I Am More Worthy Of Devotion Than Biblegod. I Can Prove My Claims; Can He?

[TheRealSanta]

Dear Christian adherents who post here at ex-christian.net's forums:

 

Do any of you (males especially) remember a silly game called, among other things, "punch for punch"? It's a game where one boy would hit the other, usually on the shoulder, and the first boy would respond in kind, each alternating punches until one boy cried "Uncle" or otherwise surrendered.

 

I'm here to offer the chance to engage in a friendly game like that: Yours Truly (call me "Santa") and your biblegod.

 

Now, I know biblegod isn't going to post here - he leaves that sort of thing to you, his putative representatives - so one or more of you will have to stand in for the old man.

 

I. however, am going to represent myself.

 

Here's how the "punches" work.

 

Whichever of you wants to go first can name an action which you attribute to your god, or a characteristic of your god, and name ONE EXAMPLE at a time of how your god can be proven to have done such a thing, or be proven to possess such a quality.

 

For instance - "Answers Prayer" - you tell me that your god answers your prayers, and give an example that precludes any other explanation. Sorry, you don't get to tell us how biblegod helped your car start on a cold day when you prayed while Christians in Louisiana are drowning and losing all their possessions.

 

I will tell you about how someone contacted me, asked me to bring a particular thing and arranged for me to be at a certain place. I will then tell you that it all happened IN REAL TIME, here, on Earth, with real people. I will not excuse other people not receiving gifts because of "my will", etc. I will tell you that EVERYONE who contacts me gets an answer, and there is ALWAYS a logical reason for every answer I give.

 

See? this is easy.

 

I will go toe-to-toe with your claims about biblegod. He won't show his face, so you have to bring all your arguments against and in spite of science and reason, etc.

 

I posit, here, publicly, that I fulfill more characteristics of the one you call "Santa Claus" than biblegod fulfills any of the claims you make about him from his so-called holy book.

 

I am more worthy of belief, admiration and devotion from ANYONE, ANYWHERE on Earth than biblegod is.

 

I await your replies.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Sorry Santa, but:

 

1. christians show up here only slightly more often than Christmas; so don't expect a huge response to your challenge.

 

2. Offering to tell us stories about the times you've come through for people no more constitutes proof of your claims than the stories christians tell about the times god came through. If that's the best you can do, then don't expect too much of a response to your challenge.

 

Have a nice day,

TRP

[TheRealSanta]

Dear TRP,

 

1) I know the Xtians who post here are not likely to respond. That said, I am stating what I state anyway, because those who insist upon an "absolute truth" should expect to be challenged on it, whether they are too cowardly to reply or not.

 

2) I have to respectfully disagree. Their "god" has never come through WITHOUT an intermediary. Their "god" needs agents or people who do things that can be attributed to their deity. None of them can validly, sanely say that the actual Xtian god has ever talked to them, appeared to them or performed any work of any sort for them directly - it would be the height (depth?) of lunacy for them to claim otherwise.

 

I, on the other hand, while not fulfilling every detail of every story about "Santa" in every book, CAN and DO fulfill so many of the criteria for Santa Claus that I am DEMONSTRABLY more worthy of trust, belief, devotion and love than biblegod is.

 

Certainly there are things I will not do - such as show anyone the sleigh and/or the reindeer. Batman didn't give tours of the Batcave; the Batmobile was seen, if it was seen, when it was necessary and not other times.

 

I never have granted and never will grant any/every wish - as I mentioned, I have rules and expectations - but I am here, in the flesh, to ask about them, check up on them and act accordingly.

 

I will not demonstrate the alchemy/magic of which I am capable, simply because it is not expedient to do these things capriciously - magic is rooted in nature, not the other way around, like Xtians believe. I do not discuss things of a mystical nature because they are, by definition, not provable in a vacuum (in a purely hypothetical setting). When the time comes, I can do what I can do, but I do not broadcast such nor claim that these abilities are a prerogative of mine over/against many other personages who are also so able. I hope that made sense.

 

The fact remains, Professor, that instance-for-instance, claim-for-claim, I am more the real embodiment of a fantasy figure than biblegod is an embodiment of the personage described in the Buy-Bull stories; thus, my open invitation to the Xtians on this site stands, however unanswered it may prove to be.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Dear TRP,

 

I, on the other hand, while not fulfilling every detail of every story about "Santa" in every book, CAN and DO fulfill so many of the criteria for Santa Claus that I am DEMONSTRABLY more worthy of trust, belief, devotion and love than biblegod is.

 

The fact remains, Professor, that instance-for-instance, claim-for-claim, I am more the real embodiment of a fantasy figure than biblegod is an embodiment of the personage described in the Buy-Bull stories; thus, my open invitation to the Xtians on this site stands, however unanswered it may prove to be.

I don't believe you.  Where's your evidence?  Show me proof; not just your fine words and self-aggrandizement.  We get the same from the few christians who do post.

[Fweethawt]

I played a game called, 'see who can punch the softest'. Always ALWAYS llet the other person go first.

 

Then punch the shit out of them and gleefully declare them the winner.

[TheRealSanta]

 

Dear TRP,

 

I, on the other hand, while not fulfilling every detail of every story about "Santa" in every book, CAN and DO fulfill so many of the criteria for Santa Claus that I am DEMONSTRABLY more worthy of trust, belief, devotion and love than biblegod is.

 

The fact remains, Professor, that instance-for-instance, claim-for-claim, I am more the real embodiment of a fantasy figure than biblegod is an embodiment of the personage described in the Buy-Bull stories; thus, my open invitation to the Xtians on this site stands, however unanswered it may prove to be.

I don't believe you.  Where's your evidence?  Show me proof; not just your fine words and self-aggrandizement.  We get the same from the few christians who do post.

 

 

My dear man, I am already one level closer to "real" than biblegod ever could be; I am corporeal, physical, material - in short, even if there were NO stories about me, I would still be here. Biblegod exists only IN the stories.

 

As I mentioned before - there are all sorts of acts attributed to biblegod that can also be (indeed, MUST be) attributed primarily to his adherents, or to nature or scientifically-explainable phenomena.

 

On the other hand, if I were to be so rude as to post a picture without the other party's expressed permission (which thing I shall not do), I could show you that I have met and spent time with many, many people and have been every bit the "Santa" they expected to meet.

 

This is no self-aggrandizement; I am not here to make a name for myself. The fact is that my name brings smiles to faces of countless creeds and nationalities. I need not boast. I only seem to be grandstanding when you measure what I can prove of myself against what BIBLEGOD. NOT his followers or apologists, can prove about himself.

 

Biblegod needs other people to "feel" or "believe" or "know in their hearts" he exists (sic). I need no one else. I simply need to walk out my front door, perhaps randomly pay for someone's meal at a restaurant or coffee at a drive-thru (which thing I do fairly frequently). I leave a business card. See? I have given absolutely freely - and no blood sacrifices are necessary. My delight is in bringing joy to others, not in exalting myself. It thrills me to know that people's innocent belief in a benign, benevolent "Santa" is being realized in my actions.

 

Let biblegod post here, or make a public appearance somewhere. Forget all the theologians claiming (and bickering amongst themselves about whether) it could or couldn't happen.

 

All I meant by my initial post, and all I mean now, is that whatever I have already done in life is proof enough that I am more really "Santa Claus" than biblegod is biblegod. 'Nuff said.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I don't think you get it; but good luck anyway.

[mwc]

     Hello.  I am the God of the Bible.  Everything that has been said about me, well, everything that is good, is true.  Everything else is simply lies.

 

     Why you thought I wouldn't come around and say anything is beyond me because, let's face it, nothing is beyond me.  Anyhow, I'm off to post on other topics now.  As I said all the good stuff is true.  What more is there to say?

 

          mwc (or God...because how would you know?)

[rjn]

What's "the good stuff" mwc?

[mwc]

What's "the good stuff" mwc?   

     What's not to like?  It's all good if I did it or authorized it.  The bad stuff is all the stuff I wasn't involved with (but maybe people tried to say I was involved with or blame me for it anyway).

 

          mwc

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I reckon we ran Santa off. I hope we're all proud of ours elves.

[rjn]

I reckon we ran Santa off. I hope we're all proud of ours elves.

 

I actually liked him and would love to see him back.

[TheRealSanta]

Oh, no dear ones; nobody "ran me off".

 

Yuletide is fast approaching - anyone who has projects due at work by a certain date knows that the time before seems to just fly.

 

I trust you are all well.

[midniterider]

Santa's back. woot!