L.B. Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 No, there's nothing new here; I was just rehearsing this in my head the other day. THE BUY-BULL: CONDENSED VERSION 1The so-called god of the universe, not just one of many, but the SUPREME deity, decided that he (because he's got a gender) would create people. 2He then told the people not to do something - but he made that 'something' not only possible to do, but put it right in the center of their world. 3He then allowed another of his creations to lie to the people and did nothing to intervene. These were "perfect" people, without sin, and so totally pleasing to the god, but he did not love them enough to stop the Talking Snake from lying to them. 4When the people ate the magic fruit after they listened to the Talking Snake, the god came looking for the people - asking where they were, and then asking if they had done what he had told them not to do. He then got mad at the Talking Snake because apparently the Talking Snake was able to lie to the people totally without the god knowing it was going on. 5Anyway, the god threw the people out of their perfect world that he allowed them to ruin by providing for them totally unfettered access to the ONE thing that would fuck everything up.6The people went and fucked and had kids, and then the kids fucked each other and had kids, and their kids fucked each other, and so on and so on. 7Well, as you can imagine, it didn't take much longer for the god to realize that people were doing things they shouldn't - again, no intervention from the god, just "righteous anger". 8He decided that eight people out of all the incestuous bastards on the planet were good enough to save. The rest, he killed in a global flood, except for all the animals that the eight people saved. Plants were totally fucked; they all got destroyed. 9Another relatively short time later (after all, the god is an eternal god, isn't he?), the god decided that a tiny percentage of the new crop of incestuous bastards were now his "special, chosen people" (because after the great flood, the eight remaining people didn't pass down the TRUTH of the god to their offspring and subsequent generations. The god allowed the future generations of incestuous bastards to invent all kinds of religions.10Anyway, the special chosen people fucked up again - and, again, all because the god told them not to do things that were totally normal for everyone else. 11The god decided that he would make a new deal with the special people - he would fill them with his own spirit, causing them to be supercharged in their ability to behave exactly like the god wanted them to behave. 12That didn't work, either - the special people's religion started to fragment and divide, sometimes over stupid shit. No, even stupider than the shit they already did. 13Finally, the god decided that he himself would become a man who was also the god, and there would be the spirit who is also the god and also the man and the man is also filled with the spirit and also prayed to the god like a god and was led by the spirit but was also in charge of the spirit and taught people to pray to the god and then said they could see the god and have the spirit if they listened to the man, who was also the god and the spirit and filled with himself and themselves and so on. 14The man who was (oh, fuck it) - the man got killed because he pissed off the wrong divided, exclusivist sect of the religion of the special people - at least, the version of the religion that existed after the special people fucked up over and over and kept losing their holy books and forgetting what animals to burn for the god to smell. 15The man got undead - how, exactly, we're not sure, because he was the man and the god and - why the fuck do I even bother? The man wasn't/isn't dead. He's now in charge of the spirit, which he gives to a few dozen or more (or less) of his friends who believe his shit about the god and the Snake and the special people and all that. 16These people were now in charge of telling the world about the truth of the god and the Snake and the flood and all that stuff. 17They didn't go back and fix the mistake of the first two people - they didn't even go and fix the religion of the special people, or the fucked-up versions of the religion of the divided-up special people. 18No, the new spirit-led people decided to start an entirely new religion, one that bore no resemblance to the religion of the first people or of the special people. 19That religion doesn't even exist now, because there are thousands and thousands of divided groups arguing over what the new religion of the new spirit-led people was like - and they can't agree about what the man who was god who was (grrrr!) said. Some of these new groups want to be like the special people. Some think the special people were always wrong, some think the special people were always right, except they needed the god/man guy. Some like to dress as Mithraic priests and fuck little boys in the ass. 20Yes, friends, the god above all gods has given us a Talking Snake and tens of thousands of competing, contrary organizations, many of whom consider even the existence of the other groups to be the work of the Snake himself. I've taken the time to publish this condensed version of the Buy-Bull just in case you or your friends need a reminder that this is what we're dealing with. Take out all the explanations of theology, take out all the claims to historicity, and this is the story you're left with. Unbelievable, to say the least. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 Actually, the Talking Snake told the truth. What he said would happen is exactly what happens. If you read the story without the blinders of Christian dogma, you'll find that it actually has God be the one who lied; what he said would happen isn't what happens. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 Good point about the plants. I also wonder how the hell their was so much incest and no problems as a result of the interbreeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted October 13, 2016 Author Share Posted October 13, 2016 Nobody has ever answered specifically why, even though the god confused all the languages at Babel, none of the other language groups except one ever remembered what the god required re: religion. Apparently, he not only confused their languages, he gave them amnesia as well. Yeah, the ark story doesn't include plants because the god never tried to make plants into marriage partners for the man, like he did with the animals. Yes, friends, the god asked the man if he wanted to fuck horses and cows and whatever before he decided to make a female human. Again, this god and this religion with its shitty view of women. Primitive people must have just assumed that plants would always be there, so a flood story doesn't have to take their survival into consideration. There are also civilizations that are almost as old as Ken Ham's 6,000-year-old Earth, and they have no flood story that I am aware of. The whole thing is just preposterous when we realize that even "enlightened" empires like those in Europe didn't know what was over the other side of the oceans - and that was 2000+ years after the bible people wrote their myths. It's no wonder their stories don't make any sense when you realize what else was happening in the world concurrent to the events in the OT, and even before, as I mentioned. The OT writers had no idea that the proto-Indian society existed and vice versa. Of course, the OT writers also thought that stars were balls of light hanging just a few hundred feet over their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted October 14, 2016 Moderator Share Posted October 14, 2016 Nobody has ever answered specifically why, even though the god confused all the languages at Babel, none of the other language groups except one ever remembered what the god required re: religion. Apparently, he not only confused their languages, he gave them amnesia as well. You don't understand, he revealed himself to Abraham in the very next chapter. PS, some historians think that the tower of babel was in fact the Ziggurat of the capital city of the Sumerians Yeah, the ark story doesn't include plants because the god never tried to make plants into marriage partners for the man, like he did with the animals. Yes, friends, the god asked the man if he wanted to fuck horses and cows and whatever before he decided to make a female human. Again, this god and this religion with its shitty view of women. Primitive people must have just assumed that plants would always be there, so a flood story doesn't have to take their survival into consideration. There are also civilizations that are almost as old as Ken Ham's 6,000-year-old Earth, and they have no flood story that I am aware of. The Chinese have flood stories. Not sure how old, but their civilisation goes back 5000 years. The Sumerians have the Epic of Gilgamesh, again their civilisation goes back 5000-7000 years. Egyptians... not sure about any flood story. No this DOES NOT prove Noah's flood. It proves that civilisations were affected by massive floods enough to write about them.... after all imagine something like the 2004 tsunami hitting them, or the hurricane that hit Florida a few years back. Earthquakes that near level our modern cities. These events would have happened back then as well... no wonder there are stories about them. It is thought that a massive flood did take place in Mesopotamia around 7000 years ago. (Whoops lost the quote section) "The whole thing is just preposterous when we realize that even "enlightened" empires like those in Europe didn't know what was over the other side of the oceans - and that was 2000+ years after the bible people wrote their myths. It's no wonder their stories don't make any sense when you realize what else was happening in the world concurrent to the events in the OT, and even before, as I mentioned. The OT writers had no idea that the proto-Indian society existed and vice versa. Of course, the OT writers also thought that stars were balls of light hanging just a few hundred feet over their heads." The bible talks about god making the stars as an afterthought.... the universe is 93 BILLION light years across, stars so numerous your mind can't comprehend.... all of it useless to the people of yesteryear because they had no way of seeing the universe in its gory. So much for god creating the universe for humans. It's only useful to create something for someone if they are aware and can see that something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenovaswitness Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Good point about the plants. I also wonder how the hell their was so much incest and no problems as a result of the interbreeding. My old trash pile pastor said that it was because "Adam and Eve must have been very genetically diverse," suggesting that he has never once been in the same room as a biology textbook. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Ohhh! #9: The god allowed the future generations of incestuous bastards to invent all kinds of religions. I never thought of that before! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Good point about the plants. I also wonder how the hell their was so much incest and no problems as a result of the interbreeding.My old trash pile pastor said that it was because "Adam and Eve must have been very genetically diverse," suggesting that he has never once been in the same room as a biology textbook. My old pastor said the same thing. That god somehow engineered them that way. In other words, "magic!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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