Why Do Born-Again Christians Seem To Always Come From A Place Of Seeking Escape From Pain, Rather Than Reasoning?

[Lyra]

Hi everyone,

 

Out of everyone I know, and out of all the research on "testimonies" I've done online, there seem to be two general types of Christians: 

 

- Those who believe because they were taught it from infancy. Some of these people truly believe it, while others seem to be more on a clinging defensive due to wanting to be able to trust in what their community/family is based around. Others are paranoid and constantly suffering from a fear of hell. But either way, they are Christians because they were taught and raised to be so, and that's it.

- Those who became a Christian (or came back to it) because they were "born again" and had a "personal epiphany that Christianity is true."

 

In every case I've personally heard of, the people in category 2 come to have their revelation because of some kind of trauma that created a need to believe or a need to escape from reality. Not because they're mentally healthy and well socially supported, but came to a genuine conclusion through logic. I'm not talking about the people who see evidence for some type of deity/designer in general - I mean the people who truly believe that Jesus is the only way, truth and life in order to avoid Hell.

 

Normally people who go from non-religious to Bible Thumper, and make this choice freely without others' brainwashing, had catalysts such as:

 

- Being abused, and needing to think that God will deliver them and/or is always there to invisibly comfort them

- Having a loved one die and needing to believe they're in heaven now

- Having a near death experience that they perceived as a miracle

- Being friendless in a new city, loss of a social group or partner, being bullied, etc. that causes someone to feel alone and turn to religion

- Having problems with instability, bad romance choices, addictions, law-breaking, etc. and thinking christianity is the only way to find stability 

- Chronic illness or disability that limits quality/length of life, and needing religion as hope

- The feeling of "having no life" - i.e. socially inept with no friends, stuck in a bad marriage, working a dead-end job, living in a shitty place and seeing no way out, rotting in prison, etc. and needing to believe that something better will be on the other side after death

- Etc.

 

In all of these cases, there's some kind of trauma or suffering that's causing the person to get into a "desperate mode," like they're drowning in an icy sea and desperately seeking a life raft to grab onto, and Christianity becomes that raft. In many cases, I don't begrudge people for needing that raft. I hate religion for the way people have used it to oppress, control and abuse, but if an elderly cancer patient needs to believe they'll go to heaven, I won't try to take that from them. 

 

But doesn't this harm the credibility of Christianity? Why is it that we never hear of people who are raised by emotionally-healthy parents, never had major trauma or suffering in life, have a decent IQ, have positive friendships and strong social support, secure jobs and health, etc. who truly study the evidence while in a good place in life and decide to believe in Christianity? (Not "a god in general" mind you, but Christianity itself as the sole answer for life)

 

It's like a child with a security blanket, or an adult who still needs to cling to an imaginary friend. In churches, testimonies are always filled with stories about "My life was so horrible and I was so lost and in pain....but then I found Jesus..." and it's some emotional appeal story that tugs at the heartstrings while sappy music plays.

 

I'm an ENFJ on the Myers Briggs scale, so I can be pretty emotion-oriented myself. But churches never appeal to reason. Born-Again Christianity is always a promise to save people from their pain, and people believe in it because they're looking for a safe cave to hide in so they can escape from reality. 

 

 

 

Edit to add: This also fits with how the Bible claims that "the meek will inherit," Jesus comes to "the least of these," etc. But, again, doesn't this also harm the credibility of the claims? All people have equal value as human beings, of course - but aren't those who are emotionally vulnerable, less intelligent, wounded by trauma, etc going to be less discerning than those who are educated, secure (both financially and socially), smart, emotionally healthy and have their wits about them? 

[Geezer]

If Xianity is understood in the context of a cult it is easier to understand why they do the things they do & why they think like they do & also why they fear so many things

[Lyra]

I understand it as a cult, and probably so do most ex-Christians. But Christians never seem to notice how their converts are always either below-average intelligence, riddled with dysfunction, or suffering with an extremely hopeless-seeming place in life. And, as you and I know, such people are the ones who are vulnerable to being drawn into cults.

 

 

To help those people, the solution should be focused on getting  them healthy social support and improvement for their situation so they can be happy and well-adjusted in the real world. Not feeding them imaginary lies. 

[L.B.]

Lyra, you forgot one sub-group of Xtian converts: the upwardly-mobile Amway-type successful suburbanites... they make up probably 70% of the church my wife attends. Less so at the other two campuses, although the "core team" that started each campus has always been white, suburban, very well-employed and (perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not) generally attractive.

 

They may fall into some of your original categories - indeed, most of the folks I have met there have been "my life was empty/meaningless/devoid of real vision" types until they "met" Jeebus - but these people stay and are recruited into leadership, etc precisely because they make AmeriChrist look so attractive.

 

You mentioned one group:

 

"Having problems with instability, bad romance choices, addictions, law-breaking, etc. and thinking christianity is the only way to find stability "

 

I've known TONS of them - and then there are the ones who have these problems and aren't looking for stability in church; they look to become SuperConvert and impress people with their zeal - all the while taking advantage of the people around them, manipulating relationships so that they look like a winner when in fact they are anything but, and they know it.