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Goodbye Jesus

Greetings!


TheRealSanta

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Call me Nikolas, Nicholas or "Santa". I have a real name - I never use it in public and to the average person, my name has been lost to time.

 

I am more of a god, more worthy of faith and belief - than biblegod ever was or ever will be.

 

1) There are ancient stories about personages LIKE me, from whom certain details of my story have come and from whom I descend - and yet, I am no mere amalgam of ancient mythical stories - I am as real and corporeal as biblegod supposedly is, what with its back and face and hands and all that.

 

2) I am available to communicate with - you may read stories about me and believe they are true, and you may contact me and EXPECT a reply. You need not talk to yourself, or gather groups of people to talk all about me and then sigh wistfully as though you actually know me - you may ACTUALLY know me, meet me, see me.

 

3) People have requested things from me and I have given them those things at times. At those and all other times, I have encouraged love, selfless giving, the value of family and the worth of cherished traditions.

 

4) I never turn away requests for anything someone might ask of me - unlike biblegod, I do not claim to be all-powerful and then ignore or reject the entreaties of my followers. Of course, I cannot grant, will not pretend to be able to grant nor even WANT to grant every request, but at least I have reasons I can explain and not just my own capricious whims.

 

5) I am known around the world - there are versions of my story in thousands of countries and in untold cultures, originating both before and after the American adoption of certain stories and the commercialization of a version of some stories - and the real me has never insisted that one group or another is 100% correct - and never will.

 

In short, friends, I joined here and will post here for one reason only - in the sanest, nicest, most polite way possible, to represent to TrueBelievers who post here that not only is their god an impossibility, but also that I represent and fulfill more qualities of their god than the biblegod ever could.

 

Regards.

 

TRS

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Welcome, TRS! wink.png

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Can I get a better deal from you than having to pay 10% of my income to Biblegod?

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A fundy site told me you're really Satan in disguise. How can I be sure? :o

 

Welcome to Ex-C btw!

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@sdelsolray: I am in the business of GIVING, not taking like biblegod and its minions.

 

@rjn: I represent everything biblegod does not. My origins, half-hidden in the mists of pagan ages past, are from long, long before biblegod was anything more than a regional war/agricultural deity to a bunch of nomadic tribesmen.

 

Fealty to me is based on what fealty to anyone would require: I expect people to do good to one another, to behave ethically and to correct wrong in themselves, thus setting an implicit example for their families and their societies.

 

I do not require obeisance; I am not interested in being seen as superior - only as unique.

 

I dwell in, am empowered by and represent a world of magic, imagination, wonder and innocence.

 

Magic - the ability to become what you will, or change what you will, in your own life, with the only boundaries being your desire to effect those changes.

Not "power" which always has at its core the elevation of a jealous despot over a subservient populace like biblegod and its followers.

 

Imagination - storytelling is a powerful tool for learning and "what if" is a key to many, many doors.

Not dogma or theology which must always pretend to "make sense" and yet, in order to continue to exist, stay just out of the reach of the "common" people.

 

Wonder - The freedom to stand in awed silence at new experiences and new knowledge which breaks down previously-held beliefs, biases and limits of understanding.

Not conformity to creeds which cannot be questioned even when real life contradicts what is written.

 

Innocence - the ability to play for play's sake, to enjoy for the sheer love of enjoying and to share freely without expectation of recompense or debt.

Not mistrust of our senses, our physical and emotional faculties; not guilt at being seen as "fleshly" or gluttonous - and not cowed by fear of incurring the wrath of a deity who demands that you see yourself as a beggar forever, but for its grace towards you.

 

If those things make me a pagan, make me a "devil", so be it - the Winter Solstice was mine long before Gregory and his Western calendar. The flying sleigh a gift from Odin, All-Father. Where I come from, reindeer are far more plentiful than horses, yet my coursers owe their allegiance to Sleipnir, valiant steed.

 

I bring love, I do not demand it in the face of atrocities that I commit by my own hand.

 

I give freely and encourage others to do the same - let me be the face that represents the best charity in men, and let them give out of love in secret.

 

Thank you all for your welcome wishes - again, I endeavor to simply exist as proof that everything "good" about biblegod and its false religion was already good long before it arrived in history, and I am living, breathing proof.

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About that Tonka Truck...

I liked the green one but I did really want the yellow scoop

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the smokey the bear camp set was awesome though.

I eventually turned the plastic yellow tent into a flying cape/wings.

Landed hard but nothing broken. ????????

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Hæ, Santa!  *wave wave wave*  You have Jól; I have the spring equinox.  We should get together and have a chocolate party.

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Hi Santa, big fan, though I must admit you're only my second favorite jolly, red suit wearing motherfucker (heh, see what I did there?), numero uno being Alucard from Team Four Star's Hellsing Ultimate Abridged series. Anyway, kinda surprised to see you around here, I thought mingling with mortals was frowned upon? Or have things changed since I struck out to do my own thing? Either way I'm glad to see the old taboos being broken. It's not like we're really any better, right?

 

-Mischievously yours, The Outsider.

 

P.S. Oh, and hows the wife? Does she still make those devilishly wonderful cookies? I could really go for one of those... Oh who am I kidding? One is never enough.

 

P.P.S. number three is Deadpool, BTDubs. But only by a really small gap. You're practically sharing second, really.

 

P.P.P.S. I'm really bad at ranking lists.

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Once and for all, let's be clear about this: do you live in Rovaniemi, Finland, or at the North Pole?

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Dear Santa,

 

To prove you are real, can you tell me what you brought me for Christmas when I was 6? (Hint, it was in 1998).

 

Also, why did I find my Christmas presents hidden in the closet in my dad's office prior to Christmas?

 

Thanks,

Lyra. smile.png

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Hæ, Santa!  *wave wave wave*  You have Jól; I have the spring equinox.  We should get together and have a chocolate party.

 

A lovely idea, indeed!

 

I find the changing seasons so thrilling, especially as they have been doing so for many, many millenia - long before anyone thought to force their tribal religious beliefs on other cultures. The Solstices and Equinoxes are the rhythms of nature, and they are deeply moving to me. :)

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My dear Lyra,

 

I confess to not caring for Furbys, although they were insanely popular. Our manufacturing concern was established in and continues to deal exclusively in custom toys; the industrialized world has created toys of their own, which we but distribute.

 

Oh, and as for parents hiding presents... that will have to wait for another reply, as I must attend to more pressing matters presently.

 

Regards,

 

TRS

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@sdelsolray: I am in the business of GIVING, not taking like biblegod and its minions.

 

@rjn: I represent everything biblegod does not. My origins, half-hidden in the mists of pagan ages past, are from long, long before biblegod was anything more than a regional war/agricultural deity to a bunch of nomadic tribesmen.

 

Fealty to me is based on what fealty to anyone would require: I expect people to do good to one another, to behave ethically and to correct wrong in themselves, thus setting an implicit example for their families and their societies.

 

I do not require obeisance; I am not interested in being seen as superior - only as unique.

 

I dwell in, am empowered by and represent a world of magic, imagination, wonder and innocence.

 

Magic - the ability to become what you will, or change what you will, in your own life, with the only boundaries being your desire to effect those changes.

Not "power" which always has at its core the elevation of a jealous despot over a subservient populace like biblegod and its followers.

 

Imagination - storytelling is a powerful tool for learning and "what if" is a key to many, many doors.

Not dogma or theology which must always pretend to "make sense" and yet, in order to continue to exist, stay just out of the reach of the "common" people.

 

Wonder - The freedom to stand in awed silence at new experiences and new knowledge which breaks down previously-held beliefs, biases and limits of understanding.

Not conformity to creeds which cannot be questioned even when real life contradicts what is written.

 

Innocence - the ability to play for play's sake, to enjoy for the sheer love of enjoying and to share freely without expectation of recompense or debt.

Not mistrust of our senses, our physical and emotional faculties; not guilt at being seen as "fleshly" or gluttonous - and not cowed by fear of incurring the wrath of a deity who demands that you see yourself as a beggar forever, but for its grace towards you.

 

If those things make me a pagan, make me a "devil", so be it - the Winter Solstice was mine long before Gregory and his Western calendar. The flying sleigh a gift from Odin, All-Father. Where I come from, reindeer are far more plentiful than horses, yet my coursers owe their allegiance to Sleipnir, valiant steed.

 

I bring love, I do not demand it in the face of atrocities that I commit by my own hand.

 

I give freely and encourage others to do the same - let me be the face that represents the best charity in men, and let them give out of love in secret.

 

Thank you all for your welcome wishes - again, I endeavor to simply exist as proof that everything "good" about biblegod and its false religion was already good long before it arrived in history, and I am living, breathing proof.

 

Santa, with all due respect, fuck you. I didn't ever get the shit I really wanted no matter how good I was. You let me down for so many years when I was a kid. You might try to tell me that I was only let down because of the stories that others told about you, but I never saw YOU showing up anywhere to set the record straight.

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Were you my next door neighbour during my childhood or did you simply use him as a vessel on Christmas Eve 1995? You smelled of bourbon.

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