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Goodbye Jesus

Should I Join Church Just For The Fringe Benefits? (No)


Wittyusername

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I was a fundy but last week went to a 'contemporary worship' church for a 'blessing and dedication' of a new baby in the extended family. I balked at the thought of being in a church.

 

Looking at things though the eyes of a rationalist was interesting;

- I could see how the music was manipulating and encouraging certain emotional states.

- I could see how batshit crazy the 'word from the Lord' was and how it was an attention seeking person consciously or subconsciously basically reading out a horoscope that could mean anything and apply to anyone.

- I could see the people in the congregation wanted it to be true.

- I could see that the sermon was a weak bunch of platitudes tied together with cherry picked bible verses.

 

Most importantly I could see that living your life as if a magical sky wizard is going to magic things for you is damaging. It is damaging to you because you need to get up off your arse and make things happen and it is damaging to others because as a global citizen, as a neighbour, friend etc. they need you to get up off your arse and take positive action, not send useless thoughts and prayers.

 

But

 

As they talked I substituted the word universe for God and Jesus and it was quite nice.

 

The universe wants blessings for you

The universe will strengthen you

etc.

 

I liked the community

I liked singing in a group

I liked the group hypnosis as I knew it for what it was

I liked that there are house groups where you get to know people in your local area

I liked that people were making food for the family with a new baby just to help out

I liked that you had a free life coach guy as you told someone your problems

 

Apparently Unitarian church does something similar but there is nothing local.

 

I thought if I just substitute universe for God and Jesus and don't take communion, I can be back in the nice cozy bossom of churchiness. I do not feel comfortable about lying, but can just try avoid the Jesus type talk and be evasive.

 

Then I can have the good without the bad.

 

I almost convinced myself, but too bad I am a rationalist now.

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You probably could do this, you have enough appreciation for the good, but I would strongly recommend a UU church for you instead. You wouldn't have to struggle so much with replacing words, and you would probably see even more of the benefits you're talking about. I haven't been to one myself, but from what I hear they have the strongest community based congregations, and the least amount of bullshit. They're multi-cultural. You would meet more than just christians wanting everything to be true.

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Witty:

 

I can completely relate. I see you're in England. I wrote on this forum some time ago about attending a service at York Minster. The show just blew me away. The costumes, the pageantry, the beam of sunlight coming in through the stained glass windows, the boys choir, the organ echoing through the cavernous cathedral. Honestly, if I lived there I'd go once in a while just for the show. (And admission is free!)

 

(By the way, Unitarians do believe in miracles — someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a block of tofu.* )

 

*http://www.imladris.com/Sandbox/?UuJokes.html

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You might find the emotional aspect of the services enjoyable, but you don't need a Christian church to get a similar experience. I second Voice's suggestion of a UU church. There's a choir, group singing, an inspirational message, and sometimes food - I went to one that organized dinner parties for attendees, and no creepy sky-friend. Even though you like the Christian service, Jesus is inseparable from their emotional tactics, which are manipulators to draw you into believing their message. Please be wary.

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I think the community aspect is one thing that makes the church attractive.  Since people don't join bowling leagues or elk's lodges anymore (not much, anyway), the Sunday services and small group gatherings at most churches make a place to have closer relationships with people.  You can have relationships with coworkers, but there is usually a barrier of some sort because it's work-related. 

 

We've been inviting friends over for dinner at our house about once a month.  Groups of 4 to 10.  No Bible study, of course (I don't plan to lead one of those again, although I've considered leading a "life study" of some sort). It's exactly like the Bible studies we used to have, but without the Bible part.  Last time we did it, the women drifted over to the living room, us guys stayed in the dining room.  The women were sure having a lot of fun, from the sound of it.  I think that connection is a big piece of what people miss when they leave church.

 

The thing is that most of the people we've invited are connected via past or present churches, but nobody insists on having a Bible-based theme.  But we can still have some interesting life discussions. 

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My understanding of the UU "Church" is that , since they allow almost anything, you could be exposed to some pretty creapy stuff and even some unsavory (dangerous? ) people. Please correct me if anyone has had experiences to the contrary.

 

Anyway, it's nice to socialize, but attempting to replace xianity may only lead to some other doctrine to shake off again at a later point.

 

How about get-togethers of ex-Christians?

 

OH!

DUH!   rolleyes.gif

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It seems that so many are so used to relying on a church for any kind of a social life, when they leave religion they still think they need a substitute for church. Fuck churches, all of them. Join a bowling league, Habitat for Humanity, a secular service club, a hobby club, sheesh.

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My understanding of the UU "Church" is that , since they allow almost anything, you could be exposed to some pretty creapy stuff and even some unsavory (dangerous? ) people. Please correct me if anyone has had experiences to the contrary.

...

I'd say that the potential for that exists every time you step out your door. Use common sense in selecting your friends.

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