Youtube User Darryl Sloan Responds To My De-Conversion Story

[SkepticalDaniel]

I've recently shared the first two parts of my de-conversion story on my Facebook. Both parts have received likes, but there was one like in particular that really got my attention. It was from a friend, Darryl Sloan, an Irish YouTuber (check out his channel: https://m.youtube.com/#/user/darrylsloan) and freethinker and director of the Movie Zombie Genocide which got my attention. He shared part 2 of the post, and commented on it with this message:

 

"I relate so much to this testimony of deconversion from Christianity. Christians don't want to hear this, but the reason people deconvert is not backsliding or rebellion or love of sin. Those are just convenient stereotypes that allow Christians to villainise those who walk away. There are many reasons why people leave Christianity. Sometimes it happens because the psychological torture can no longer be endured.

 

The average "lukewarm" Christian will not understand this because they've never known what it is to strive for holiness, to fight the desires of the flesh, to undergo endless cycles of failure and repentence, to weep with sorrow before a frowning God and cry with joy as he forgives you, again and again. This is the great con of being set at war with oneself, which is the heart of Christianity.

 

Thank you for sharing this, Daniel. You describe a dark place that I know intimately, and I live with scars from it that will never heal. I wouldn't wish it upon anybody."

 

His message really touched me, and I'm not kidding when I say that I was on the verge of crying.

[rjn]

The link you provided was broken, here's a fixed one: https://www.youtube.com/user/darrylsloan

 

Thanks for the story SD, will check this guy out.
 

[Guest]

Thanks for sharing, Daniel! It's so nice and freeing to be validated in this way. I'm glad you had this experience!

[ax345]

This is stated perfectly:

 

"The average "lukewarm" Christian will not understand this because they've never known what it is to strive for holiness, to fight the desires of the flesh, to undergo endless cycles of failure and repentence, to weep with sorrow before a frowning God and cry with joy as he forgives you, again and again. This is the great con of being set at war with oneself, which is the heart of Christianity."

[L.B.]

You know, it occurs to me that as a teen and young adult, even when I was rebelling against every authority I could, during those times when I wasn't actively in trouble for anything (meaning I hadn't got caught yet), nobody assumed that I believed the wrong things about god.

 

As long as I wasn't acting in some way that a christard would call "sinful", they could just assume that I was a believer (raised in a fundy home, btw).

 

If I said or did anything "wrong", however, the remedy they prescribed was always some variation on "think of how your life is an offense to god; think of how you're disobeying him. Think of how if you don't change your ways, you'll go to hell. You need to REALLY get right with the lord now."

 

Every aspect of what christ-inanity teaches is designed to modify and control behaviors, keeping the believer in a constant state of flux between what they feel inside and what they "know" to be "right".

 

It's the confrontation/argument/breakdown/start-over dynamic that is at the heart of every single dysfunctional relationship ever.

 

"I don't like what you do. Do it again and you get the back of my hand again."

"I'm so, so sorry - don't hit me anymore!"

"I hate to have to do it, but you make me so mad."

"I'll do better now, I promise."

"There, there; I forgive you. Now wipe your eyes and go clean up the broken dishes."

 

As long as the abuser can keep their victim unsure as to what "perfect" behavior really entails, or keep them worried that their behavior just wasn't consistently good enough, they have total control.