Randinem Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 We sent our adoption paperwork to state a few months ago. They called today and want a referral letter from a pastor before they can approve us to adopt from foster care. I can tell you, and my kids will agree, I am a much better parent now than I ever was as a church goer. It's already been almost 3 years that we have been waiting because we switched from a religious based adoption agency to state. We are already foster parents and are frequently asked to sit in on panels to teach others how to make connections with bio parents because we are damn good at it. I just want a son . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 That's really odd. Is there a separation of church and state thing going on there? It seems like the state should not be asking for that. Can you just tell them that you do not currently attend a church and ask them if there is another reference that would qualify? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GirlOnFire Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Ugh! That is heartbreaking! I am so, so sorry!! And why would you need a letter from a pastor if you're now through the state? That makes no sense! What about from a therapist, or a teacher, or someone else who works with children and families in some capacity and can vouch for your integrity as a parent?! Why must it be from a church?! That just seems really odd. I can understand why you're upset about this - I would be, too. It's very unfair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randinem Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 We are in a hardcore Bible Belt state. I know others who have tried and given up because of the difficulties as atheist. I'm sure it would be a problem if we lived in a different state. I should be able to find a way around it, but I know it will take time and a ton of effort and I'm so tired of waiting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorPoet Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Is there a UU church near you? They might be willing to help you out. You could also contact the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Their entire reason for existence is to fight violations of church/state separation. http://ffrf.org/about/contact/ The ACLU might also take interest in your situation, can't hurt to try to get their help. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 If a state agency is requiring a pastoral reference, then that is highly illegal! I'd be extremely pissed, too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 Yup. Time to call the ACLU for advice. But I'd sure try to find a way around it without a confrontation because they'll fight back and delay it for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 3, 2016 Share Posted July 3, 2016 We sent our adoption paperwork to state a few months ago. They called today and want a referral letter from a pastor before they can approve us to adopt from foster care. I can tell you, and my kids will agree, I am a much better parent now than I ever was as a church goer. It's already been almost 3 years that we have been waiting because we switched from a religious based adoption agency to state. We are already foster parents and are frequently asked to sit in on panels to teach others how to make connections with bio parents because we are damn good at it. I just want a son . "Dear Southern State Adoption Agency, I dont know any pastors. Here are a number of alternative trustworthy people who can vouch for my character." "Dear Attorney Generals Office or State Office of Investigation, the State Adoption Agency feels that I'm good enough to foster children for them for X number of years but for some reason I need a pastor's recommendation letter to adopt. This is a needless delay for an absurd reason. I have provided sufficient documentation to prove my character. Please check into this problem. Thanks." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randinem Posted July 7, 2016 Author Share Posted July 7, 2016 Thank you everyone. I received the paperwork today and she had found our old pastor letter and used it. For now, I am going to leave it at that, but once this is over I do want to get involved in advocating for other non-religious families who want to adopt. I have read so many stories similar to mine while trying to figure this out and it is just sad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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