Brother Jeff Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 I started the "Things Fundies say on Facebook" thread back in 2011, and it's still going strong. Glory! Time for a new topic. When fundies say things that make you just go "wow", drop it in here.... Here are a couple of Facebook posts and my responses to start this glorious thread off: Religious people... sometimes just... wow. "God will never give you more than you can handle" or "God will overcome all of your problems. Just stop and pray"... etc. Yeah? Try telling that to an impoverished and emaciated child starving to death in Africa... Religious people... sometimes just... wow. A friend of a friend had this to say: "Well, if this country were more run by the bible, we would be in much better shape." This tells me that this person has never actually read the Bible. But, sadly, that is typical for most Christians. They loudly proclaim that the Bible is the Word of God, but yet they rarely actually READ IT. If I thought I was in possession of the very words of GOD, I would read that book from cover to cover as often as possible and hope to be riveted by every divine word.... Yet, when one ACTUALLY READS THE BIBLE, they find that it begins with ridiculous myths, which are soon followed by multiple accounts of God-ordained mass murder and genocide. Women are never treated as much better than property, and child abuse is frequent. Slavery is not only condoned, but is accepted as normal. Human sacrifice is supposedly required so that us awful humans can make it to heaven, and the shedding of blood is required for the remission of sins. These barbaric concepts are found in a book from a barbaric time in history. And at the end of this allegedly "Good Book", if Revelation were to come true in today's world, BILLIONS of decent non-Christian people would be murdered in horrible ways and then be condemned to an eternity of conscious torment. This is a "Good Book"? This is the "Word of God"? I don't think so... if so, it's certainly not the "word" of any god worth knowing or worth serving... Glory! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 That lady who said God made the tornado skip her house, therefore sparing her life. Wow. So the other houses/people who were not spared? . . . You're somehow more special than they are? . . . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 "All things work together for good for those who love God." -to the person with an incurable disease that causes constant never ending pain, the child who is molested by her pastor when no one is looking, the mother who believes in God and prays daily for help that never comes as she watches her children die of hunger and disease . . . Wow. Oops, I realize that I was supposed to post things from Facebook, etc. Sorry. This was just one I have already heard used multiple times to excuse every tragedy known to have befallen a Christian. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Oops, I realize that I was supposed to post things from Facebook, etc. I think Jeff's examples came from Facebook/social media, but I don't think ours have to. So, one of mine is from my father in-law, said from the pulpit as a pastor at an Assemblies of God church: "Anyone who doesn't accept Jesus Christ is possessed by Satan... or one of his minions." Just... wow. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Yeah, the "wow" stuff can come from anywhere. I just happen to see a lot of it on Facebook... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Sister Lisa: I will be praying for all of you. Translation: I'll ask my god to interfere with your basic human right of self-determination and force you to believe as I do, because if you don't, my god will barbecue you forever... but he loves you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Another prayer one: "I'll pray for you." Translation: I don't want to actually do anything to help you or make your situation any better because that would require too much involvement, so I'll throw it up to the sky to make MYSELF feel better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Heard yesterday - "If there is something that really scares you, makes no sense and is against your emotions - do THAT. Our flesh listens to Satan." Oh. So I should, like, jump in front of a bus then? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 "I'm putting out a fleece to see if I should take that job or not." Because the God of the universe has nothing better to do than help you with your job indecision and deals with it by magical hocus pocus? One I heard in college (and couldn't believe even though a Christian): "I saw 5 churches [we were driving home from an event] and I told God if I saw 10 total before we got home, I would take that as a sign to become a preacher. I did!" Wow. "I couldn't find my keys, so I asked God to find them for me, and after I looked a little longer - there they were! God is so great!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjn Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Oops, I realize that I was supposed to post things from Facebook, etc. I think Jeff's examples came from Facebook/social media, but I don't think ours have to. So, one of mine is from my father in-law, said from the pulpit as a pastor at an Assemblies of God church: "Anyone who doesn't accept Jesus Christ is possessed by Satan... or one of his minions." Just... wow. How can anyone be personally accountable then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsathoggua Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I started the "Things Fundies say on Facebook" thread back in 2011, and it's still going strong. Glory! Time for a new topic. When fundies say things that make you just go "wow", drop it in here.... Here are a couple of Facebook posts and my responses to start this glorious thread off: Religious people... sometimes just... wow. "God will never give you more than you can handle" or "God will overcome all of your problems. Just stop and pray"... etc. Yeah? Try telling that to an impoverished and emaciated child starving to death in Africa... Religious people... sometimes just... wow. A friend of a friend had this to say: "Well, if this country were more run by the bible, we would be in much better shape." This tells me that this person has never actually read the Bible. But, sadly, that is typical for most Christians. They loudly proclaim that the Bible is the Word of God, but yet they rarely actually READ IT. If I thought I was in possession of the very words of GOD, I would read that book from cover to cover as often as possible and hope to be riveted by every divine word.... Yet, when one ACTUALLY READS THE BIBLE, they find that it begins with ridiculous myths, which are soon followed by multiple accounts of God-ordained mass murder and genocide. Women are never treated as much better than property, and child abuse is frequent. Slavery is not only condoned, but is accepted as normal. Human sacrifice is supposedly required so that us awful humans can make it to heaven, and the shedding of blood is required for the remission of sins. These barbaric concepts are found in a book from a barbaric time in history. And at the end of this allegedly "Good Book", if Revelation were to come true in today's world, BILLIONS of decent non-Christian people would be murdered in horrible ways and then be condemned to an eternity of conscious torment. This is a "Good Book"? This is the "Word of God"? I don't think so... if so, it's certainly not the "word" of any god worth knowing or worth serving... Glory! It is even sadder and more ridiculous when the church actually does emphasize reading and knowing the bible very well -- I'm talking about the ultra-fundie "Churches of Christ" that I grew up attending -- and still thinks all this. No, the world ain'ta gonna be in better shape because of this awful tome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Brother Jeff, Gladd this topic is not exclusively for FB as I do not have an fB account. My wife and I were watching a docu-drama on the life of a middle ages explorer wherein there was a scene of a man and woman begin burned at the stake for blasphemy of the Catholic church (the wife is fundy xtian). I attempted to open up a conversation about how horrific religions in general have treated there own throughout the ages. She replied with "they SHOULD be burned at the steak for denying the lord!!!!" Come again? WTF? HUH? Just WOW! Did she really just say that? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 So, one of mine is from my father in-law, said from the pulpit as a pastor at an Assemblies of God church: "Anyone who doesn't accept Jesus Christ is possessed by Satan... or one of his minions." Just... wow. How can anyone be personally accountable then? Shhhh... you think too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Furball Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Today I had a conversation with some Christians who actually said that "if God commands to kill someone, then he has a reason for it... I will do it" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted July 26, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted July 26, 2016 ^^Luxe, I've had similar conversations with christians. In one of those conversations, I said that in general we humans are better than biblegod because we don't systematically kill our own children. That couple said they'd kill their children if "god told them to" and were positive that god would send a substitute at the last minute, just like with Abraham/Isaac. "But what if he didn't?", I asked. Their reply was along the lines of "God is good, so if it's his will for the children to live, he'd send a substitute. If not, oh well." Those kinds of people are SCARY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 26, 2016 Moderator Share Posted July 26, 2016 I was told by a customer this morning that the little child who died in the hot car the other day was because god needed one more little angel in his kingdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Furball Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 I was told by a customer this morning that the little child who died in the hot car the other day was because god needed one more little angel in his kingdom. I would have asked them - "If god needed one more little angel in his kingdom, couldn't he have taken the child peacefully in it's sleep without cooking it alive in the car till it died?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 26, 2016 Moderator Share Posted July 26, 2016 I was told by a customer this morning that the little child who died in the hot car the other day was because god needed one more little angel in his kingdom. I would have asked them - "If god needed one more little angel in his kingdom, couldn't he have taken the child peacefully in it's sleep without cooking it alive in the car till it died?" I know what you're saying here furball. Trust me, I wanted to. This was a brand new client so i had to be on my best behavior today. None of my old clients would say this in front of me because most of them know I'm a non-believer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjn Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Today I had a conversation with some Christians who actually said that "if God commands to kill someone, then he has a reason for it... I will do it" Reasoning (hah!) of this kind reminds me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. If I was a firm believer in a deity and thought I received revelations, and said deity "commanded" me to kill someone, I'd say "Well... sorry, but no", and if it were my own son? "Well, turns out you're not worthy of worship. Fuck you". How Abraham can be seen as some sort of moral benchmark is beyond me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Furball Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Today I had a conversation with some Christians who actually said that "if God commands to kill someone, then he has a reason for it... I will do it" How Abraham can be seen as some sort of moral benchmark is beyond me. Let's not forget the horrible people listed in hebrews that are championed for their faith like good old mass murdering, crop destroying, animal killing, parent dishonoring and over all breaker of god's laws Samson. Yeah, these are people who should be emulated alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 I was told by a customer this morning that the little child who died in the hot car the other day was because god needed one more little angel in his kingdom. I would have asked them - "If god needed one more little angel in his kingdom, couldn't he have taken the child peacefully in it's sleep without cooking it alive in the car till it died?"Well, all things work together for good for those who love God! There must have been some reason God took him that way. God's ways are higher, after all. ???????????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 I was told by a customer this morning that the little child who died in the hot car the other day was because god needed one more little angel in his kingdom. Uh no, angels aren't morphed from dead humans............ and why would an allegedly omnipotent being "need" anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGNYTE Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Reasoning (hah!) of this kind reminds me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. If I was a firm believer in a deity and thought I received revelations, and said deity "commanded" me to kill someone, I'd say "Well... sorry, but no", and if it were my own son? "Well, turns out you're not worthy of worship. Fuck you". How Abraham can be seen as some sort of moral benchmark is beyond me. Good lord you people are hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetbutterfly Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 For me it's as simple as: "Sending prayers" or "Praying." As in, "A terrible tragedy just occurred and someone posted about it on social media and I need to reply with something comforting so I'm gonna write, 'praying.'" First of all, thanks for literally nothing. Secondly, I wonder how many of those people actually get down on their knees, fold their hands, bow their heads and ask the ceiling to lessen the pain of the person whose entire family was brutally murdered or whatever it was. Probably .00000000000002% 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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