Religious People... Sometimes Just... Wow

[♦ Fuego ♦]

The whole "praying for you" thing. If a god is good, why would you have to entreat him to do what is good? Why would you have to pound on his door at night for answers if he already knows what you need?

If he is alive, why do you look for signs instead of answers?

If he is your daddy and everyone who asks receives, whoever seeks finds, and whoever knocks he opens to, then why aren't you getting answers?

If you may "ask him for anything in my name and I will do it", why isn't he?

If you ask him for something good, does he give you a stone? Does he give you anything at all?

If he knows what you need before you ask, and you don't need to worry, then why don't you have rent money or enough food?

If he takes care of the birds of the field who work their little feathery asses off searching for food, then why is your child sick with cancer?

The promises sound great until it is time to collect, then you find he always has a "better plan for you" and you should "just trust" and "who are you to question god".

 

The sick sick sick part of it is, there is no one there listening to their cries. They've been taught (like we were) that there is this incredibly loving all-powerful god just waiting to pour out blessings on them. Just waiting, and waiting, and waiting...

[Lyra]

- So I'm a bit of a girly girl when it comes to enjoying pedicures/manicures and nail polish. I was talking with a relative who'd never had her nails done before (lack of money isn't an issue for her) and was playfully trying to convince her to get her nails done with me, just once, for fun and to try the experience. I wasn't being *too* pushy, but more of a "come on, just try it, it'll be fun!" type thing.

Her response: 

*holds up her hands* "Do you see these nails? Changing these nails would be like an assault on God."

[inside I just went WTF....then made up an excuse to GTFO and chat with the other relatives]

 

- I was once trying to have a rational conversation with a fundie about how other people are just as "Certain" of their religions as Christians are of theirs. I used the approach of "What about an innocent person in, say, rural China who has love in their heart and follows their conscience and lives a good life of helping others, but they happen to be Buddhist because that's what their relatives taught them as the one true god? Wouldn't God understand why they'd believe it?"

The fundie response: "I don't know, but China is a communist country, and communists don't have love in their hearts."

OK then. I'm obviously not a fan of communism myself, but that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

 

- People who are brainwashed by Fox News to the extent that they think liberals/Democrats are all in cohorts with the Devil and part of a satanic agenda. "Society is a messed up place," etc. I don't think either Reps or Dems are 100% right, and I can understand rational conservatives despite being more liberal myself. But I'm referring to the people who are no longer coming from the realm of reality and who are batshit nuts about it.

 

- I once asked a Christian "Do you believe the Genesis creation story is a metaphor, or do you literally believe at face-value that God created the Earth before the sun and stars and that it all took 7 literal human-defined calendar days?"

Their response - "I don't know, I wasn't there."

 

Grrr!!!

[Guest]

I was at my best friend's wedding and his mother was obviously there, disapproving of his marriage to a "heathen girl." After the ceremony his mother disgusting-sweetly asked me how I was and thanked me for being a groomsman and wearing pants (like wtf I hate dresses) as if it was a sacrifice. Then her friend mentioned that my hair had grown out fast since I shaved it two years ago. My friends mother immediately interjected, "but you look way prettier with long hair." When she saw that I was taken aback, she backpedaled so hard, saying that she prefers long hair, rather than the truth, which is that true women must have long hair. Glorious.

 

There was also a time when my mom posted a picture of me and her fundie man friend commented "I like her hair better like this than shaved." Like wtf.

 

My mom, a fundie, also passive aggressively sent me a bunch of links to "prettier" wedding dresses than the one I bought at the store that I loved. Why? Well, it's sleeveless and I don't shave. So she didn't want the bad reputation as a mother that her daughter is barbaric and not womanly. So she decided that the dress wasn't ideal (didn't tell me why) and sent me links to "better" dresses. They all happened to have sleeves.

 

What's with fundies and controlling women's hair?!

[Lyra]

^^ Those people probably obsess over men's hair too. I bet if a guy had long hair, they'd give him the same kind of crap. Ditto for tattoos!

 

If a guy showed up who was in any way "alternative" looking, wore eyeliner, had dyed or "too long" hair, looked too "feminine" in any type of way, you know they'd be rudely getting on his case too. 

[Guest]

True! I was thinking though about those verses in Timothy, though, which are specifically about women. Surprisingly, though, all the people above have no problem with "alternative" dress. O.o No logic.

[Lyra]

I think in the big-picture scale, the sexist crap in Timothy and Paul can hurt men just as much as women. For instance, it hurts gay men and more laid-back or nurturing men who may not WANT to be some kind of domineering controller - for example, what about all the guys with sensitive natures whose natural talents are in things like teaching or nursing? The issue of who should be more "dominant" versus more "supportive" (if not 50/50) should be based on personality styles and each couple's preferences, which in some cases are the man and sometimes is the woman. But it's not some black-and-white gender-determined thing where everyone of each gender is the same.

 

Also, boys who are raised with those kinds of rigid gender roles and also isolated from the "real" world can grow up with a mindset where they expect women will always be deferential to them and will want to be SAHMs, etc. But when they get out of their fundie bubble, and women don't respect well to the misogyny, te men don't know how to adjust or how to realistically interact with women in a healthy way, so they end up feeling alone and betrayed by society. I have a theory that that's where a lot of women-haters come from. In other words, misogynistic religions influence the attitudes of little boys (who can't help what they are taught), and then it messes them up when they're men and are confused on how to have an actual relationship with a woman in the real world.

 

If religions stopped trying to force people to fit molds based on gender, and stopped trying to brainwash society into how each gender "should" be, and instead kids were taught to just get to know each person as an individual regardless of gender, these negative stereotypes would gradually go away and  the "battle of the sexes" would cease to exist.

[Guest]

Thanks for your insight! That definitely opened my mind to some good points.

[Lyra]

I am really really hopeful that as the current generation (the people who are currently small kids) grows up, this "men are this way, women are that way" crap will be gone for good, and people will see other humans as individuals instead. We're almost there, I think, but one more generation will smooth out the last remaining bumps. 

[Tsathoggua]

I am really really hopeful that as the current generation (the people who are currently small kids) grows up, this "men are this way, women are that way" crap will be gone for good, and people will see other humans as individuals instead. We're almost there, I think, but one more generation will smooth out the last remaining bumps. 

 

That is my hope, as well.

[GirlOnFire]

This one made me facepalm pretty hard....

 

I am still good friends via Facebook with one of my friends from bible college (18 years ago).  Anyway, she "liked" her best friend's status, which somehow then made it visible to me, and the post was praising god because god heard the prayers of her children when they prayed for good parking at a theme park, and because the theme park had her child's favorite ice cream flavor.

 

Are you kidding me right now???  That's called probability, it's not god!  Calm down, fundies!  lol

[Daffodil]

This one made me facepalm pretty hard....

 

I am still good friends via Facebook with one of my friends from bible college (18 years ago).  Anyway, she "liked" her best friend's status, which somehow then made it visible to me, and the post was praising god because god heard the prayers of her children when they prayed for good parking at a theme park, and because the theme park had her child's favorite ice cream flavor.

 

Are you kidding me right now???  That's called probability, it's not god!  Calm down, fundies!  lol

Not only that, but the Almighty God of the Universe has to stop whatever important thing he was doing to make sure your kid gets the ice cream he wants!? Face palm, indeed! It never ceases to amaze me that they seem to think that finding a parking spot is on the same level as feeding a starving child for one day.

[Lyra]

Or, you know, making it so that the problem of starving kids doesn't exist at all. Or human trafficking, or women being treated as property in backwards countries, or the concentration camps in North Korea, or people in Africa being hacked to death by machetes in genocide, or natural disasters and diseases that kill people for no reason at all.

 

But, you know, at least god found some time to help out with theme park parking and ice cream flavors.

[GirlOnFire]

I think that's probably what bugged me the most....  It was so saturated in privilege it was disgusting!

 

Most of the world can't afford to take their kids to a theme park or get ice cream, yet god so richly "blessed" you with great parking and ice cream for your picky-eater kid because your privileged upper-middle-class kids prayed about it??  

 

Riiiiiight.  That's so how the real world works.  *eye roll*

[Lyra]

Exactly.

[Costanza]

The preacher at our church has been having a lot of health problems lately and a female lay speaker from our church was filling in for him this past Sunday.  (Yes I still attend church and pretend I still believe to keep peace in the family).  

 

During prayer request time, at which time people can also say a praise that they have, the lay speaker said I have a praise.  I want to thank the lord for giving me this opportunity to speak today.  It really is a blessing.  (insert face palm at this time).  I was thinking is she seriously praising the lord for inflicting health problems on the pastor so she could speak today, because the only reason she was speaking was because of the pastors health issues.

 

As unbelievable as it is these Fundy Christians say stuff like this all the time and never stop to think how ridiculous a lot of it is.  However it does give me some good entertainment during otherwise unbearable church services.

[Jeff]

My sympathies to you

[yunea]

Their god sure is quite a guy. He is happy pampering a select few with blessings, ice cream and parking spaces while countless others suffer famine and poverty. Hooray. How do I get to that god's heaven again so I can praise him for eternity?!

[rjn]

You clearly do not understand the Lord and his infinitely wise and mysterious ways yunea!

[yunea]

Oh, sorry! Must have been satan lying to me!

[L.B.]

When I used to work at a fundy church, heard the pastor say:

 

"I know that I'm saved and I can't ever lose my salvation; I could go out downtown with a loaded gun and kill a dozen people in cold blood and then shoot myself and I would still be saved and go to Heaven."

 

Besides being terrible theology even if one were to believe the Xtian bullshit, I wonder all the time why so many fundies are interested in using such violent analogies - are they all repressed like this guy was (trust me; I'm bi and have had many gay friends over the years who had to try to "pass", and I can spot a closeted gay person from a mile away in most cases)?

 

I see posts and hear statements all the time from Christards who "can't wait to see the world burn before Jeebus comes back" and similar things.

 

They sound like little kids on the playground who got pushed down and had their turn on the swings taken away by big bullies. They sit in the sand, snot streaming, eyes watering, and breathily wish all sorts of calamity on their enemies.

[rjn]

L.B: I know, many fundy-Christians are really looking forward to seeing their fellow man burn. That's some genuine love right there!  

[MOHO]

Some religouis zealot changed the T.V. in our break room at work to some religous B.S. and then hid the remote so well that 2 days worth of searching has not reveled it's whereabouts.

 

That jackass is probably gloating as I type this thinking that god is going to reward them for their over-the-top passive/aggressive behavior.

[buffettphan]

^^Gotta love those christbots, huh?  There was someone where I used to work who would help herself to anything in the office fridge because "as a christian, god put everything on earth for her" which included our lunches.  And just like most true christians, she didn't bother to feed the hungry (her fellow employees) either.

 

Finally most of us conspired to bring in one nasty container of spoiled food we'd been keeping in our home refrigerators and brought it in to work on a specific day.   We could barely contain our excitement all morning waiting for lunch ....       

[MOHO]

I think I'll pre-program the remote so that all buttons goto porn channels - then make usre Survailance sees the culprit on tape. Said tape will go straight to all the xanity churches in town.

 

Tee hee. 

[rjn]

^^Gotta love those christbots, huh?  There was someone where I used to work who would help herself to anything in the office fridge because "as a christian, god put everything on earth for her" which included our lunches.  And just like most true christians, she didn't bother to feed the hungry (her fellow employees) either.

 

Finally most of us conspired to bring in one nasty container of spoiled food we'd been keeping in our home refrigerators and brought it in to work on a specific day.   We could barely contain our excitement all morning waiting for lunch ....       

 

I'd love to hear part 2.