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Goodbye Jesus

A Poisonous Religion


lethargicsweetheart

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I am sure people have all sorts of reasons to believe in Christianity (or any other religion for that matter), some that may appear somewhat legit, but fear is not a very stable, healthy foundation to build a faith on, nor much of anything if you ask me. If all it boils down to is fear, well... screw it, and screw all that nonsense about the Bible being the basis of "morality". It's quite clear that to many, it's nothing else than fear-based indoctrination.

 

Glad you've seen the light ;) Welcome to the fold!

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Why I'm clinging to Christianity:

*Because I'm scared of hell.

*Because my whole family is, too

*??

Yep, same reason as most people. The third reason for many would be because they 'love' Jesus, but if that doesn't apply to you then all you have holding you is fear and a feeling of obligation to family.

 

So, as step one, I'm going to explore my own personal beliefs, morals, and values- the ones I TRULY believe in.

Well, here goes. I've taken step one of many in my recovery from religion. Here's to open minds and free hearts. Cheers.

 

Well Lethargicsweetheart this is brilliant! This is a great first start. You are on the road. I remember your first post here, and I remember a lot of differing opinions that came your way, so its good to see you have been able to work things through and take your first steps to freedom. Remember if you need to talk we are here. 

LF

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This is a great post. Thanks, lethargicsweetheart!

 

I'm guessing there is a lot of social pressure even outside the family to be a Christian in Arkansas. But maybe there are a good number of nonreligious people from among whom you can have a different and more grounded network.

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Why I'm clinging to Christianity:

*Because I'm scared of hell.

*Because my whole family is, too

Its because I'm scared, and because my family wouldn't approve of me being an unbeliever.

 

 

 Why did I buy into this twisted garbage for so long?

 

 

 

lethargicsweetheart, thanks for sharing hon. A lot of us when starting to deconvert cling to christianity for the 2 reasons to state above. You bought into it because you were brainwashed into the belief (and lie) of christianity. Every person in this world has been brainwashed in to some belief system. If you had been born somewhere else, you would have been brainwashed to believe in their gods.

 

I am going to leave you 3 things to read and hopefully they will help you to know that you are not alone. Two of these letters I wrote myself 6 years ago when I first joined Ex-c. The other article is on brainwashing and I have posted it many times for newcomers. I hope these letters will help you honey. Take your time. It can be a bumpy ride for some of us to completely accept the fact that we were deceived and lied to about the so called 'holy book'.

 

Big (hug)

 

1. My letter to god. I am asking 'him' to please forgive me for leaving christianity.

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/page-1#.WGOtTVMrKUk

 

2. I wrote this letter for young people like yourself and I think you may relate very much to it. I hope it helps you sweetheart.

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/50092-a-letter-to-the-young-people-on-ex-c/page-1#.WGOto1MrKUk

 

3. This article is about brainwashing and how to reprogram your brain and is very interesting. 

 

https://www.orange-papers.org/orange-deprogram.html

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Welcome! Fear is what drove me to convert when I was very young, and it pretty much kept me there for 30 years. I deconverted about 9 years ago and that is when the fear dropped off finally. Then I began really looking at the chains that had kept me locked up for so long, and just how toxic my faith had been. I put some of it into this article on the Ex-C website: http://articles.exchristian.net/2009/07/god-of-abuse.html

 

In a nutshell, being a believer is like being an abused wife of a narcissist, and surrounded by people and a culture that views him with doe-eyed honor and devotion. Hard to break away from it, hard to explain to others who can't and don't want to understand the abuse. But the freedom that comes when the fear drops off is wonderful and natural.

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You sound anything but lethargic, sweetheart.

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Thank you guys so much. This place is the best❣

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As a Christian, I always tried to ignore that little verse in Deuteronomy addressing rape. If you were betrothed (married or engaged), you were innocent, the rapist was sentenced to death, and all that happy good stuff. That is, until the next verse goes on to say that if you are single, your rapist pays your father and then marries you.

 

WHAT? What kind of an excuse for a punishment is that? Thanks a lot, god! If that rule had been in effect when I was raped, I'd have been married at eleven! And obviously the abuse would continue throughout the marriage- basically, the woman would become a human punching bag. Excuse my language, but what the fuck? Why did I buy into this twisted garbage for so long? Man, the more insight I gain, the more ignorant I realize I used to be.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you were raped. I won't pretend to understand exactly how devastating that must have been. I certainly hope that it wasn't repeated.

 

Regarding the verse in question and realizing how ignorant we used to be, I was aware of that verse as a Christian and I actually had a *cough* rationalization for it. It was difficult for women in that culture to survive independently, so I took that verse as God's way of making the rapist take care of the victim for as long as they both lived. I didn't advocate for forcing rape victims in our culture to marry their rapists, but I used that verse when arguing that rapists should be required to financially support their victims for the rest of their lives.

 

It's mind-boggling to me now, though, that I thought that that was purpose of the verse. I didn't recognize that the real cultural context was that women were considered property, thus making rape victims "damaged goods," and therefore that verse was essentially nothing more than a "you break it, you buy it" policy that completely disregarded the victim's feelings and true worth. It's downright despicable.

 

In addition, I guess I also didn't see how stupid it was to put cultural limits on an allegedly all-powerful God, especially given the fact that the Bible has this alleged God's "Law" as the very foundation of their culture. The fact that as a believer I could easily brush that off as a restitution of sorts just shows how indoctrination can run so deep that it circumvents rational thought. I'm sorry for having thought along those lines, but such is the nature of brainwashing.

 

So, as step one, I'm going to explore my own personal beliefs, morals, and values- the ones I TRULY believe in.

 

That is a GREAT first step! I wish you the best of luck as you take this journey!

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Why I'm clinging to Christianity:

*Because I'm scared of hell.

*Because my whole family is, too

*??

Its because I'm scared, and because my family wouldn't approve of me being an unbeliever.

But what do I TRULY believe? I mean, what's the point of claiming this religion I don't truly believe in?

That's right- there is no point. If fear is the only thing keeping me in this, then it's time I got out.

So, as step one, I'm going to explore my own personal beliefs, morals, and values- the ones I TRULY believe in.

 

For starters, I have never in my entire life agreed with the Bible verse that says that homosexuality is "a sin worthy of death". Part of the reason I disagree with thus is because I identify as pansexual, but its mostly because homosexuality occurs a LOT in nature. I mean a LOT. Seriously, have you ever seen what happens when two same sex animals are left alone together? For example, my two dogs, Jak and Zeke, they're gay. Lions do it all the time, too- when one parent dies and the other is left with the cubs, they pair up with another of the same sex to care for them. My childhood cats- I had four- they were always... Well, you know. So if it occurs in nature so frequently, how could it be unnatural in humans? Furthermore, if its natural in humans, then how in the name of anything logical could it be immoral? Exactly the same as male-female attraction, is it not??

Another thing I'm against that is so common in the Bible is sexism; or, more specifically, male superiority. Now, I would not call myself a feminist by any means, but I am and always have been a strong supporter of equality. The Bible not only condones, but DEMANDS that females be treated as lesser beings who should "submit to their husbands", "not speak without being spoken to", etc. This is absolutely absurd; why would he create us if we were meant to basically be slaves and baby makers? Which brings me to my next point, which I've mentioned before in my very first post, What hope we Have as an ANCHOR of the Soul: the "loving" god's way of dealing with rape. As a Christian, I always tried to ignore that little verse in Deuteronomy addressing rape. If you were betrothed (married or engaged), you were innocent, the rapist was sentenced to death, and all that happy good stuff. That is, until the next verse goes on to say that if you are single, your rapist pays your father and then marries you.

 

WHAT? What kind of an excuse for a punishment is that? Thanks a lot, god! If that rule had been in effect when I was raped, I'd have been married at eleven! And obviously the abuse would continue throughout the marriage- basically, the woman would become a human punching bag. Excuse my language, but what the fuck? Why did I buy into this twisted garbage for so long? Man, the more insight I gain, the more ignorant I realize I used to be. Anywho, my next point.

Hell. Ah yes, the firey pits of eternal torture from our loving father up in the clouds. He loves us so much that any slip of faith will have us suffering in agony for ever and ever, amen.

What a joke! First of all, what about all the people who have never even heard of religion? Are they burning because no one bothered to tell them about it? That's ridiculous.

Ans finally, perhaps the most ironic of all is the fact that religious fanatics always made me laugh or pissed me off- well, unbeknownst to me, I was one of them for a little while. ( see my embarrassing post In a Believers Mind in the Lion's Den as an example- even I can see how dumb I sounded.)

 

Well, here goes. I've taken step one of many in my recovery from religion. Here's to open minds and free hearts. Cheers.

--Lethargicsweetheart

Your are coming to terms with the fact that god is not great, just, or an entity that merits worship.  If you further want to reinforce this, I would dive into secular books that explain where the Christian god originates from.  You will find that Yahweh evolved from the Canaanite god of war.  That's right, all this time Christians have been worshiping a god of death and conquest.  I have no guarantee this will destroy the lingering fear of hell that you have, however it will start unraveling it.  I don't know how much of a reader you are but I can send a few good recommendations your way.

 

As far as your history of abuse, no human being deserves to experience what you have.  There are many individuals who let that history control them, how they see the world, and how they interact with others.  I know you are in a tough spot right now, you are still a high school senior and living under your religious parent's roof.  I don't know what resources are currently available to you.  However, the best way to start this chapter of your life is to seek counseling.  I think you might have mentioned in a prior posts that it's not that feasible right now.  I don't know if your high school has one but mine did back in the day.  

 

You are starting your adult life free of religion.  You can mold your destiny into whatever you wish without all that baggage.  I wasted my first decade of adulthood in the mindless pursuit of "god's will".  You will be spared from this, however you cannot allow the anger from the past to dominate you either.

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Great post :-)

 

It is really true what you point out: "Man, the more insight I gain, the more ignorant I realize I used to be."

 

In the beginning of my disbelief I thought that if God would only appear himself to me. I would start following him again. But now. If it is the sick bastard god of the bible. No, I wont follow that idiot!

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Regarding the verse in question and realizing how ignorant we used to be, I was aware of that verse as a Christian and I actually had a *cough* rationalization for it. It was difficult for women in that culture to survive independently, so I took that verse as God's way of making the rapist take care of the victim for as long as they both lived. I didn't advocate for forcing rape victims in our culture to marry their rapists, but I used that verse when arguing that rapists should be required to financially support their victims for the rest of their lives.

 

It's mind-boggling to me now, though, that I thought that that was purpose of the verse. I didn't recognize that the real cultural context was that women were considered property, thus making rape victims "damaged goods," and therefore that verse was essentially nothing more than a "you break it, you buy it" policy that completely disregarded the victim's feelings and true worth. It's downright despicable.

 

And its strange how Christians rationalize horrible rules like this as being relevant only to the day and age in which they were written, claiming times have changed now. Yet they allow other rules from biblical days to perservere. Ridiculous.

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As several others have said, it all comes down to fear; fear of the unknown, fear of death. Once you realize that it's OK to be afraid from time to time, and that it's OK not to know everything, there is no need for religion.

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That "you have to look at the context" rationalization of OT things like rape laws tells me that the person using it doesn't really believe laws like that were wrong, just that they are no longer relevant. Just like hoop skirts aren't morally wrong - they simply aren't worn anymore. The context argument essentially says that selling a woman to her rapist and forcing her to marry him is acceptable, if in the right circumstances.

 

Citsonga: ". . . .I guess I also didn't see how stupid it was to put cultural limits on an allegedly all-powerful God, especially given the fact that the Bible has this alleged God's 'Law' as the very foundation of their culture." Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YESSSS! Whenever I asked church people about the way women were treated, especially in the OT, I got "well all those laws are for women's protection, because the culture was biased against them." But who put the anti-woman sentiment in place? GOD DID! With his command that Adam rule over Eve. And god could easily have commanded the Israelites to make women equal to men. There's nothing stopping him from being able to create a just society, except Christians ignoring massive gaps in logic to prop him up as a fair ruler.

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