Just For Laughs ...noah In New Jersey

[bornagainathiest]

Time for some light relief folks, courtesy of a permanent 'feature' over at Christianforums.com.  The one and only AV1611VET.

 

(Warning!  This guy is serious.  Deadly s-e-r-i-o-u-s.  He actually means what he writes.)

 

http://www.christianforums.com/threads/noah-in-new-jersey.7960214/page-5

 

doubtingmerle said: ↑

... so Noah could have walked across to New Jersey and used the pine barrens.

No.

Noah LIVED in New Jersey -- for hundreds of years.

God told Adam to replenish the earth, and by the time Noah showed up ... well ... he was born and raised in [what is now] New Jersey.

He died in Mesopotamia though.

Say someone lived in Boston, and over hundreds of years their offspring lived in Los Angeles.

Then God visits one of them in LA and tells him to build an ark.

After a great flood, the LA resident finds himself in the mountains on the east coast.

Years later, God pulls the east and west coasts apart and a great ocean separates the two halves by thousands more miles.

What used to be a 3000 mile trip from Boston to LA, is now a 6000 mile trip, including crossing an ocean.

 

AV1611VET, Yesterday at 1:00 PM

#81

 

 

 

[bornagainathiest]

1. pgp_protector said: 

   ↑

   Because you stated it was a TARDIS using New Jersey Pine, and that Noah couldn't build it using New Jersey pine

   AV1611VET replied...

   Noah built the Ark, God made it into a TARDIS box.

    

   Meaning its inside was larger than its outside.

    

   Noah did his part, and God did the rest; including bringing the animals to and from the Ark.

    

   AV1611VET, Today at 11:04 AM

   #206

    
2.  

[bornagainathiest]

Goonie said: 

↑

Ah, yep Noahs from New Jersey, and pre-flood everyone spoke Jacobean English

.

AV1611VET replied...

Pre Babel, to be exact.

 

AV1611VET, Today at 12:48 PM

#247

 

[bornagainathiest]

1. mmksparbud said: 

   ↑

   Are you kidding???---Where did you get that???

   Want a better one? He (AV1611VET) also says the God moved the flood waters to Neptune.

    

   RickG, Today at 3:06 PM

   #258

    

2.  

[Lyra]

.....There's no way this isn't satire.

It has to be.

Right?

[bornagainathiest]

.....There's no way this isn't satire.

It has to be.

Right?

 

No Lyra.

 

Please check out the link I posted in the opening post. 

 

I wholeheartedly wish this was satire.

 

But sadly, over-zealous devotion to the Bible has melted this person's brain.

 

[Lyra]

That's the most stupid and insane thing I've ever heard anyone believing.

 

Here's the thing. I could understand uneducated people or people with low IQs falling for this kind of stuff. But I know people who are geniuses, with IQs of like 130 and beyond, who believe in this kind of stuff (Noah's Ark, Tower of Babel) as fact. As for me, my own IQ is like 108, basically average, and I can tell it's bullshit.

 

How? How can someone be a top-level scientist or doctor or PHD and still believe in literal talking snakes and a god who needs blood sacrifice to save humans from itself? WTF?

[rjn]

Lyra: intelligence and knowledge is not a vaccine against delusions.

[Guest Furball]

His profile tag under his picture say's 'science can take a hike.' That pretty much tells you right there how far gone he is from reality. This is what happens when one gives themselves completely over to this insane garbage. The further one goes into christianity, the farther away from reality they get.

 

It's really sad to see people in a psychological state like this. 

[Lyra]

"Science can take a hike."

Wow.

 

Are you sure he isn't a troll, at this point? Like maybe a 15-year-old atheist on too many Red Bulls who just wants to make Christianity look bad and get some lulz in the process? 

[Blood]

It's like the Bible is the most hallucinogenic drug that some people can take. 

[older]

...

 

How? How can someone be a top-level scientist or doctor or PHD and still believe in literal talking snakes and a god who needs blood sacrifice to save humans from itself? WTF?

 

Because they are afraid of dying.

[Lyra]

Then they should focus on living to the fullest, as the antidote. 

(Living, as in, in reality.)

[bornagainathiest]

Lyra,

 

Sorry, but no... AV1611VET is for real. 

He's no troll.  If you check out his profile, his Gender, Marital Status and Faith were entered by him.  They could be false.  But the other two headings he can't fake.  Messages is an automatic function of the Christianforums site.  He has no power to input anything there.  It simply records the raw number of posts he's made.  3,474,969...! 

 

Likes Received can't be faked by him either.  

It automatically records the number of times his posts have been 'Liked' by other members of that site.  So, no matter how insane we think he is, somebody's disagreed with us and agreed with him...29,431 times!

 

 But don't be so surprised.

Things are far, far worse than you might imagine, Lyra.  For example, here are a few, selected gems from that site.

 

gradyll

 

"Yes, I believe that the Sun goes round the Earth."

 

Doveman

 

"The Moon remains where it is, placed in the firmament by God." 

 

Explanation by BAA. 

Doveman believes the Moon isn't 2,160 miles across and 245,000 miles away, orbiting the Earth.  He believes the Bible says the Earth is flat and the Sun and Moon are less than 30 miles across, circling several miles overhead, underneath a crystalline vault (the firmament) that separates the upper air from heaven.

 

SkyWriting

 

(In response to a comment by another member of Christianforums about being factually correct.)

 

"No thank you.  I'll stick to my established method."

 

Explanation by BAA.

SkyWriting places the authority and reliability of the Bible above that of testable and accredited facts and the evidence of his own senses.  His established method is to believe the Bible and disbelieve anything else.  Therefore, if his posts are factually incorrect, but Biblically correct, then that's ok.

 

But the madness isn't just limited to Christianforums, Lyra.

 

Troy Brooks, the webmaster of Biblocality.com (please Google it) believes that the New Jerusalem (God's holy city, described in the book of Revelation) will be located on the planet Mars.  On the summit of the extinct volcano Olympus Mons, to be exact.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympus_Mons

 

His (un)reasoning?

The Sun will become hotter and hotter over the next few billion years, eventually making Earth uninhabitable.  Earth's oceans will heat up, evaporate and then the water vapor will escape into space, leaving Earth a waterless wasteland.  In his mind the key verse that unlocks this divine mystery is Revelation 21 : 1.

 

"Then I saw 'a new heaven and a new earth', for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea."

.

.

.

Sometimes, in the face of such insanity, all we can do is laugh.

 

 

Thanks,

 

BAA.

[Lyra]

HOLY SHIT!!!!

[rjn]

Is it even mathematically possible for one user to post THREE AND A HALF MILLION posts in just a few years?

 

I mean, Sweden's (and Scandinavia's and perhaps even Europe's) largest discussion forum, Flashback, has a total post count of 50 Million, and they have hundreds of thousands of members and millions of unique visitors each week, and they've been around for a decade and a half at the very least.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

That's the most stupid and insane thing I've ever heard anyone believing.

 

Here's the thing. I could understand uneducated people or people with low IQs falling for this kind of stuff. But I know people who are geniuses, with IQs of like 130 and beyond, who believe in this kind of stuff (Noah's Ark, Tower of Babel) as fact. As for me, my own IQ is like 108, basically average, and I can tell it's bullshit.

 

How? How can someone be a top-level scientist or doctor or PHD and still believe in literal talking snakes and a god who needs blood sacrifice to save humans from itself? WTF?

I can only speak from my experience in the bio-medical/pharmaceutical industry; but I have met plenty of scientists who believe in religions, including Phds.  It really boils down to cognitive dissonance and compartmentalizing.  Have yourself a good long conversation with End3, one of our resident biblical apologists.  He's a scientist as well, so long as he's at work.

[Blood]

Yep. I've had discussions with Chemistry majors, doctors, et al. Same experience. They take the scientific method and just add in superfluous "god" elements. Which they would never do with anything else. 

 

Look at Ben Carson. 

[Geezer]

That's the most stupid and insane thing I've ever heard anyone believing.

 

Here's the thing. I could understand uneducated people or people with low IQs falling for this kind of stuff. But I know people who are geniuses, with IQs of like 130 and beyond, who believe in this kind of stuff (Noah's Ark, Tower of Babel) as fact. As for me, my own IQ is like 108, basically average, and I can tell it's bullshit.

 

How? How can someone be a top-level scientist or doctor or PHD and still believe in literal talking snakes and a god who needs blood sacrifice to save humans from itself? WTF?

It's very common really. When I was a Xian there were a number of lawyers, medical doctors, PHD's & engineers in our congregation. Oh yeah, and the President/CEO of one of the largest banks in the state.

 

The ability to retain information & the ability to critically analyze information is not the same thing. I know a microbiologist at St. Jude's Research Hospital that is a born again Xian fundy. That kind of thing is common, at least here in the Deep Sourh.