, I worked really hard on prayer. It took years of training for it to be a constant under tone of my day. I prayed constant small prayers. I woke up and went straight into 'thank you for this day', spent the day saying small prayers for basically everything, and another thank you as I fell asleep. It has been a year and a half and I still can't seem to get past these. I say them before thinking. I am trying to work on changing them from god focused to just general thankfulness and meditation minutes. I know that it will take time based on the time it took to develop the habit initially. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

Don't stress about it too much. You're reversing a habit that you intentionally cultivated for years. Don't over-analyze your small prayers and how they may conflict with your Jesus-free world view. Stuff like this becomes mindless habit, like smoking. Bring your mind to bear on the problem. Be 'conscious' of these small prayers and continue changing them like you have been doing.

 

Dismantle this habit a piece at a time.

 

Maybe start removing a specific prayer like the one you do before bed. Just make yourself stop doing that one particular prayer at that one particular time of day and leave the others alone. Until the bed time prayer is no more. Then when the time feels right, start doing away with the morning prayer. Set a reminder on your phone in the morning that says, "Dont pray this morning."

[qadeshet]

 

As a chrsitian, I worked really hard on prayer. It took years of training for it to be a constant under tone of my day. I prayed constant small prayers. I woke up and went straight into 'thank you for this day', spent the day saying small prayers for basically everything, and another thank you as I fell asleep. It has been a year and a half and I still can't seem to get past these. I say them before thinking. I am trying to work on changing them from god focused to just general thankfulness and meditation minutes. I know that it will take time based on the time it took to develop the habit initially. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

Don't stress about it too much. You're reversing a habit that you intentionally cultivated for years. Don't over-analyze your small prayers and how they may conflict with your Jesus-free world view. Stuff like this becomes mindless habit, like smoking. Bring your mind to bear on the problem. Be 'conscious' of these small prayers and continue changing them like you have been doing.

 

 

midniterider, I liked your reply, but can I add something? I know you were saying that both were a "mindless habit", but smoking is a little more deadly. How about this " Don't over-analyze your small prayers and how they may conflict with your Jesus-free world view. Stuff like this becomes mindless habit, like scratching your nose."

[Margee]

I don't pray anymore but every once in a while I can still shout out.. 'Praise Gawd or Hallelujah' when I'm in a great mood. My favorite now is 'Thank you dear Universe'. Whatever I say, I'm just being grateful.  When I want something? I say, ''Please, Please Please''... but I'm not really talking to anybody. Lol The habit can take years when you've said these things for many years. Don't beat yourself up whatever you do. It takes times to break habits.

 

(hug)

[Randinem]

Y'all are awesome! Thanks! I'm not stressed out about it. At jworst it's annoying, at best it's a reminder to take time and meditate. All of your suggestions have been very helpful in moving past this part.

 

Margee, I love that you do that. Whenever I get surprised or taken aback, I say 'holy mary mother of Jesus' ???? I was a Mennonite so I have no idea where that comes from, but it's one thing I'm okay with keeping.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I still pray several times every day... if "god damn it" counts as prayer.

[austere]

Oh, yeah, I totally do this. except it's mostly a 'when things go wrong' kind of situation, and I think 'god, help me with this'. And then I think, wait, who is that again?

 

I really try not to do it because generally things turn out all right anyway. But if I pray beforehand I might give the stupid part of my brain ammunition to say 'look, he might be real!'. I'm still bloody well superstitious enough that I don't need to throw jesus back into the mix!

[GirlOnFire]

I do much like Margee does.  I will shout out in gratefulness something that on the surface would sound/seem Christian-y, but there's not the same heart behind it, so I'm just like, "whatever," and shrug it off.  I think any expression of gratefulness is good for the soul....even if it's accidentally directed - at least in wordage - at "god."  As for the bad moments, sometimes I'll find myself feeling compelled to pray to alleviate stress, but then, like others have stated, I turn it from being directed toward god/Jesus to being more of a mindfulness/meditation exercise.  But yes, it is hard to reprogram habits we did so routinely for so long.  You'll figure out how to turn it off/change your responses eventually.  Don't worry if you goof in the meantime -- I doubt the same heart is behind it as used to be, so it's not like it matters.