Stamps1962 Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 I should make it clear I am not angry or especially upset at what happened to me recently, I've seen others post on the phenomenon of hearing from old friends from an earlier time in your life who drop you like a hotcake once they figure you are no longer religious. My story is typical. About three months ago out of the blue I got a call from a childhood friend I will call Danny. He lived up the block from me, we were inseparable from the time we were eight or so until I moved away at age 15. He apparently put effort into tracking me down, we spent a good hour updating each other,. He mentioned that 'Mary Smith' (not her name) is trying to locate you also, that she had asked him to help her. My first impulse was to ask 'who'? Th name meant little to me although it did seem familiar. Long story short she is an old classmate from grade school. intensely curious about what became of me. I barely remember her. Anyway Danny gave her my #, she called the next day, I knew it was her so let it roll over to messages, glad i did. She went on for ten minutes, again stuff about folks I barely remember. . . I sent her a brief email acknowledging her call, she sent me back the longest message i ever received, three pages. She went all through all the neighbors on our street and what became of all of them. I replied telling her I could not possibly reply in kind but did mention a couple of things about our old neighborhood she hadn't. She'd been asking where I went to Middle school, also college and what 'academic honors' I'd received. At that point I decided to drop the pretense and be honest. I told her i wen to a little Christian school for grades 7-9, that my parents were very religious and this had been their decision. I think the implication was clear that I felt it had limited me. I also told her I had not received any honors, barely graduated from HS and College, I'd been diagnosed with a form of Attention Deficit Syndrome later in life and while it was nice to have an explanation as to why I could not concentrate, it did not help me academically. Well it's been a month and nothing from either of them. I was probably too brutally honest but I barely knew these people and saw no need to soft soap the truth and what I said was not that radical. Danny's mom was a Seventh Day adventist, his dad nothing as I recall. He did not mention any church activity but i picked up a clue from when i asked him about a girl I'd liked in grade school and he said she turned out to be 'a bad girl.' I asked why and he said she had a child 'out of wedlock' when she was 19. I thought he was joking but no, I don't think he was. I thought geesh, can I be friends again with a prissy guy like this? I thought about emailing Danny again, my wife says no. He owes you one now and if he doesn't follow up you shouldn't either. She thinks Mary was trying to find out if I was 'available' or something, she is widowed now. Anyway that's my story. These people are strangers to me now and it is not worth spending mch emotional effort on them. Mostly these things do not go well. Comments welcome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 Mary sounds like a stalker! Academic honors? Who cares, years later, if you got academic honors!? I agree with your wife - she may have been hunting for a new husband and was really awkward at it! Since no one expressly mentioned religion, it could just be that you didn't meet some arbitrary standard they were looking for. Weird, either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quinntar Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I should make it clear I am not angry or especially upset at what happened to me recently, I've seen others post on the phenomenon of hearing from old friends from an earlier time in your life who drop you like a hotcake once they figure you are no longer religious. My story is typical. About three months ago out of the blue I got a call from a childhood friend I will call Danny. He lived up the block from me, we were inseparable from the time we were eight or so until I moved away at age 15. He apparently put effort into tracking me down, we spent a good hour updating each other,. He mentioned that 'Mary Smith' (not her name) is trying to locate you also, that she had asked him to help her. My first impulse was to ask 'who'? Th name meant little to me although it did seem familiar. Long story short she is an old classmate from grade school. intensely curious about what became of me. I barely remember her. Anyway Danny gave her my #, she called the next day, I knew it was her so let it roll over to messages, glad i did. She went on for ten minutes, again stuff about folks I barely remember. . . I sent her a brief email acknowledging her call, she sent me back the longest message i ever received, three pages. She went all through all the neighbors on our street and what became of all of them. I replied telling her I could not possibly reply in kind but did mention a couple of things about our old neighborhood she hadn't. She'd been asking where I went to Middle school, also college and what 'academic honors' I'd received. At that point I decided to drop the pretense and be honest. I told her i wen to a little Christian school for grades 7-9, that my parents were very religious and this had been their decision. I think the implication was clear that I felt it had limited me. I also told her I had not received any honors, barely graduated from HS and College, I'd been diagnosed with a form of Attention Deficit Syndrome later in life and while it was nice to have an explanation as to why I could not concentrate, it did not help me academically. Well it's been a month and nothing from either of them. I was probably too brutally honest but I barely knew these people and saw no need to soft soap the truth and what I said was not that radical. Danny's mom was a Seventh Day adventist, his dad nothing as I recall. He did not mention any church activity but i picked up a clue from when i asked him about a girl I'd liked in grade school and he said she turned out to be 'a bad girl.' I asked why and he said she had a child 'out of wedlock' when she was 19. I thought he was joking but no, I don't think he was. I thought geesh, can I be friends again with a prissy guy like this? I thought about emailing Danny again, my wife says no. He owes you one now and if he doesn't follow up you shouldn't either. She thinks Mary was trying to find out if I was 'available' or something, she is widowed now. Anyway that's my story. These people are strangers to me now and it is not worth spending mch emotional effort on them. Mostly these things do not go well. Comments welcome. I think you're right, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 The childhood "friends" that I have reconnected with and dropped me the quickest seem to be of the Dominionist persuasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToHellWithMe Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 As you said, you were brutally honest. She couldn't handle it. Good riddance, perhaps. Or maybe you dumped too much on her? Dunno. Your wife's guess sounds reasonable as well. But didn't Mary hear from Danny that you are married? Or maybe Danny didn't realise that it was relevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamps1962 Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 Yeah I perhaps shared too much. Years of living with a spouse who went through Recovery will do that for you. You forget not everybody is comfortable with letting things out. What I think happened is that Mary told Danny how shocked she was at my comments. Danny then decided I was a 'bad' person. It's their loss. I still don't remember who the hell Mary is. Whoever she is, she apparently doesn't like me. Too damned bad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I found a guy from high school and contacted him. It was a nice chat, but I told him I had been in a cult for a while, and his reply of "well at least you came back to the right way" reminded me that he was fairly active as a Presbyterian in school. That's a bit funny, he stuck with it and I went total fundy then dropped it. After I mentioned maybe stopping by to see him on a trip to California he went quiet, so I assumed that meant "bye cult weirdo, let the past go". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 You know, if someone from my distant past called me up out of the blue, we might have a nice chat for a bit, but that does not mean I would want to rekindle that friendship. We would both have changed in all the years between and I would recognize that you can't just pick up where you left off. If they said they wanted to stop by during a trip, I would probably get quiet too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I've called old friends and found that they've gotten more religious since last time... Never calling again. Twice in last year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I should make it clear I am not angry or especially upset at what happened to me recently, I've seen others post on the phenomenon of hearing from old friends from an earlier time in your life who drop you like a hotcake once they figure you are no longer religious. My story is typical. About three months ago out of the blue I got a call from a childhood friend I will call Danny. He lived up the block from me, we were inseparable from the time we were eight or so until I moved away at age 15. He apparently put effort into tracking me down, we spent a good hour updating each other,. He mentioned that 'Mary Smith' (not her name) is trying to locate you also, that she had asked him to help her. My first impulse was to ask 'who'? Th name meant little to me although it did seem familiar. Long story short she is an old classmate from grade school. intensely curious about what became of me. I barely remember her. Anyway Danny gave her my #, she called the next day, I knew it was her so let it roll over to messages, glad i did. She went on for ten minutes, again stuff about folks I barely remember. . . I sent her a brief email acknowledging her call, she sent me back the longest message i ever received, three pages. She went all through all the neighbors on our street and what became of all of them. I replied telling her I could not possibly reply in kind but did mention a couple of things about our old neighborhood she hadn't. She'd been asking where I went to Middle school, also college and what 'academic honors' I'd received. At that point I decided to drop the pretense and be honest. I told her i wen to a little Christian school for grades 7-9, that my parents were very religious and this had been their decision. I think the implication was clear that I felt it had limited me. I also told her I had not received any honors, barely graduated from HS and College, I'd been diagnosed with a form of Attention Deficit Syndrome later in life and while it was nice to have an explanation as to why I could not concentrate, it did not help me academically. Well it's been a month and nothing from either of them. I was probably too brutally honest but I barely knew these people and saw no need to soft soap the truth and what I said was not that radical. Danny's mom was a Seventh Day adventist, his dad nothing as I recall. He did not mention any church activity but i picked up a clue from when i asked him about a girl I'd liked in grade school and he said she turned out to be 'a bad girl.' I asked why and he said she had a child 'out of wedlock' when she was 19. I thought he was joking but no, I don't think he was. I thought geesh, can I be friends again with a prissy guy like this? I thought about emailing Danny again, my wife says no. He owes you one now and if he doesn't follow up you shouldn't either. She thinks Mary was trying to find out if I was 'available' or something, she is widowed now. Anyway that's my story. These people are strangers to me now and it is not worth spending mch emotional effort on them. Mostly these things do not go well. Comments welcome. I lost contact with everyone I went to school with. And I dont have anything in common with them now anyway except a dumpy little economically depressed home town that I don't care about and dont live in anymore. It would be weird to be contacted by someone out of the blue, like that, imo (but I've done it myself). But sometimes people are interested in whatever happened to so-and-so without any other motive than curiosity. I've found teachers and people I went to school with 35 years ago and emailed a few and friended them on facebook and we never talk to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I've called old friends and found that they've gotten more religious since last time... Never calling again. Twice in last year I friended someone on FB I knew in the military a long time ago. We were all heathens back then. He's a Christian right winger now and posts political stuff on his feed. Meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Got message via 'taterBook from a name that was a bit odd. Answered, found it was one of the class of '79 trying to reconnect for a reunion. Asked similar questions by this nice voice, and in the many hours in a dozen landline calls felt an unease to she and her life. Did ride up and met her. Well appointed upper middle class spot out in our desert. She WAS "..that girl from High SkuLle" that everyone wanted, even a few got. Had been introduced her back then when being the "..boys I TOLD you about..". Reminiscing, catching up over coffee, finding what she wants is another "ride" as her current stud is all but worn out. (Yeah, like me with 1 and a half legs and other shit going .. ) Told her simply that IF that was serious that I'd take her out on scooter to private place spend a weekend with her. Went back to her married life.. Interesting, hadn't used that many condoms and oral dams in years.. Got that itch in her scratched, got back to finding out where our crowd went. .mil, .edu. .broke, .life, the typical spectrum of people. Back to topic? Was funny, she was a hardcore church member. So even after cucking her husband and showing off some interesting talents, she insisted "..she was a GOOD CHRISTIAN.." Man's Rule 3 violation gents.. "Never stick your crank in crazy." Violated that for some kickass MILF fun. Know a few more of my classmates, caught up with some dickfaces, other decent folks. Was ostracized by the Crazy Lay for not being religious... Despite being just fifty-odd miles from she and two others from '79 I would have to cut my crank off to avoid more proclivities built off of "..meeting up with Classmates." Especially those foxes who seem to find no problem with riding off into the sunset. Prefer now that no one but a few of the fuckers from that era know what and where I am now. Almost fourty years, why now looking up this cranky assed old fuck? (Yes, with proper protection I will throw one or two..) kevin,GoodToBeMe,Fuckin'L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 I had something similar happen to me a few months ago. I reconnected with an old Christian friend named Steve. He and I attended East Texas Baptist University together back in 1985-86. We were both very religious at the time, and Steve still is. We had a great time catching up, but as soon as he found out I was no longer a Christian, the relationship started to sour. Steve arrogantly assured me that I had "turned my back on God" at some point in time, before he ever heard any of my reasons for leaving the faith. I tried to explain my religious journey to him, but he really wasn't open to hearing it. In an effort to be understood, I pointed him to an article I had written a couple of years ago about my journey from Christianity to Atheism, which you can find here: http://smokeyinthebox.com/journey-christianity-atheism/ Steve stopped communicating with me after he read that article, and shortly after that silence began I commented on a ridiculous creationist meme he posted on Facebook. I had a few beers under my belt that night and I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But it really didn't matter. He unfriended me at that point and he has refused to answer any of the emails I have sent him, so I finally gave up and accepted his childish behavior and his judgmental decision. While I was still angry and feeling hurt, I sent him one final email telling him that I thought he was a typically ignorant, arrogant, self-righteous, judgmental Christian. And that was the end of it... Glory! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamps1962 Posted July 27, 2016 Author Share Posted July 27, 2016 Still nothing from either, I'll be surprised if there is any. Danny's FB page has images of Jesus all bloody dragging a cross, among other such things. Also lots of male bonding with his military buddies. Nothing wrong with that but it's not me at all. I think we are on different paths in life and perhaps he realized that. It is what it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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