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Goodbye Jesus

On The Gradual Decline Of Ex-Chriatian.net


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When I first signed on here 5 years ago or so there were active members in the triple digits, Chat rooms full most of the time, constant updates to conversations in all of the forums.

Seems like we're down to less than a hundred active members now and the Chat room is mostly empty all of the time.

 

Diligent christians are working hard in prayer to destroy this site. Personally I'd like to see that not happen.

 

A family member became an ex-c a couple years ago and I directed her here saying she could find community. She looked, lurked, then told me this wasn't the kind of community she wanted. Too many assholes. Pissed off atheists. I was disappointed.

That is unappealing. If I were a freaked christian looking for support I wouldn't want to be around a bunch of ravenous atheists either.

 

There are probably factors in play that I'm not aware of. Why the 80% decline in traffic over the past 5 years?

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I have been fading out lately. I don't read testimonies because, despite their importance to the ones writing them, they kind of all sound the same after awhile. I can no longer get into any political threads because they just frustrate or depress me. I was never one for the theological debates because I don't have the sophisticated knowledge base of theology or knowledge of all the logical fallacies everyone else seems to have. I am happy to encourage others in exchristian life, but I'm not having an especially difficult time of it and therefore can't relate to the issues many others are experiencing. Webmdave and his obsession with pedophiles and Jamaicans just freaks me the heck out. That pretty much leaves me with rants and replies, which tends to be an online bitch fest - fun, but kind of hollow after awhile. I'm not special, so I can only assume that others who have left went through the same process I did.

 

ETA: forgot about Totally Off Topic. That one's still good!

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What's really happening is the gradual decline of the classic 95-early 2000 forum style in general in favor of modern social media.

 

Apostasy is more alive than ever, just most of the discussion has moved to reddit/facebook/twitter/etc.

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What's really happening is the gradual decline of the classic 95-early 2000 forum style in general in favor of modern social media.

 

Apostasy is more alive than ever, just most of the discussion has moved to reddit/facebook/twitter/etc.

 

Yup there's a parallel Ex-C facebook community which thrives pretty well.

 

Probably not the only reason for the site's decline I admit, but it's a major one.

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Couple of members have driven conversation into the ground for me so that there is not the enjoyment I once had. Super left and super right over-reactors.

I've lurked a bit, but until the election is over I'm basically not interested in most threads.

Also, IH seems to be the only Christian here to debate and he has absolutely no game anymore, just his passive rollover and no actual good discussion.

 

Been thinking this for a while.

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...and I don't do Facebook... *sigh*

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...and I don't do Facebook... *sigh*

 

Up till now I've refused to try Facebook. It looks like a colossal waste of time. But considering that damn near everything on line has moved in that direction I may have to try it. I just don't care to reveal much of my personal self on line. I'd rather go to subject-specific forums rather than get all the b.s. that I see on my wife's page.

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...and I don't do Facebook... *sigh*

 

Up till now I've refused to try Facebook. It looks like a colossal waste of time. But considering that damn near everything on line has moved in that direction I may have to try it. I just don't care to reveal much of my personal self on line. I'd rather go to subject-specific forums rather than get all the b.s. that I see on my wife's page.

 

 

The reason FB is popular is because you control your page and can make it anything you want it to be. You follow pages you are interested in and block those you are not. 

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For some reason I don't get anything from ex-C on facebook even though I follow it.

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It might be a patience thing.

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  • Super Moderator

I took an extended break around the end of 2014 and came back sometime in 2015. It was more for personal reasons than anything to do with this site. But I did notice a difference when I got back; and I realized that "difference" had been there before I left.

 

I guess I just take this site for what it is: just a group of people who are as fucked up as me trying to make sense out of life, the universe, and everything. I agree with some, disagree with others. Certain ones I miss when they leave; others I wish had never shown up in the first place. That's just part of having a tribe, I reckon.

 

There are forums here that I have always avoided, like Spirituality, or the Sex forum. Other forums, like TOT, I've gotten slightly less uninvolved in.

 

For me, it simply is what it is. Mainly it has entertainment value; occasionally, a chance to really help someone through some serious shit.

 

It is what we make it, though; because we are the people of this tribe.

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been here for dome years,,,,,

 

wrote and questioned a fair bit in the beginning.....

 

now mostly read anything that interests me,,,,,

 

apologetics & and whatever historical findings do not register any more interest or curiosity anymore.....

 

people come and go,,,,, thissite is just facing some dry season till something interesting comes along

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  • Super Moderator

The non-religious and atheist community has grown a lot over the past few years. There are more resources and web communities now so this is no longer the only place to go, though IMHO this is still the best community of non-believers. The mix of activity is always in flux here, so just wait and things always change.

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I rarely get involved in the theological discussions, tending more towards humor and chiming in on "what made you leave", sex, and such. A few members have been a bit caustic, but most are quite pleasant. Some only comment on the main page stories and never in the forums, maybe due to being rubbed the wrong way. Even ex-believers can be jerks, so we can't all expect to get along with everyone. If I sense that sort of harsh attitude, I disappear from that section and go look at the funny pics or try to comfort someone new who is struggling with family.

 

The Facebook group has a mix of people also, and people have left that group as well, but typically it is more because they don't feel a need anymore and have moved on with life.

 

You can still use a pseudonym on Facebook, as long as it appears to be a real name (they tend to make you change if you call yourself something obviously fake). I use a Firefox add-on called "FB Purity" that lets me filter out ads, games, and many other annoying features of Facebook. And of course, never reveal anything about yourself online that you wouldn't want made public eventually, since you don't control the software or servers that provide online services.

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IMO, there's still a need for this place. The FB ExC is just a place for people to bullshit and talk about sex (at least that's what it seems to me). But if someone just deconverted and needs to work through theological issues this is the place to be. I'm personally not that interested in discussing religion anymore, but there was a time in my life I needed to work through those issues and this place was here for me. I believe it's still helping others in the same way. 

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I visit daily. Don't always post much. I enjoy the differing perspectives that are here. Even though I disagree with some, I try to understand things from differing perspectives.

 

The regulars that post here are much like a support group for me. I have no options for one in my real life, so this one helps me out for now.

 

That being said, I do agree that the site has changed and its not as active as it was when I joined a few years ago. But I still get good stuff from time to time and I think its worth sticking around for.

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  • Moderator

I am still here most days to read but life is busy for me again. And I am happy about that. Ex-c stills serves as fantastic forum to come and deconvert. I personally don't know what I would have done if Ex-c hadn't of existed. 

 

I wasn't a Facebook member until a couple of years ago. I have joined quite a few private groups there pertaining to other interests I have and I enjoy those groups. I was never a good typist. When I used to make very long posts, they took an hour or more (and still do) but I was so confused and had no one else to talk to that I had no choice but to write so I could try to find out answers. And I have always praised you guys for helping me. Winter is easier for me because I have a lot more time.

 

People come and go here and it always seems that it goes through dry spells. People will always visit here as long as the site exists. But I also agree that there are a lot more sites (on Facebook) and all over the internet as so many people are coming out of the closet and admitting that they don't really believe in Christianity anymore...so maybe ex-c suffers a little because of that.

 

But I still love you all because of the common interest we share even though I don't write very much anymore because of the time factor. As soon as I win the lottery and can retire completely, I'll still visit most days to make sure the board is doing OK but can't participate like I used to. You'll know when we get a big winter storm here because those are the days I can sit and play as much as I like. It's the only thing I like about the winter. You get to slow down a bit!

 

Love and ((hugs)) to all the new members and old....kiss.gif

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Not an FB user.

Don't do social media at all (except this site)

I don't even have a Linked In account (haven't looked for work 10 10 years - cut'n code at the same old place)

 

So this site is it for me in terms of support for me religious apathy. That's a toughy living in the bible belt of the pacific north west.

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I think as more and more of us decovert, it will become harder and harder to find specific support communities, simply because it's not that big of a deal anymore. There's very few ex-Aztec or ex-Viking groups for this very reason. :) This isn't good news for the people leaving though, because of course it's very traumatic for them!

 

I think religion and religious indoctrination will eventually be treated as a cognitive disorder and leaving it will be treated the same way we currently would treat any other mental health issue - through counselling and targeted therapies. That has already started with the more forward thinking mental health professionals.

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  • Super Moderator

Bottom line: An online forum is what YOU make of it. If you come here just to be entertained and not contribute in any meaningful way, you will be disappointed. Step up and improve your community.

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This forum was the first place that I had ever been able to connect with fellow apostates.  I've seen good people come and go.  The same can be said for communities on social media, though those seem to evolve into their own type of community with a bit more staying power.

I'm involved in three different ex-Christian Facebook communities, all of which are secret/hidden groups.  One is quite conservative, one is middle-of-the-road, and the other is quite free and sexy.  You might see some anti-Christian snark but not much angry atheist bitterness or fighting.

 

This forum is a great platform for discussions which can remain as anonymous as desired while remaining accessible to the masses.

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Interesting OP.  Lately, I've been questioning some things here as well.

 

I think that, in terms of deconverting, this forum is very, very helpful.  When I first joined, I really did need affirmation that I wasn't alone on the journey, which I most certainly got.  And I like the idea that I can be helpful in the process to others, offering support, my own experience, and understanding of the sometimes life changing consequences of leaving "faith,"  up to and including loss of friends and family.

 

In that sense, ex-C certainly has it's place.

 

However, once I started getting involved in discussions about politics, I found that everyone here can be just as stubborn as anyone else.  I have found that there are some that seem to be just as judgemental as any Christian, to the point of derision for a different point of view.

 

One of my major pet peeves, if you will, is the use of the term "cognitive dissonance."  This seems to be the popular comeback to any view that contradicts the majority view, and this seems, to me at least, to serve as the go-to shutdown phrase, sort of like "you'll find out when you're dead"  to a Christian.  "Oh, it's cognitive dissonance."  "Oh, such passive-aggressiveness,"  like, all of the sudden, everyone is a clinical practitioner qualified to make such diagnoses. 

 

Hell, politics are just as explosive here as anywhere, from any given side of the divide. 

 

I'm still involved in posting in a thread, would love to get out, but keep getting hammered with how much of a sheeple I am, suffering from the cog-dis, brainwashed, etc.

 

In the future, trust me, I'll stick to trying to help people escape the self-defeating utterly sick grip of Christianity, and leave the political pontificating to others.

 

....waiting for pushback.....

 

Steve

 

 

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I stay in part to help the lights stay on.

 

Also to ensure this place stays xtain predator free following Loren's Creed.

 

Help folks find that simple pleasure of having a place that blowing a fuse screaming out those pains and agonies of former life is here uncensored.

 

Long since anything contra-religion needed for my own well being. Being part of this little Community is an honor and privilege for me.

 

kevinL

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following Loren's Creed.

What exactly is this Loren's Creed?
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